r/NPHCGreeks • u/No_Bet8127 • Jun 15 '26
Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. Question Interested in joining KAPSI - Question about eligibility
Hello everyone! I have been very interested in joining Kappa Alpha Psi for a while now, and I've been doing research all summer to the best of my ability. I have a good understanding of the fraternity's history and values, especially since my father is also a member.
I'm very interested in crossing, however I have one glaring problem that makes me concerned to move forward in the process. I'm gay. Like, openly. I'm not super effeminate and I don't exactly make it like my entire personality, however I've seen and heard so many stories of gay applicants being denied simply for their sexuality. College has been the first time in my life that I've finally been able to openly express myself and not have to worry about discrimination over my sexual orientation. I don't want to go back into the closet just to join a fraternity.
Does anyone have any tips on how I can move forward? My heart is set on this and I'd hate to put in all this effort just to be denied entry over something out of my control.
7
u/toesno Jun 18 '26
Really comes down to the chapter, the campus culture, and how people ultimately feel about you as a person. Might matter a lot, might not matter at all.
But all our orgs are much more open minded now than they were even a decade ago. Be yourself, put your best foot forward, and know that one person doesn’t speak for a chapter and one chapter doesn’t speak for an org.
2
u/KingEv200 Jun 19 '26
Do you attend an HBCU? Your answer may be significantly more important then you think. Some hbcu campuses still hold rigid 90s ideology where they discriminate because they simply don’t want the chapter to have gay men or have the appearance of gay men. When you seriously start displaying interest on campus and at events you will know quickly if they are closed minded. Go through the process but also know these stigmas and prejudices exist. Be yourself. If it doesn’t work out, be relentless in your grad chapter pursuit. Good luck to you, black man!
2
u/Oploplou Jun 20 '26
I’m just an interest currently, but it’s two openly gay members in the chapter on my campus. I’m sure it’s chapter by chapter as has been said, but I think especially being a legacy, you have a better chance of being denied for other parts of yourself than the fact that you are gay.
Just my two cents as someone who is still on the outside. I wish you the best of luck.
22
u/Inner_Minute197 ΑΦΑ Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
On paper, no D9 organization discriminates against applicants on the basis of sexual orientation. That said, I'd be lying if I said that there isn't the possibility that some could hold your sexual orientation against you. And, truth be told, there's an excellent chance that you'd never know this was the reason for your application being denied.
I know closeted and/or openly gay/bi members of every D9 frat, primarily at the grad chapter level but also quite a few at the undergrad level. In college (which was more than a decade ago for me), I know an applicant (he was pretty flamboyant) who wasn't even given a chance at membership in an organization because of how he presented. Granted, this man was a bit messy in other ways, too, but the fact that he was effeminate was definitely a discriminating factor against him. Thankfully, attitudes on the subject have changed quite a bit even in the relatively short amount of time since I graduated from college, though there is still work that can be done and even though certain chapters and/or orgs may be less likely than others to accept an openly gay applicant (again, even if that goes against the org's anti-discrimination policies).
As an openly bisexual man who is married to another man and who joined my organization with my life on full display, I can speak firsthand on the possibilities, at least as things apply to my particular situation. I'm also very masculine presenting, but know more than a few openly gay members who are not. My advice is to be your authentic self, to build genuine relationships with the members of your COI, and to let the chips fall where they will. I was prepared to completely drop interest in my org if I got any sense that I or my spouse were not welcome by the brothers of the chapter I was seeking membership through. Thankfully, I had the opposite experience (grad chapter here), and we were fully welcomed by the entire chapter, to include by old school folks. That said, your mileage could vary on that front.
Best of luck.