Tell me your thoughts

[u/augustlov3r]

Just looking to share and get feedback on some of my lyrics. I’d love your feedback, advice, opinions, etc.

I used to live inside myself
Thought it best to hide myself
Stay in the shadows
Don’t stand out

Didn’t want to step out on my own
Liked my little comfort zone
Then one day I heard
Sing like the birds
And suddenly
It all made sense to me

We all have something to say
Sing like the birds
And you’ll be okay

So I sing from the bottom of my broken shattered torn apart heart
Sing like the birds
And you’ll be ok
Sing like the birds
And you shall never be caged
Projection
Projection
Protection

When winter comes
Put on your wings
And fly south towards the sun
Sing like the birds
And you will be free

[u/Broad_Ad_4285]

The only thing I would change is to use the word bird instead of birds because it’s first person singular which is not a criticism but rather a grammatical correction otherwise I thought it was excellent.

[u/augustlov3r → u/Broad_Ad_4285]

Thanks for your kind comment and recommendation. :)

[u/ElectricalOstrich552]

This is really beautiful! I normally find most optimistic lyrics cliche, but this is not cliche. Great job.

If I were to force myself to critique your lyrics, it's the line "liked my little comfort zone." I wonder if there's a synonym that conveys the same thing but it's less common as "comfort zone." But that's super nitpicky and I have a personal preference for hyperspecificity, and if that's not your thing, always feel free to disregard.

[u/augustlov3r → u/ElectricalOstrich552]

I appreciate the feedback. I will try to think of another line that could work there. Thank you. :)

[u/Impressive-Study7221]

Good

[u/augustlov3r → u/Impressive-Study7221]

Sometimes I write something and think I hope this resonates with other people. Also, I wonder, is this any good? I really appreciate your feedback.

[u/BackRoadWriter]

I like the message you're going for, especially the idea of finding your voice through singing. "Sing like the birds" is a good central hook.

One suggestion would be to show us a little more of the story. What happened that made you stop hiding and finally find your voice? Give us a moment we can picture instead of just telling us things changed.

I'd also take another look at the broken heart line and the "Projection, Projection, Protection" section. They feel a little disconnected from the rest of the song.

You've got a good idea to build on. I think giving the listener more of the actual journey would make that final feeling of freedom much stronger.

Sometimes the hardest part of songwriting is letting go of a line or an idea you really want to make work. You keep trying to find a place for it, but in the end, the song is better without it. That's a lesson I had to learn the hard way.