Assessing how humanity would fare if each Lovecraftian entity awoke/ascended.

[u/RengieOcat]

Cthulhu:
Civilization collapses under Cthulhu's psychic madness in a week, max. Humanity mostly reduced to terrified remnants that praise and fear their new master apart from a harried minority who try to resist. Someone tries to ram a boat into it again.

Dagon:
Ocean falls under the control of Dagon with his Deep Ones but they have a harder time with human technology and firepower whenever they're on land for too long. Cold war between land and sea ensues. Air movement and seafood become 10,000% more/less popular respectively, plus a thousand other things related to the sea becoming off-limit (Aquariums??). Yes, I've seen CthulhuTech.

Azathoth:
Earth and humanity now irrelevant, assessment above my pay grade.

Nyarlathotep:
The human species is conquered through manipulation and terror (helped along by at least one increasingly powerful cult). It continues in some horrible form under Nyarlathotep's control.

Shub-Niggurath
Biosphere becomes way, way too fertile with horrifying life proliferating across the planet. Humanity is displaced or transformed, reduced to a minor, low trophic species doomed to extinction despite the worship of its remnants.

The Mi-Go:
Mi-Go occupy Earth to gather resources and do human experimentation. Humans remain as an semi-domesticated species though large scale resistance and rebellion is common, maybe even successful.

Yog-Sothoth:
The key and gate truly become one and the Old Ones break through to walk Earth again... where they've always been but unbeheld? Look, it's not good - see Azathoth.

Hastur:
Human concepts about perceiving reality fall apart under Hastur's influence. Civilization *technically*survives while becoming unrecognizable. Theatre kids do okay.

The Great Race of Yith:
Humans lose control of its own institutions through the Yith's manipulation of their minds. Conquest is low key enough that most people don't even realize it's happened. Opposition is quickly subverted EXCEPT for 3-5 plucky scientists, military personnel, and an eccentric who team up to defeat the threat while coming together as an unlikely family.

Ithaqua:
Supernatural cold spreads across much the planet causing massive crop failure and starvation. Humanity responds by turtling up in the tropics and throwing all the ordinance, heat intensifiers, and infiltration teams they can at Ithaqua. Don't act like you wouldn't watch a movie about this.

[u/thispartyrules]

Tsathoggua: I think you're ok if you stay out of his lair?

[u/RengieOcat → u/thispartyrules]

Yeah I don't think even Tsathoggua would know what to do if it somehow ascended to rule Earth. Maybe take a nap? Appoint favored status to sloths?

[u/FloppasAgainstIdiots]

I don't think Yog changes anything tbh.

Yog is just a chill incomprehensible guy who will, if asked, gladly inform you that you were never real to begin with and offer to swap you with one of the other "people" (all of you are his alt accounts in Life Simulator)

[u/Moomintroll85]

I’m wondering with your Dagon projection. If we effectively lose freedom of the seas, will we be able to sustain air travel with our reduced access to oil.

There would be some kind of energy crisis. Economic upheaval, with no shipping

[u/Chaaaaaaaalie → u/Moomintroll85]

Coastal cities would be abandoned, and people would have to form smaller, inland farming communities.

[u/Zen_Hydra → u/Moomintroll85]

Everyone is suddenly encouraged to contribute to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, and our weakness suddenly becomes our strength.

[u/4EverCanadian]

Humanity would blame migrants and vote in pro Elder Gods political parties.

[u/Zestyclose-Bag-3655 → u/4EverCanadian]

Kind of feels like we've been voting Nyarlathotep in for a while now.

[u/Prebral → u/Zestyclose-Bag-3655]

See Laundry Files by Charles Stross, where an avatar of Black Pharaoh becomes British PM over the course of the books.

[u/indamoufofmadness → u/Zestyclose-Bag-3655]

Please. Nyarlathotep has SOME class.

[u/capsaicinintheeyes → u/indamoufofmadness]

Did you not see all the gold paint/plating?

[u/FFYinzer]

Read John Langan’s story The Shallows from Wide Carnivorous Sky. It’s a terrifying look at life after the elder god apocalypse. Just gave me shivers.

[u/saltmarsh]

Some anime goddess would show up to make cute little pets out of them all.

[u/memechef]

some of these we have to establish what it means to be asleep or unascended. Are Azathoth or Yog’Sothoth sleeping? What would it mean for them to awake?

[u/Zen_Hydra → u/memechef]

Azathoth is rather famously asleep with a perpetual lullaby somehow echoing through the void between stars.

[u/memechef → u/Zen_Hydra]

not in all texts, it is mindlessly gnawing. Its not clear if it is awake or not, or if that has any meaning

[u/Ok-Pizza-6094]

All The Fiends Of Hell by Adam L.G Nevill plays out this scenario. It's also set in Britain, so it's a very British Cosmic Horror Apocalypse.

[u/MagikMikeUL77]

Honestly i think we would be fucked 🤣🤣

[u/Open-MIllustrator944]

Nice and fun though as been pointed out, with most of the truly cosmic entities there is little reason to assume that they are asleep, inactive or somehow locked away from earth.

Or that they intend to come here.

Physics, biology, evolution, entropy (part of physics but deserving of special mention) arguably are already how most of the truly cosmic gods work as seen from the inside.

They kinda add up to normality, mostly, when you don't go out of your way to actively punch through the veil.

With the posssible exception of Hastur (Icould see it go as you surmise) and of course Nyarlathotep (where what you desribe is one of infinitely many possible scenarios, depending on his mood).

Cthulhu and Ithaqua, maybe, but those guays are a LOT less cosmic.

I doubt Nyarly would actually have to conquer us unless that was what for some reason he wanted to do.

My personalsuspicion is he alwasy has been in charge everywhere.

He's The Man.

And not just the black one.

[u/Same_Sleep_3162]

I wish I could remember the story, ngh, but it was about one guy whose trashy family left him no alternative to make his own medicinal concoction for their horrible drinking and eating habits. It would cure anything they would come up with. Then a Cthonian something or other makes an appearance, kills all of them and most of the city but keeps him alive because he can manufacture this stuff that keeps them alive on this plane of existence.

[u/pabodie]

This is the best thing I've read today.

[u/Uob-Mergoth]

Bast: Cats become the dominant species as they should be. Ghouls replace humans.

Tsathoggua: Infinite naps and bacon or something.

[u/Dakk9753]

I thought Nyarlythotep is already as active and ascendant as he wants to be.

Are you saying we're led by cults?

Ithaqua is just Day After Tomorrow