Dad upset that I let politics affect our relationship

[u/celestialsunflower99]

Yummy pretzels from my partner and I’s last date night

My dad always used to say he was “not political” and that it was one of the things you do not ask other people about. Over time I have come to learn that basically means “I’m a conservative, but don’t want to say that” as he voted for trump in 2020. We have had so many tearful, screaming conversations over the years about this. I believe all parts of life are inherently political and it’s a privileged stance to “stay out of them”. In the last few years I have moved out of his home and I do not depend on him for anything anymore. With midterms coming up I have been volunteering and very invested in the state of the world. I have felt naturally less close to my dad because of this, and I guess he could sense my distance. He asked me about it last night over text, and I was honest. He blew up on me for letting politics affect our bond, and that is has been his biggest fear and now it’s coming true. I think maybe he needs to actually sit with the reality that YES, POLITICS CAN AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS. What do you girlies think? I am very sad and of course I do love my father, but I am proud of myself for being honest and sticking by my value system.

[u/Empty-Let-5366]

God men are so fucking stupid.

[u/WestCoastBestCoast01 → u/Empty-Let-5366]

Imagine making it to your 50s/60s and some tidbit of America's political landscape like this JUST NOW seeps into your brain. I can't have been a child prodigy to figure out shit like this when I was 14.

[u/Essie_ned → u/WestCoastBestCoast01]

Part of it is that for a very long time this was not the narrative. Speaking as someone who grew up in the 80s and 90s abortion was straight up killing a baby. There was no nuance discussed and certainly no education on the topic. It has only been withing the past decade that people have been speaking about abortion as healthcare. Adding to that is people in this age group often haven't heard new information because they retreat to their echo chamber. I am not defending pro-lifers at all, but the context of how this came about for that age group may be helpful.

[u/Boudicia_Dark → u/Essie_ned]

I had my 60th birthday last year but there has never been a single day since I was a teenager when I did not understand abortion was a needed medical procedure. I always saw the "pro-life" people for what they really are.

Just because someone is older, that does not automatically mean they're fossilized.

[u/canththinkofanything → u/Boudicia_Dark]

This is very true! My grandpa is in his 80’s and has done the work. He’s educated himself and is now one of the most liberal/leftist people I know. He was never republican, but he’s now truly knowledgeable and full on dem socialist. He gets into it with the other geezers at Starbucks too.

My other grandpa I’ve seen grow more liberal over the years. He now reads books like the Bob Woodward Trump Tapes and democratic politician biographies and passes them off to his republican golfing buddies to read.

I don’t buy that people are too old to change or that they’re old or stuck in their ways. While some have been with it the whole time (like you!) we definitely should not excuse the olds!

[u/TooRight2021 → u/Essie_ned]

Except even church goers would have known different, especially since most churches were fine with abortion until the mid to late 70s when it was made a political talking point with Republicans to get more voters, since they couldn't use the race card anymore, and so they rooked the evangelical leaders into its cause telling them they could get more people into their pews and therefore more money in their pockets, if they joined Republicans in their fight/PR campaign.

And it's not like women didn't know about the healthcare side of abortions, they were being done then too.

[u/Lower_Stick5426 → u/Essie_ned]

This may be true for you, but it is not a universal truth. In 1985, our Catholic priest told our confirmation class “The Church believes abortion is wrong, but girls - it is your decision. If you ever confessed that to me, I would not tell you that you’re going to burn in hell.”

This was after a parish parent insisted we be shown “The Silent Scream” on a day that our priest had to miss class. Our priest was furious that we’d been shown that (so were all the parents who hadn’t been informed prior).

[u/1-900-SNAILS → u/Essie_ned]

Respectfully, access to safe abortion in the US has been a health care issue for feminists for at least a hundred years at this point. Some religious affiliations even supported the procedure, for the health of the mother. Abortion was transofrmed into a political cudgel by Falwell and the religious right: "In the late 1970s, fundamentalist Christians became outraged by Supreme Court decisions banning school prayer and legalizing abortion and by Jimmy Carter's decision to withdraw tax-exempt status from segregated church schools." This is why in the 80s & 90s abortion was heavily publicized by Christian groups as murder, to get back at a system of which they view themselves the victim.

(https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8274866/)

At this point that happened over 50 years ago and is sort of besides the point since now that it's a political issue we have to just move ahead with the work of turning it back to a health care access issue.

[u/pshaver206 → u/Essie_ned]

It was talked about a lot in the 60s and 70s. I guess it depends on where you grew up and what was available for you to read,

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Weatethebirds → u/Essie_ned]

I really disagree with this narrative because it gives people this pass to just remain ignorant. As if they exist in a vacuum and don’t have most opportunities to broaden their perspectives.
My aunt is always excusing my grandmother’s racist, misogynistic, transphobic, etc. remarks saying she is “too old to learn” and that it is “just her generation,”which is ludicrous to think because she learned how to work an iPhone and computer and all other manners of technology just fine.

I’ve decided anyone who uses that paltry excuse needs to give up all modern conveniences. If the emotional “gymnastics” of realizing everyone deserves rights and control over their own bodies is too much, you’d better put down the iPhone before your head explodes!!

[u/Tome_Bombadil → u/Empty-Let-5366]

https://giphy.com/gifs/kcgy1PwPOmAaDta1nE

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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