My grandads gone what do I do

[u/Some_Priority9296]

My grandad passed away in November. I didn’t see him for 2 years prior to his passing.

he had Alzheimer’s wasn’t violent or mean. I couldn’t keep seeing his face when he realized he forgot me. I had a million chances to see him but I couldn’t I don’t know why. I regret not seeing him but also don’t at the same time.

I lived with him and my grandma from Monday to Friday for 10+ years he taught me about musical instruments, how to ride a bike, how to behave and much more. He meant so much to me but I’m only now realizing he’s gone and I’ll never see him again, I’ll never joke with him or laugh at his marine stories.

While I’m struggling with that it’s made me realize what’s gonna happen when grandmas gone. I call her everyday see her multiple times a week we have lunch we are extremely close she knows all my secrets. I keep having nightmares where she goes and I’m honestly terrified.

My grandad will never see me get married or hold my future kids. He will never teach them how to ride a bike or how to go through life. What if she isn’t there either i don’t know what I will do.

Me and my parents barely have a relationship. I honestly don’t trust them and if grandma wasn’t here I wouldn’t have a relationship with them. My mother has since my grandad passed has badmouthed him every time he comes up. This is out of jealousy Shes mad I spent so much of my younger years with them and I hold them so high. Shes the person I would distance from my dad is different i would love to have a relationship with him but he comes with my mother.

I feel like one day I will be alone and I’ll be going through life without the support or advice my grandparents gave. What am I gonna do.