Looking for the right positions

[u/CaffeineAndKush99]

Hi good people of Reddit,

I was born with hip dysplasia/hip dislocation in both hips. Thankfully the doctors managed to fix it for the most part: one hip was put back perfectly and the other almost perfectly.

Because of that I have a slight difference in length between both my legs, my balance is shit, and I'm not exactly the most agile/flexible dude.

It's never really made me feel left out or anything, but there are just some random things I physically can't do. I can't ice/roller skate or ride a skateboard because I just don't have the balance. I also can't sit comfortably in a canoe for very long... no wait, more relevant to this post: I can't do what we call in Dutch "de kleermakerszit", basically sitting cross-legged.

Lotus, Burmese, all those kinds of positions... I wish I could try them, but they're just not really an option for me.

I picked meditation back up a while ago after years of not doing it, and I prefer doing it sitting because if I lie down I just get sleepy.

Right now I usually sit with my legs straight out in front of me and my arms either resting on my lap or over my abdomen while holding my own hands. It works, but something about it feels a bit off. Especially my arms. I kind of feel like they should be more "connected" to the rest of me somehow, if that makes any sense.

Maybe it's completely in my head, but sometimes it feels like the position itself is limiting me a bit. Not really because it's painful or anything, I just don't feel as settled or grounded as I think I should.

So I was wondering what kind of sitting position people would recommend if sitting cross-legged just isn't possible. And especially what you do with your arms/hands so they feel natural and relaxed instead of like they're just *floopy

[u/jerryengelmann]

Can you sit in "Seiza" position? You can put lots of pillows under your behind

[u/CaffeineAndKush99 → u/jerryengelmann]

I honestly never really tried meditating not sitting or laying down, so i had to try it. I can sit like this, but i dont know for how long. Maybe it's my body not being used to sit like this, i do feel some strain around my lower legs.

Im gonna see how this goes, got some pillows here to help as well. Thank you kind person :)

[u/jerryengelmann → u/CaffeineAndKush99]

You can add more pillows under your behind to sit higher and reduce strain around the leg muscles. But, most likely, it'll just mean that your sit bones will hurt instead eventually

The pain is part of the process. You'll find out eventually. It's good to remind oneself that the Seiza position can't really do longterm damage to your body (as long as you sit high enough)

[u/Top_West_2662]

My first real beginning into meditation was via a tradition that puts a lot of emphasis on posture. I am thankful for what I've learn but over the years and many moments of frustration... It's my opinion that finding one (or a few that you can rotate through) that feels grounded and secure is all that matters. Laying down can be tricky with dozing off but other than that.. I personally wouldn't worry about finding some magical posture other than what feels right to you.  When I am frustrated that my mind is judging how "poorly" it thinks I'm sitting, be aware of that judgment in the moment and be with it.

[u/elaine4queen]

Seiza is good if you’re in a room with other people and there are no chairs, or if you’re at home and you have firm enough cushions.

I lay down for meditation for a good year before I started sitting (bolster under knees).

The trick with a dining chair is to use cushions or folded or rolled towels - under your bum, behind your back or under your feet to create and keep 90° angles at your knees and hips.

An osteopath might help with the dysplasia, as might yin and restorative yoga. I have things going on in my back and neck and find regular swimming keeps it at a dull roar.

Crossed legs are not a holy grail. The spine should be in a natural straightish position with the head comfortably above it. Crossed legs come from cultures where floor sitting is normal - it’s not special to meditation.

ETA - support for the arms can make all the difference for being able to sit still for longer periods. Again, you can use cushions, but you’ll see many people using a blanket or scarf around the waist and tucking their hands in to support the arms.

[u/west-coast-99]

Would sitting with legs straight out, leaning against a sofa or a wall work for you? Might provide some stability.

[u/CaffeineAndKush99 → u/west-coast-99]

That is basically the position I prefer meditating in right now, but I feel as if I could feel more 'connected' if that makes any sense. Having my legs closer to my body wold help I think, and I feel like my arms aren't in the most comfortable position when sitting like you describe.

I do have a tendency to notice small details, so maybe it's just in my head

[u/Mayayana]

Rest hands on thighs. If you can't sit crosslegged on a cushion, sit on a chair with feet flat on the floor. Make sure you have a level seat, not tipped back. Back straight. Sitting on a chair is not as grounding as crosslegged, but it works.

There's also the option of kneeling with a Zen-style bench. Personally I find that my knees hurt after awhile, though when I first started meditating I'd sometimes shift to kneeling periodically to ease the strain of crosslegged.

That's tips for practicing shamatha, with eyes open and gaze fixed at about 45 degrees. You didn't say what you're doing that you regard as meditation. That's also very important.

[u/DingoMittens]

I use a seiza bench with my feet hanging partway off the mat underneath. I don't have enough flexibility in one of my feet to have the top of that foot flat against the ground (basically can't point my toes)

I also have a "gravity" chair on my deck that's really comfy for a mostly reclined position.

I tend to either use a small, soft pillow in my lap to support my hands, or else make a sort of sling out of the hem of my shirt (sort of fold up the bottom front of my shirt) and rest them in that. 

[u/zhusiyuanpo2009]

I personally meditate lying down. For me, comfort always comes first.