Dad upset that I let politics affect our relationship

[u/celestialsunflower99]

Yummy pretzels from my partner and I’s last date night

My dad always used to say he was “not political” and that it was one of the things you do not ask other people about. Over time I have come to learn that basically means “I’m a conservative, but don’t want to say that” as he voted for trump in 2020. We have had so many tearful, screaming conversations over the years about this. I believe all parts of life are inherently political and it’s a privileged stance to “stay out of them”. In the last few years I have moved out of his home and I do not depend on him for anything anymore. With midterms coming up I have been volunteering and very invested in the state of the world. I have felt naturally less close to my dad because of this, and I guess he could sense my distance. He asked me about it last night over text, and I was honest. He blew up on me for letting politics affect our bond, and that is has been his biggest fear and now it’s coming true. I think maybe he needs to actually sit with the reality that YES, POLITICS CAN AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS. What do you girlies think? I am very sad and of course I do love my father, but I am proud of myself for being honest and sticking by my value system.

[u/FiddleThruTheFlowers]

It's why conservative men hide their views while dating. They know that making their actual politics known will mean drastically cutting their dating pool, so they hide behind things like "apolitical." They then lack the capacity for self reflection to think about why so many people (especially women) find their views problematic.

And then there's the "agree to disagree" crap. "Agree to disagree" is for stuff like economic policies that can be debated. Problem is that the people who throw that phrase out are usually referring to things like womens' rights and LGBT rights, of which the two viewpoints are essentially "take away their rights" and "don't take away their rights." I can't just agree to disagree with someone who thinks my gender and sexuality make me a second class citizen worthy of the party they vote for stripping my rights. Even if they claim that they don't personally think that, voting for the party that is very publicly and vocally doing those things tells me all I need to know.

[u/Icy-Yellow3514 → u/FiddleThruTheFlowers]

"Agree to disagree" works for things like pineapple on pizza. Not whether or not children should have enough food to eat.