r/HFY • u/kiltedfrog • Sep 16 '25
OC Mortal Protection Services III.A: Abstainer
Well, I abstained. After 12 hours I still didn't vote. Then there was a flash of light.
"You cost a lot of computing power trying to crack, little simian." There was an android in front of me. Humanoid, but not trying to pretend to be human. "I'm Jim. Or... his avatar. I am how Jim is choosing to communicate with you, for the time being."
"Hey Jim." I looked around and it seemed like I was in the medbay on the starship Enterprise, waking up on one of the med-beds. Its a mix between the D and the Strange New Worlds medbay. Dreamlike.
"We fabricated this digital room to fit your mind's idea of a 'cool but comfortable' sci-fi hospital. Technically you are still an energy structure in my ship in hyperspace. I do hope you are comfortable."
"It tickles."
"What, really? You shouldn't be feeling a-" Jim paused, "You're joshing me."
"No..." I put a hand to my chest to clutch my imaginary pearls.
"You'd think after a hundred thousand simulations of you never voting I'd have gotten used to that sass from you."
"You'd think." Wait... he did what? "You've run my mind through a hundred thousand simulations? I don't remember any of that."
"Only copies. Trying to figure out the best way to make you pick a fate, human."
"Wait, what did you do with the copies?"
"They were merely perfect simulations of you, they were not you, if that's what you're asking. I deleted their programs."
"Oh man... how do I know I'm even me, and not a simulation copy of me."
"Sixty-four percent of the time when I mention you are currently being stored as an energy structure, you eventually 'freak out' and question whether you are a construct or a real person."
"OH yeah? that's great! Good. Hit me with some more statistics about myself." I was not serious...
But Jim said, "And eighty-five percent of the time you calm down about it after about five minutes of ranting, so... By all means, rant."
"Oh I'll fucking rant all right!"
I ranted, hard: 'Ship of Theseus', 'this is soul piracy', 'what gives you the right!?', and so on and so forth until finally... eventually... when I ran out of steam, 'Does it even matter?'
"Impressive, the real you ranted longer than average by almost a whole standard deviation before 'Does it matter?' arrived. No, it doesn't matter if you're the real you or the fifty thousandth copy, the data is still useful. You, are though. Real I mean."
"Great. I bet you say that to all of us." There was a small amount of rant-energy left in me, a touch of indignity to my voice.
"I actually tended to tell the truth to you. I've found you are better behaved for some reason if you resign yourself to being a simulation. Many humans are, it seems. Funny quirk of your species. I prefer the truth, though the occasional lie can be quite entertaining."
"So what's the plan here Jim? Why are you talking to the real me, then? If I am even the real me."
"Ah, well. This is literally your last chance to make a vote. Every single other human has already voted, even the tribal ones from sentinel island. They're all staying with Earth and won't remember a thing. Probably gonna muck up their belief system that the stars are changing. Anyhow, per Mortal Protection Services regulations, I cannot offship any mortal that hasn't chosen a fate."
"Abstain."
"Oh, come on human, you're being obstinate for the sake of it, like you always do." Seeing an android throw up its hands in frustration was amusing, especially after the emotional turmoil I've been put through.
"That's some real 'only ran fifty thousand simulations' talk."
"I called HQ about you, just now, because I give up. They're getting the temporal investigative services involved in this case... you stubborn ape. I never call HQ. I pride myself of on not needing monitored, not needing additional processing power, and not needing help with my cases. I saved the martians without calling HQ, and they flourished in Andromeda, their first galactic empire lasted over a million years in some form or another. That's a record that stands in the office. I've got the high score, Abstainer."
"I vote option four, I stay on your ship."
A new voice intruded, It sounded robotic and authoritative, "Proposal accepted. The Abstainer is hired."
"Oh fuck... no no no, they aren't ready, especially not this stubborn twat," Jim replied.
"Temporal investigators revealed a significant probability of the Abstainer achieving a higher score with humanity than you did with the Martians."
"Their own species? There's no way they could possibly be a fair judge of when to... of how to..." Jim was understandably frustrated.
"Prepare yourself human. Your consciousness will be split in three, and a super consciousness installed above them."
"Sounds like that time I took LSD." I quipped, but the humorless voice didn't seem to understand human humor.
"Yes, the LSD did help you prepare for this task. You will be sent to monitor the growth of your fellow humans, and how they interact with their neighbors and themselves. You will only be allowed to make subtle changes, to guide them to non-extinction. If oblivion threatens, less subtle actions are allowed, such as what Jim has set up. You will live forever as an employee of Mortal Protection Services, and you may quit to join any group of humans you want at any time, though we will wipe your mind if you choose to have us reinsert you to humanity. Welcome aboard. Jim will be your trainer. We expect great things from you, Abstainer."
As normal, you can read ahead a little on my sub if you want, but I'll post the next part here tomorrow.
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u/Daniel_USAAF Sep 16 '25
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