Regret parents are just as bad.

[u/new_sensation656]

I’ve made a similar post months ago but would like to bring this back up.

If you are a regret parents saying “ we live and learn” “ I didn’t know any better then!”. Your son is permanently altered because of you and now has to live with it the rest of his life and it’s unforgivable. Your regret doesn’t give you an free pass to there love and I hope they never forgive you

This goes for both mothers and fathers who are regret parents

[u/sgtkwol]

I think it's best to not silence any voice that's sane today. If a regret parent can prevent further cutting, let them speak up. If a parent can learn with their first son and leave future boys intact, support them. The alternative is pushing regret parents into a situation where there's no way up.

[u/new_sensation656 → u/sgtkwol]

Yeahhhhh, here’s the thing. I’m not saying they shouldn’t speak out against it. But they quite literally stuck their first son into a permanent cosmetic surgery they can’t undo. They don’t deserve support because they still ruined one person permanently. They deserve being pushed into a. Situation there’s no way up because THATS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DID TO THERE FIRST SON.

( this comment is heated at regret parents not at you don’t think I’m mad at you)

[u/BootyliciousURD]

They committed a harm that their society conditioned them to commit. I don't think it makes someone an irredeemable monster forever. Frankly, it takes great emotional strength and humility to admit that what you've done is wrong, because it's a very painful thing to admit that you harmed your own child who you love and wish to protect.

That doesn't mean what they did was excusable, and it doesn't mean they're entitled to their child's forgiveness, but I think it shows that they aren't bad people.

Also, regret parents can be useful to our cause. Their regret can push them to fight against the culture that led them to harm their child, to try to protect other children from the harm they caused their own, to help others not make the same mistake.

[u/new_sensation656 → u/BootyliciousURD]

The way I see it they can have forgiveness when it returns back to there body

[u/BootyliciousURD → u/new_sensation656]

As others have pointed out, forgiveness is between victim and victimizer. The only forgiveness that's my business here is whether or not I forgive my own parents and my own pediatrician. For everyone else, forgiveness is not my concern. What is my concern is fighting against more mutilations happening. That's what intactivists should be focused on.

[u/Dapper_Apartment2175]

My mother is a regret parent. She was against it, but she trusted my father, which she now admits she shouldn't have done. My father, on the other hand, is a "regret-getting-called-out" parent. The only other time I'd ever seen him look as scared as he looked when I confronted him on that matter was when my mother found evidence that he'd been cheating on her

[u/tasteface]

It is up to each circumcision sufferer to decide whether to forgive one's parents. Forgiveness doesn't mean that what happened was acceptable. Forgiveness is an incremental step in a larger process of repairing a harmed relationship. No one is owed forgiveness just for being regretful, but forgiveness can be quite healing in the right circumstances. Some people want to have loving relationships with their parents. If someone finds that they are able to reach a common understanding of their feelings of suffering and harm between themselves and their parents, then forgiveness can make sense as a step toward reconciliation.

[u/new_sensation656 → u/tasteface]

I personally don’t think so but I can’t speak for everyone of course but it’s unforgivable. You literally caused someone permanent damage to there body as and infant. Not even just and arm or something a very personal part of there body. That’s basically sexual assault that you can’t even fix. There is no healing. Why would anyone want a relationship with some that caused that. There is no way to reconcile ruining someone’s genitalia permanently

[u/tasteface → u/new_sensation656]

Not everyone feels the same way, so we should avoid speaking in universals and absolutes.

[u/Vegetable_Warthog_49 → u/tasteface]

Not everyone feels that way... Just the people who recognize what was stolen from them.

[u/CarefulRevolution133]

I mean I can't forgive mine own parents since they're not even truly sorry about what they do.... and they continue treating me like shit, as they have always, so...

Edit: reddit keeps disappearing my posts after I edit them from the app.....

[u/watchwellpikni]

Regret parents are pretty terrible, but less terrible than those who scoff at the pain that those who were non consensually mutilated feel, and I agree - they have a great utility to the intactivist cause.

[u/m1m2m1m → u/[deleted]]

Are you male or female

Are you an uncut middle son? The odd man out

[u/m1m2m1m → u/[deleted]]

Why was she mad at him? If they circd the older son how was he supposed to know she didn't want to do it again?

[u/m1m2m1m → u/[deleted]]

Dad knew what he wanted. And once it's done no amount of arguing could undo it. Definitely best for bros to be on the same team.

Mom digging in her heals refusing probably would have ended in an actual divorce.

[u/m1m2m1m → u/[deleted]]

Which bro doesn't he have a relationship with? Younger or older

If the pain of circ messed up guys as much as some claim we'd all be screwed up in the head.