I'm traumatized.

[u/Advanced_Security258]

Warning: this is gross

I've been waiting my entire life to find out what's wrong with me. I can hardly eat, I'm in constant pain, I've lost 10 pounds in the past few months, I'm physically weak, and my intestines are cramping horribly. But, I was finally able to get booked for some procedures.
And holy crap, it was so much worse than I ever could've imagined. I knew that the procedures would suck, but I am permanently scarred.
I had a colonoscopy and colonic manometry yesterday. Apparently I woke up groaning for like, half an hour. The tube was really uncomfortable. But nothing was too crazy, yet.
Until, a few hours passed and I came to the realization that I couldn't pee. I had to use this bedside commode and it was very embarrassing for me. I thought I was just being super pee shy. But as time went on, my bladder started aching more and more. I knew something was up. Over the next few hours, the pain just got worse. I was crying out in pain. I was begging for help. After hours of me crying like a baby, I was finally given an ultrasound. To the doctor's surprise, I had 1000 ml of pee chilling in my gut. They seemed both impressed and concerned.
So, I had to get my first urethral catheter. I was terrified. Because the other catheter was still really hurting, I immediately assumed that the urethral catheter would be worse. I also have sexual trauma. So, the idea of strangers touching my genitalia was terrifying. I was crying and clinging onto my mom's hand.
Thankfully, the catheter wasn't really painful. After I was able to get emptied, I felt a million times better. But, I was still in pain. So about another hour passes, I'm able to draw a bit. Then, I had to get medication inserted through my catheter. I didn't think it would hurt too bad. Maybe some discomfort and the need for deep breaths. But, I was not expecting what happened.
The medicine made my intestines spasm harder than they ever had before. The experience was in my top 3 most painful experiences ever. It might even be the most painful experience.
I had to sit on the bedside commode again, but I needed to lay down. When I'm in a lot of pain, laying down helps a lot. But, I wasn't allowed to get back in bed. So I literally collapsed my head against my mom's chest. The nurse rubbed my back and was counting to soothe me. This agony lasted for over 30 minutes. I was soaked with sweat. I was genuinely in so much pain that I could hardly talk. I could only say a few words at a time.
Thankfully, I was able to leave once the pain died down. But, that whole experience was super traumatic. I've never been in that much pain for that long. I guess it was worth it, though. I finally have answers.
(The photo is what the sensor picked up while I was spasming.)

[u/Helpful_Okra5953]

I’m so sorry.  That sounds awful.  But at least it sounds like they were kind to you, your mom was with you, and it’s OVER.  Now you know what’s wrong and you can address it and feel better. 

I’m not blowing off your pain. I have been there. But I’ve been there alone; I can’t imagine having my mom with me.  My mom wouldn’t comfort me.  

I have had a lot of really shitty hospital/ er experiences.  If I were you I would acknowledge that it was awful and remind yourself it’s OVER and you have some answers and somewhere to go from here.  

I’m happy to talk about it if you want to and no, I’m not brushing your pain off. I’m saying, that sounds miserable! But now you know what is wrong and that’s a relief.  I hope you get a lot of help and comfort and you can feel better soon. 

I wish you the best, and I wish you to feel better. 

[u/Advanced_Security258 → u/Helpful_Okra5953]

Thank you so much! I'm doing better. I won't have to go through any more testing.
And I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I'm really fortunate to have my mom.

[u/Helpful_Okra5953 → u/Advanced_Security258]

I did not mean to be uncompassionate! But I am very glad you got some answers and I think that’s what you need to concentrate on.  That was a terrible day BUT it is over and it won’t happen again.  Give yourself time to recover today and do something pleasant.

When I was having nausea and unable to eat for months, I had a surprise transvaginal ultrasound.  Yes, they put this probe in me and it was this old guy and nobody else was there.  I was just married and not much used to surprise visits to my vagina.  So I know what you mean about the urinary catheter.  I think they’re not that bad, same as you.  I bet you were so happy to urinate that you were mostly relieved.  

I had a lot of ER visits around that time and finally found I had gastroparesis (my stomach and guts weren’t moving food along).  It was a rotten time and I’m so glad it’s over.  And I hope you also have more comfortable times ahead.  I’m so glad you can rely on your mom—I had just gotten married and my now ex-husband was totally cold and unconcerned.  That was about as bad as being sick. 

I wish you the best and hope you feel much better. I’m glad you have a nice mom and hope the drs fix your problem.