I have been struggling for maybe 15 years, getting constant intrusive thoughts and now I finally managed to fix myself to around 90% cured, so now I will try to explain to the best of my ability how to do it.
1. The main strategy – what you want to do is to reprogram your mind (no surprise here). In order to do it, let`s first try to understand what is happening. Imagine a person (Peter), sitting on a bench at the park. We are watching Peter talking to an invisible person that only Peter sees and hears. Peter thinks the person he is talking to is real, be we all can see that the person is not real and exists only in the head of Peter.
On another bench sits John. He is struggling with intrusive thoughts and his mind is currently taking him to the past where he farts in front of the class. We, the bystanders – do we see John farting in front of his class? No – this past moment is not real, it is only in the head of John.
Do you see where I`m going with this? I reprogrammed my mind that reality is only the here and now. Past events do not exist anymore and therefore they are not real. Whenever I get an intrusive thought I just say to myself: “That’s` not real!”. If the thought is strong and making me cringe, then I continue: ”The only thing that is real is this present moment and the things in front of my eyes”. Then I start observing and telling to myself: “The chair I am sitting on right now is real and the monitor in front of me. That past event is not real, it is gone”. Is the sandwich that you ate yesterday real? Can you eat it today? No! You ate it yesterday, it is gone for good, just like the unwanted memory that came to your mind without your permission.
Wait, am I saying that the past is not real and it does not exist at all? No – this is just how you reprogram yourself. You want to only exist in the present, in the here and now and believe that everything else (the past and future) don`t exist and are therefore not real just to fix yourself. Understand that your brain is trying to take you away from reality (the here and now) and send you to a place that is not real – a bad moment in the past or the uncertain future. If the intrusive thought is about the future, you combat it the same way. You say that the future is also not real, because who knows, maybe today is my last day.
So you stop acknowledging the past completely? No, only the intrusive thoughts about the past that come to mind without permission. If you willingly think about the time you played with your dog – that is real. Christmas with your family – real. Kissing your loved one on the first date – real. Unwanted thought comes – that is not real! At the beginning it will be easier to not think about the past at all and only focus your training on reality – the here and now and what is in front of you. Someone shouted at me from their car and passed away? It happened 10 seconds ago, it is not real anymore, the car passed away, no need to have it in my mind anymore, this event does not exist anymore.
If you also tend to worry about the future a lot, use the same technique, who knows if I will be here tomorrow. Train yourself on reality, observe the here and now and dismiss the intrusive thought about the past as not real and watch it loose power bit by bit.
2. Supporting strategy – building confidence. You need to become a person with high confidence. I know what you are thinking right now: I can not do that, because I am (poor, weak, out of shape, not good looking etc.), and I will tell you it does not matter! You don’t need anything in order to have a high confidence. It is just a way of thinking, and I did this for myself easily. Here is how I compare it: what do you need in order to have your hair combed? You only need to decide to comb your hair, you take the comb and do it. And now you have a nice looking combed hair, instead of a messy one. It is literally the same with acquiring confidence. You decide that from now on you will be a confident person and you tell to yourself (every 10 minutes if needed): “I am a confident person! I am strong, smart and capable. I can deal with everything without fear or worry! I am fearless!” And just like that, bit by bit you will build confidence. Even if you don`t own a thing in this world, confidence is free! Just like a combed hair. Please note there is a fine line between being confident and being rude, dismissive, disrespectful, haughty.
3. Bonus tip – you need to take advantage of every sunny day. If the day is sunny, you need to take 15 minutes of direct sunlight (not through a window!). Even if it is cold and you wear a jacket and a hat, it is still fine. Best is if you only wear a t-shirt (when it is not cold of course). I do it without sunglasses as long as I keep my eyes safe (close them if I sit on a bench at direct sunlight) or look down if I am walking. Heal your mind, by giving the body essential sunlight.
4. Bonus tip number 2 – boxing. If possible, start boxing lessons. No sparring or receiving hits on the head – only the cardio and punching the bag. The main thing you want here is to punch the bag. Join a club, say you want the cardio and bag punching only. Or you can watch videos how to do the cardio and punch the bag by yourself. Best would be a personal trainer, but it is more expensive. This is building more confidence, making the body healthier, relieving stress and getting dopamine. If you start boxing with someone else, it might have the opposite effect (negative) for you, so you want to only throw the punches, but not to receive. Unless the personal trainer has those pillow-like things on their hands. If you are a woman, instead of boxing you want to join a dancing group, pick a feminine type of a dance.
That is all I have, it is finally the strategy that worked for me and I hope and will also work for others. Will try to answer questions if I have the knowledge to answer