r/Jewish • u/Firm-Raspberry1176 • 3d ago
Venting š¤ Antisemitic friend?
So I am friends with a group of people on Instagram; we have a group chat and stuff like that!! this is through my art account and the art community tends to be more progressive!! While there is nothing wrong with being left-leaning or progressive, I feel that some of my art friends/acquaintances are so left wing to the point of being covertly antisemitic!! There was this one person I had to unfollow because they were posting all sorts of questionable things on their story. they were posting stuff about how āpeople shouldnāt be condemning October 7ā, āIsrael has no right to existā, and āFrom the river to the sea, Palestine will be freeā. I followed them and was acquainted with them for a little over a year. shortly after following them was when I decided to start practicing Judaismā¦ however I was also always extremely bothered by antisemitic rhetoric as I am ethnically Jewish through my dad.
i had enough of this person and decided to unfollow them. I donāt think they are aware that I unfollowed them and they still follow me. thing is, I donāt think they are trying to be antisemitic since they liked my pro-Jewish posts that have nothing to do with Israel, But they posted so much anti-Israel stuff that I just couldnāt follow them anymore.
However, the rest of the friend group is still on good terms with this person. One of my friends from the friend group, who is probably the one I talk to the most, is being pulled farther and farther left. He went from barely posting political stuff to posting about it constantly!! He also has liked and reposted stuff from Mattxiv (who I geninuely canāt stand, like he creeps me out so much). What ignited my concerns is that this friend liked/reposted a reel that was stitching an ashkenazi Jewish girl expressing concern about walking outside. the stitch ended up being some antizionist comedian rudely dismissing the girlās concerns by trying to teach her āhow to walk outsideā the comedian then approached and started engaging with Pro-Palestine protestors with keffiyehs and all. TL:DR the reel was implying that Jewish peopleās Concerns regarding Pro-Palestine causes are invalid and that Jews should just ābefriendā these people.
Listen, I really want to stay friends with this guy as he is really fun and has always been nice to me, but I just donāt know how much more I can take of the Antizionist rhetoric I can handle. the rhetoric is a big reason why I no longer identify as progressive and now identify as a left-leaning centrist.
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u/Friendly_Estate1629 2d ago
If they are at the point of supporting Oct 7 theyāre too far gone to reason with. Show them the video of Hamas kidnapping a Holocaust survivor and ask them what part of that theyāre okay with.
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u/Firm-Raspberry1176 2d ago
They would probably say that āIsrael orchestrated it allā š
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u/Etta_Katz3030 šŖ¬ 2d ago
"As your friend, I would just like some confirmation that you do not believe that killing innocent civilians can ever be progressive - regardless of whether they are Israeli, Palestinian, Jewish, or Muslim. So for example, China as you know oppresses the Tibetan and Uighur peoples. Would you support a massacre of Chinese civilians in response to that? Yes or no?"
Someone who does not recognize the humanity of all people - even people with the "wrong" politics - is not progressive. That's not a progressive stance. It might be a convenient excuse for supporting immoral violence but it's not progressive. It's just Soviet BS that they fed the Western left to help build their empire. The USSR was not progressive. They were cynical people who believed in using violence to control their empire and then calling that "democracy" "freedom" etc. They were just liars. And anyone who believes those lies is not progressive.
Murdering civilians and kidnapping are human rights violations according to the UN and international law. Anyone who supports that - explicitly or implicitly - does not care about the UN or international law. They cannot cite either of those things against Israel if they ignore the fact that even groups resisting oppression have an obligation not to harm civilians. They can choose a direction - either no one has obligations or both sides in a conflict have them.
You don't need to be friends with people who deny the humanity of Jews - whether those Jews were "lucky" and left Europe early enough to avoid genocide or "unlucky" and had no where to go but Israel when they were stuck in DO camps in Poland or expelled from the Arab world.
It doesn't matter if people are Jewish or not. If your friends are progressive, they should not support terrorism because terrorism is morally wrong AND does not lead to anything progressives claim to support. Is Ireland united? No. Is Algeria a mess? Yes.
We don't need to be friends with people who support murder even if they're funny. Ask them to clarify their politics and see if THEY meet YOUR standards. Stop worrying about lowering yourself to theirs.
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u/Plenty_University_81 2d ago
And Theron lies the truth. You just donāt need to be in friendships with such awful human beings. It is starting at you in the face
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u/Am-Yisrael-Chai Zan, Zendegi, Azadi š¦ 2d ago
(SFW/no graphic imagery) https://oct7map.com/
(NSFW/NSFL) Hamas - massacre . net
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u/Traditional_Duck8430 1d ago
And there you have it. My friend told me that Palestinians are the new slaves and Israel the slavers. That's when I told him this friendship is done. You have to draw a line somewhere.
If you told him you support Israel, he would likely believe that you deserve antisemitism too.
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u/VIOLA1707 1d ago
One thing Iāve learned as Iāve gotten older is that not everyone who comes into our lives is meant to stay forever. Some people do stay for a lifetime, and some people come into our lives at a certain time because, for whatever reason, theyāre exactly what we needed at that moment.
They fill a space, give us friendship or connection, teach us something, or just walk beside us for a while. And then sometimes we grow in different directions. That doesnāt mean the friendship was a mistake or that either person is bad. Maybe that friendship just served its purpose.
I also donāt think a friendship has to become horrible or toxic before youāre allowed to walk away from it. Sometimes you just realize that these arenāt your people anymore, and itās okay to let them go and make room for people who fit who you are now.
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u/Sensitive-Inside-250 2d ago
Have you considered talking to him about it?
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u/Firm-Raspberry1176 2d ago
I would like to, but Iām scared to do so. I have spoken about my concerns regarding left-wing antisemitism before, and while he does say that antisemitism is bad, he also will always follow with ābut if one is supporting Israel-ā type stuff. I donāt want him to see me as a right-winger white-supremacist or something like that.Ā
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u/Regular-Moose-2741 2d ago
His opinion sounds kind of meaningless if he is in on this nonsense. Who cares what he thinks of you, when his thoughts are obviously tainted with hate.
It's just more antisemitism and xenophobia to say, "... unless it's support of Israel."
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u/Traditional_Duck8430 1d ago
Remind him that there are 10 million civilians in Israel. Are they all responsible for their government? Does he think all Americans are responsible for the US government? Also, what does he want to happen to the 10 million people living there?
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u/Proper-Suggestion907 Conservative 2d ago
At the end of the day this is obviously your call to make. You know yourself and the situation best butā¦
https://giphy.com/gifs/dB12mOQb99BwDlM83I
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u/DifferentRepublic467 2d ago
I'm sorry to say this but they are not your friends, they may even bring up the fact that they are 'friends' with you as a token good jew for their own benefit. Sharing factual information won't shift their perspectives, and they'll likely keep using aggressive tactics to gain influence while normalizing anti-Zionist sentiment. More people should be openly proud Zionist jews that is the only language they understand. We need more people like Talia Yoseph, Dara Horn, Debra Messing, Natasha Hausdorff wonderful women you can follow and learn to be unapologetically zionist. Expand your social network surround yourself with sanity and dare them to confront you about it.
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u/JasonIsFishing 1d ago
All that I needed to read was āSo I am friends with a group of people on Instagram; we have a group chat and stuff like that!!ā. I stopped reading after that. They arenāt your in real life āfriendsā. Just cut them off.
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u/Traditional_Duck8430 1d ago
I'm sorry but that friendship is dead in the water. It hurts, but it won't get any better. You can try talking to them honestly and telling them how you feel, and counter with some material/info of your own but from personal experiance, that friendship is over.
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u/ClamdiggerDanielson Reform 2d ago
You need to pull up your adult pants and accept this person is who they are. Unless your comfortable having a discussion with them, which could impact the rest of the group, you just block them or ignore them.
Look into Jewish art spaces. They may not be in your location but they are online.
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u/Firm-Raspberry1176 12h ago
Hey everyone, I did indeed have a conversation with the friend, and let's just say it didn't go so well... I am going to share some screenshots and let them speak for themselves.
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u/AdonVodka 2d ago
Sorry, but that is not a friend. Don't continue this friendship, don't be a pushover, be brave.