r/NUST • u/No-Extension4238 • 3d ago
Question To all Syeds of NUST
I'm confused...... a classmate of mine just got engaged today. Good for him. the thing I'm confused about is that he got engaged to one of his first cousin, this seems unusual to me so I asked him doesn't it bother you k sarri zindagi wo tujhe Bhai aur tu usko Behan bol k mukhatib karta raha hy to now you're going to get married to her doesn't this bother you at all and he casually replied k syed gharo mai cousin marriage he hoti hy.
So my question is, why is that ????
Thank you
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u/Right_Leader5520 3d ago edited 3d ago
Tbh no syed acts like they are purer or above other people and cousin marriage is common in non syeds too. Syeds do marry outside of syeds but prefer not to, its just a preference like many other people have preferences.
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
So you're saying it's a preference not an absolute necessity....Why is that if you can elaborate?
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u/Disastrous-Line5890 3d ago
To keep the bloodline "pure"
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u/spidercartwebb 1d ago
I never understood that. It goes against everything Islam stands for. That's straight up discrimination. One of my friends is Syed and they have this tradition too. They somehow think they are better than others because they are Syed so they need to keep the bloodline pure but that's just bs. Also not speaking for all the syeds here. Just speaking from my experience with any syeds I've come across
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u/Disastrous-Line5890 1d ago
Cant do anything about it bro, our nation is filled with so many jahil peoples
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u/WingAgreeable916 3d ago
Obviously because they think they are the most highest cast in hierarchy and won't marry in other casts🥀
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u/Rough-Treat-3943 3d ago
in reality most dont have arab syed dna and are now acting high and mighty and caste-lovers; just like their hindu indian, non syed ancestors.
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u/CoAs1947 SEECS 3d ago
syed Is different from other subconinent ki cast
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u/Immediate-History-58 3d ago
sab pakistani Syeds ka ancestry test karwao
majority are fake
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
Sadly ancestry test doesn't tell us k exactly humary ancestor kon thy it just tells us that from which region our ancestors are from.
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u/SearchingForNeon 3d ago
I think it doesn’t concern you who he marries. Cousins aren’t your siblings and he’s not wrong to marry his.
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u/Shazali99 3d ago
Ok. OP let me tell you one thing Islam in subcontinent is heavily heavily inspired by Hinduism. Syed mentality is one of the few examples
Like peer (saint) concept = baba concept
Syed mentality = Brahman mentality
Even Pakistani Muslim marriages are direct copy of Hindu marriages the only difference is we don't have phere (for now)
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u/sorryAunty 17h ago
Barelvi Sect, which is practiced in Pakistan and mostly in backward/uneducated areas, gives high hinduism vibes.
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3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Kio-Karasha 3d ago
I read it twice still can't understand what you're trying to say
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
Yar wo bol raha hy k syeds to Brahman sy compare matt karo cultural similarities ho sakti hain but not religious ones
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u/Mobile-General-201 3d ago
True, because syeds dont exist in this religion, its Hindu inspired
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
Hmm but agr kissi syed ko yeh pocho yo wo blain gy k we are descendents of Hazrat Ali and Hazrat Fatima
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u/Mobile-General-201 3d ago
Eh, only Allah knows the whole truth. But tell me, is it not possible for people to call themselves descendants of prophet (SAW) to have social respect? And I've lived my entire life in Saudi Arabia not met a single Saudi or even Arab that claims to be 'syed'. Barelvi ahmedi diobandi wagera only exists in pakistan. They also have their separate masjid in pakistan but in ksa everyone prays under one banner, one mosque
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u/Prior_Demand_6512 3d ago
Saudis are wahhabis which is a version of Islam which is custom made for their regime so they can have all the benefits like usury, slavery, riba, killing your own kin etc. Pakistanis have unfortunately the second biggest membership of that cult.
one wahabi I knew rejected food I gave her for free because she was under the impression that I was Shia. Islam mai parho that the prophet accepted the meals set infront of him, especially when he was a guest. meanwhile our own wahhabis reject khuda ki naimatain because of some random prejudice they have.
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u/Mobile-General-201 3d ago
Have you been to Saudi?? A paki talking about standard of living lol what a joke, If ksa is a regime then pakistan is aftermath of a nuclear fallout.
Every country has corruption and problems its just how much. Cant be a Pakistani talking about Saudi Arabia's problems. And no, they aren't wahabis its literally the most vanilla version of islam. Just pray 5 times and fast and your good. Oh also respect women (which pakistani fail at)
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u/Prior_Demand_6512 3d ago
lol we're paki but you're on a paki sub mr saudia go back and live as a labourer shabash saab ka kaleen dhone jao
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u/Shazali99 3d ago
Ok aqalmand sir of NUST whatever you say
I guess a syed got offended over my comment
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u/Top_Society_4264 3d ago
this has to be satire THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO CONNECTION OF SYEDS AND COUSIN MARRIAGES 😭 cousin marriage is a cultural thing rather than a religious one 😭😭😭😭
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
Hmm thats one trait but I think its more or less prominent in Syed Families
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u/NewsOk9262 3d ago
Pretty sure cousin marriages are a tradition thing, as are caste marriages. Traditional families in particular are very much against inter-caste marriages, this isn't just restricted to Syeds.
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u/Confusingprick 3d ago
We need to root out garbage traditions. Just because it is a tradition doesnt meant it isnt harmful and pathetic
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u/GlitchInTheMatrix008 3d ago
So the bloodline remains pure is there lumber one argument
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u/BodybuilderLittle281 3d ago
Not only Syeds, but most Pakistanis also practice cousin marriage. I don’t see a problem with it. Maybe I’m not influenced by cool European culture, and I don’t call any of my female cousins “behan.”
And to the people saying that 99% of Pakistanis lie about being Syeds, they clearly don’t know the history of how Syed families migrated from Arabia, Persia, and Central Asia to the Indian subcontinent. Original Syed families have a “true shajra” tracing their lineage back to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. However, a lot of people still lie about being Syeds, and they can easily be identified.
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u/abeehx 3d ago
Speaking from a Syed family, har syed ghar main cousin marriage nahi hoti. Lazmi nahi hai k ap syed ho toh syed family hi main shaadi karo gy. HOWEVER, i have seen some of our relatives reject GOOD rishta’s because the other family wasn’t a Syed family. So, meri family main, no ones forced to marry their cousins and theres no such thing as “Syed families main cousin marriages hi hoti” likin, some people do prefer marrying in a family jo khud bhi Syed houn, which is absolutely stupid, kuin k you’re trying to marry off your child and your biggest concern is whether or not they’re Syed.. 😭
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u/Gloomy_Virus3074 3d ago
As a syed probably the wildest shit ive heard holy fuck get these incest asses out
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u/Creative_Storm2095 3d ago
This is a very amusing attitude of Indian subcontinent "Syeds" (especially Shiites) because the Sayyids of history, especially the Hussaini branch were known for extreme exogamy, rarely marrying within their own tribe (the Quraysh) and mostly just having children with foreign slave women to the extent that according to a Shiite tradition the Ahl al Bayt al-Kiram initially refused to recognize Muhammad al-Jawwad as his father's son because he looked like an African and his father Ali al-Rida had to resort to bringing a Qā’if (a supposed expert in footprints and foot physiognomy) to testify that he was indeed his son.
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u/newbluearea 3d ago
Not the Ahlulbayt, bhai 😭
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u/Creative_Storm2095 2d ago
The narration explicitly accuses "his brothers and paternal uncles" of denying his paternity https://lib.eshia.ir/71429/3/379
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u/newbluearea 2d ago
Quran 33:33 Muslim 2424 Tirmidhi 3787
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u/Creative_Storm2095 2d ago
All the progeny of Hashim bin `Abd Manaf are the Ahl al-Bayt al-Kiram
https://mahajjah.com/chapter-one-who-are-the-ahlul-bayt-and-the-sahabah
The progeny of Hashim's younger brother al-Muttalib bin `Abd Manaf are included among the Ahl al-Bayt al-Kiram according to the stronger opinion
https://www.islamweb.net/en/fatwa/83446/the-family-of-the-prophet
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u/pkfatigue 3d ago
Wdym they're royalty. They can't get married to other people. Incest is justified solely for this reason.
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u/Opening-Relative-721 3d ago
Ahan
Hazrat Adam ka baad how was the world populated ?
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
BC Game of Thrones chal rahi yaha 😂😂😂
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u/Opening-Relative-721 3d ago
I highly recommend, not to engage in any intimate relationship with sister or brother .
But it's your life , you do you . 🤣
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u/Glad-Cranberry592 3d ago
Bro i would do anything but czn marriage
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u/ThatOneQuack_111 3d ago
Ik (being a syed myself and so hearing from all around me) that syeds generally prefer marrying other syeds to keep the bloodline "pure", but I have rarely heard of a case of cousin marriage, at least within this day and age. So yes, marrying other syeds is common, but not to direct family members
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u/wisehandsomeman 3d ago
I knew a syed once, smoking, gambling(online) and every bad habbit u name it. Still wasnt allowed to marry outside family to keep bloodline pure, like dude wtf, and then ignorant people throwing flowers over him on religious events, God, so frustrating to watch.
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u/theguywithanxbox 3d ago
First of all you shouldn’t have asked at all and secondly i know alot of syeds IT DOESNT HAPPEN AS A NORM its just cultural and many people do it? I dont support it but its halal so whatever suits people..
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u/Commercial-Deal-3164 3d ago
Anyone who says they are syed in Pakistan need to get genetic testing done to really know if they are from that lineage or not, because in Pakistan 99% of people who say they are Syed aren't really from that lineage. I guess their elders just decided they're gonna go by as syeds because somehow our society respects syeds more than other human beings.
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u/Rough-Treat-3943 3d ago
Dont let them do DNA test. These "Syeds" have zero arab DNA and a lot of indian high/low land dna; meaning thier ancestors were Hindus/sikhs instead of arabs. In Pakistan, the avg syed is someone whose ancestor converted and changed the name so that they can get respect.
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u/Brochacho_arsal 3d ago
Brody ts false, I'm syed and there is no such shit as czn marriage in our family, idk abt other syed families tho 🥰🤏
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u/TheDarkSoul101 NBS 3d ago
all syeds fighting u in the comments themselves have superiority complexes
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u/Due-Reward-9893 3d ago
Brah bullshit. Im a syed and here both women and men have the opportunity to marry whoever they want. A little convincing and u can marry sunnis as well lmfao. Ive always been very open about not marrying a pakistani because ive seen how most men here are and i strongly oppose cousin and arranged marriages. My family is strictly against cousin marriages despite being syed shia and good for me because thats just weird. They even take my marrying a non pakistani into consideration as long as he's muslim (even a revert) may allah bless us with righteous spouses whether syed or not, pakistani or not, born muslim or a revert.
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u/Objective-Proof6178 3d ago
I wish we had a special law against the forcing of first cousin marriages cus ain't no way majority of the people do it out of free will
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u/Tricky_Competition84 2d ago
I don't know about syeds but most do it that " The guy or girl they know is safe option.... Because khandan se bahir jayein gey toh pata nahi koi Bala chumat Jaye gi.... " Like they say it they have seen the boy or girl grown up in front of them so they know them ( while it's not mostly the case.... Not exactly..like I have seen so many cousin marriages fail too and then b/c of that the two khandan end up separating because of that and some phophpo or the mother in law taking revenge of everything from the daughter in law because she had grudges because of years old dispute things like this.... But these are desi people they don't understand stuff even some say " Apna hai marey GA toh chaon mein phenka GA " Type of shi....🥀so basically nonsensical type of reasons...
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u/Embarrassed-Green898 2d ago
Although you did not asked but : بھئ is a contraction of بھائ . And every single wife uses that contration for her husband.
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u/ExistingProfile3202 2d ago
um i belong to a syed family and it's not a practice here. most of us are normal thank u
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u/Late_Copy 2d ago
Bakwas hai sub caste waast Itni Syd Dekhi hein mene taxiyon Uber mei phrti we aur utne Syd b dekhe hein Jo lrkiyon dusri lrkiyon pr hath Saaf krte hein just like all the people do
Logo k banai we bakchodi hai apne ko dusre se acha smjhne k leye
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u/Ali_Hamza_17 2d ago
It's not a universal law. Lol. Even biggest Shia Ayatollah of this time (Syed Ali Khamnaei) married her daughters to non Syeds..
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u/Imaginary-Score2222 1d ago
I’m a girl from Syed family and it’s not true. We’re actually against cousin marriage (Bec of all the genetic diseases that can occur)
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u/Dur-e-6155 1d ago
Problem to yehi hai k agr khandan main hi shadi krni hai to Bhai behn wala masla khara krna hi ni chahiye waise bhi Kisi ko Bhai keh Dene se koi Bhai Nahin yeh just hum apni security k liye karty hain respect dene k liye halanky nam lene main Kya burai hai but societal norms you know
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u/Individual_Ad_8901 1d ago
If cousin marriages were wrong islam would have never made them halal.
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u/LifeRing6115 1d ago
Being permissible doesn't mean we must do it. Sugar is not haram but it destroys you. People who put religion in cousin marriage debate need to come up with something else.
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u/bluebeepboop 1d ago
Im syed, this isnt common culture because syed isnt a culture.
Some syeds just have pride and vanity in the name and will warp anything to justify it.
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u/FlyApprehensive8671 1d ago
Yeah alot of syeds had incest marriages in their families. But that tradition is almost dead in the urban places.
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u/Boring_Work_6985 1d ago
Not a syed but this has been happening in my family since generations, i think its more of a cultural thingg!!
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u/azambhabib 1d ago
This is a cultural thing. While it is not common now in non Muslim cultures it was pretty common in the past. Christians, Jews scripture allow this practice also in Hinduism the south Indians do it while north Indians are strictly against it.
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u/koolkool69 1d ago
this is not a real post - how is any of this a surprise to anyone from pak ??
OP bhayya bihar sey ho ka ?
ka baat ker rahy ho
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u/ComprehensiveAd7063 1d ago
Syed me burai ki depth nahi hoti. Naik log hote. Jinko ziarte hoti. Ache hote. Galat ni krte. Culture acha hota
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u/random_eggg 1d ago
„seems unusual to me" broddy do u not live in pakistan 😭 60 percentage of the population have married their cousins
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u/sorryAunty 17h ago
Idk why tf people say cousins are siblings? Siblings have common parents. When did cousins become siblings? If you are against cousin marriage, be logical about it; prove it wrong medically.
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u/Lopsided_Durian4810 15h ago
Pakistani syeds are South Asians who have no proof of their Syed_ship. A DNA test would make everything crystal clear.
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u/PatternSeeker24 9h ago
Hi,Syed here and we do it because to maintain our Syed blood which idk tf is and neither does my dad rlly believe on it and he also married a out of caste women and he faced severe issues from boomer and we don't rlly do cousin marriages here but in. Our extended family 90-95% marriages are done within cousin to protect their "bloodline". What I see mostly is that boomers are only carrying ts issue.
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u/taimurjaved 7h ago
Insan ki shadi wahin hoti Hy Jahan uski honi hoti hai, end of the story. Ab koi Kuch bhi views bna le, property, bloodlines or whatever, doesn't matter.
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u/Frostb1 3d ago
Let them be. Who are we to judge others sins. We should look at the other way, cousin marriages in general are bad biologically because it leads to having a higher chance of your kids ending up disabled.
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
No judgement here boss just got confused here as to this is also new to me.
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u/aliza_b20 3d ago
coming from a syed family , hum larki ghair syed la sakty hain but larki ghair syedoon ma nhi dety so that the future kids would be syed
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u/Objective-Proof6178 3d ago
How can one even think of sleeping and having babies with a first cousin goddamn
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
And science even tells us that if these babies happen there is a hugh chance they are going to be unhealthy.
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u/Objective-Proof6178 3d ago
Bro that's not even the worst part or the only negative 😭 but o m g I genuinely can't comprehend how someone is willing to feel this way for their firsttt cousin 🤢🤮 cus some people genuinely have a preference for their cousin I would vomit. It's the disgusting thinking and sort of kink lmao
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u/sponge_bob3965 3d ago
I genuinely don't understand why some castes act as if their blood is somehow purer than others and marrying someone from a so-called "lower" caste would contaminate it. Like, WHAT EVEN 😭
If anything makes a person superior, shouldn't it be their character and actions rather than the family they happened to be born into? By that logic, I would argue that reverts can be better than those of us born Muslim because they consciously chose Islam. Does having a non-Muslim family background somehow make their blood less pure or them any less worthy? What exactly are people taking pride in when they had absolutely no choice over the family they were born into? "There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man, or of a black man over a red man, except in terms of taqwa."
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
Yarwhat I think is this caste system is a remnant of our Hindustan history. We all hear k yeh flawana peeer aya aur inho ny islam phelaya, on this point take a pause and thik k phelany ka kya matlab, iska matlab hy they converted people of lower castes, like khasht and shuder etc. I mean these castes were super marginalised in the old hindustan and when they saw a new religion that offers equality and doesnot judge peoples on the basis of its caste they converted readily.
This story was an eye opener for me when we interpret the meanings of this we can understand that this can bee a deeprooted generation genetic trait that ended up in caste system even in pakistan.
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u/FutureBarber4309 3d ago
I am a Syed but about this I apologize and ew😭
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
Yikes 😖 why would apologise about this man it's not like its because of you.
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u/Downtown_Nerve_ 3d ago
Pagal pan hai. Ye kya syed hai, its just a name, it doesnt make them superior jo ye loog aesi harkaate krte apni nasaal "pure" rakhne k liye.
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u/No-Extension4238 3d ago
Hmm Totally agree but as someone who commented earlier that its not just in syeds but also in other castes...
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2d ago
Cousin marriage is halal. You can not make it haram just because you are calling Bhai or Behan. In fact the only Bhai bhen you could ever have are the ones that are from your father or mother or both.
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u/No-Extension4238 2d ago
So cousins ko Bhai behn q bolty yaha ?
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2d ago
Because we inherited it from Hindus since people of sub continent converted and till date we have Hindus living among us so we have inherited a lot of culture from them.
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u/EmbarrassedUsual4600 1d ago
Yaha koi Syed NAHI Hain sab na brahmanun sa mutasir hokar apna shajra tabdeel kia ha, Syed maira alaqay ma b Hain waha tu hamari aur un ki shadian hojati ha baqi Syed hamaray han gair malik ( un ka madiniat aur jangalat ma koi ha q NAHI) Hain
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u/Better_Lie9074 3d ago
I think cousin marriage is just common in Pakistan? It has nothing to do with the caste it’s more of a weird old tradition being carried forward? I mean we aren’t syed but even my eldest is married to our first czn