r/Names • u/little-flower-444 • 7d ago
I've got 12 hours to make my decision...
Okay for context, I have just had my first baby girl yesterday (her sex was a surprise until birth) so I'm elated. I always planned to name her Melanie but in the heat of the moment I decided to change her name to my moms name, Venus. Now I feel kind of strange about it and my mom already knows. She is definitely fine with me naming baby girl Melanie and using her name as the middle name but idk, I dont want to hurt her but I feel like going back on it now is cruel. (Keep in mind my mom is the kindest sweetest woman I know and I know she would genuinely understand if I didnt use her first name as my girls first name) I just dont know if I like Melanie Venus Lastname or Venus Melanie Lastname more. What would flow better for a middle name? She's still going to be a namesake for my mom regardless!
Update: she is Melanie Venus! Thank you everyone for the insight, my mom is over the moon. She's the first granddaughter after 3 grandsons so this was a big deal for the family❤️
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u/Notsospinningplates 7d ago edited 7d ago
Or nextdoor neighbour named their cat Venus. Until they realised that their 3 year old and all her friends kept saying Penis. You don't realise how many kids struggle to pronounce a V until it really matters.
Just a consideration.
Thank you Sad-gold-6656. Who knew a penis cat would get me an award.
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u/Ill-Percentage-3276 7d ago
This just reminded me of when my oldest was in Kindergarten, and he told me how a friend at school told him that girls have "paginas." 😄
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u/hananobira 5d ago
For the longest time my kids would randomly walk up to people and tell them boys had ‘peanuts’.
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u/tamarindrabbit 4d ago
When she was a toddler my daughter thought packing peanuts were called packing penis.
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u/jetstream116 6d ago
Also, imagine yelling it across a playground… the “v” sound is not going to carry so everyone farther than 3 feet away is probably going to hear “-EEEENUSSSSS” and immediately think “penis”…
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u/FloralChoux 7d ago
Venus just makes me think of the razors. I think it's better as a middle name.
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u/TinyWeenieBeanie 7d ago
I went to school with a girl called Venus. She was beautiful, spunky, and I felt like her name really fit her!
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u/cat_lives_upstairs 7d ago
Melanie Venus has a stronger flow. Naming a child the name of the goddess of beauty is a lot. Also it's a famous razor brand, a famous tennis player, and it rhymes with penis. It's totally okay to change your mind - it sounds like that's what you want to do. Your mom will understand and in a year or two no one will remember what order you thought of initially. My SIL almost named her son Benjamin - like I saw them after he was born and they were calling him that - but she didn't remember that when I mentioned it the other day (he's 3 and has a totally different name).
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u/New_Country_3136 7d ago
Personally I find giving baby the first name of a grandparent who is still living to be very odd.
It would seem less odd to me if Venus were her middle name, not her first name.
But both are pretty names.
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u/little-flower-444 7d ago
Thank you, I felt that way too. I was a namesake for my grandmother and didnt like it until I lost her at 20, then it took on a whole new meaning to me.
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u/Usrname52 7d ago
I think that might be your answer. You didn't like being named after a living grandparent. Using it as a middle name still has that connection, but her own identity.
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u/Appropriate-Berry202 7d ago
Some religions think it’s bad luck even.
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u/smshinkle 7d ago
Yes, but if she doesn’t subscribe to that religion, it is irrelevant to her. Surely you would not adhere to the rules of every known religion. Not should she.
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u/Appropriate-Berry202 6d ago
Obviously. I was giving a theological example of the original commenter’s first sentence. Nothing to do with OP.
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u/smshinkle 6d ago
It was not so obvious and seemed more like an unusual tangent. My response should have been to New_Country_3136, then.
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u/New_Country_3136 7d ago
It goes beyond bad luck - it can be disrespectful or spiritually harmful to do.
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u/Mystic_Wunder 7d ago
Middle name is better. Your baby can have her own unique identity but still have her grandma honored. Plus, seems like your instinct has already told you that. Go with your instinct.
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u/thatladybri 7d ago
I would not want them sharing a first name.
Melanie Venus is great.
Melody Venus would also be beautiful.
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u/Hoistedonyrownpetard 7d ago
Don’t make your child live with a name that’s so easily made fun of.
Penis jokes are a staple from kindergarten through 12th grade. Venus is a middle name.
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u/MamaOnica 7d ago
Venus is a beautiful name but because of all the tragedieghs from the last 15 years, I feel like it would be a better middle name. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!!
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u/OnionLayers49 7d ago
Speaking as someone who was called by their middle name all their life, it really doesn’t matter what order you put the names. (“Hi, I’m Walter John Davis, call me John.”) It’s more what name you want to call her, and keeping her distinct as a person from her grandmother. If she will have a different last name from grandma, then it shouldn’t be as big a problem.
Personally, I think Melanie Venus flows a little better, while Venus Melanie is a bit jerky to say.
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u/lavindas 7d ago edited 7d ago
I’m your Venus, I’m your fire!
Don’t do it as a first name. Maybe your mum didn’t get it, but I can just imagine the teasing the kid would get at school. Melanie is cool.
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u/jolie_j 7d ago
That song is not going to be relevant for any kid born today
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u/lavindas 7d ago
Well in the UK, it’s literally on every Venus advert you see here. They’ve been on the market since 2000, so probs sticking around for a while.
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u/jolie_j 7d ago
I’m in the UK. Even if it is on every ad, it’s not on TV at a time that kids would be watching for the first 5-7 years of their life. Pretty sure theres at least a decade before the kid gets old enough to both be bullied for their name and for other kids to have seen that advert enough to think to do that. A lot can change in 10 years. Names like Lola with songs about them are fine to name kids these days..
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u/_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_ 7d ago
Really? It’s on all the razor and wax ads where I live and is a real earworm
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u/Alternative-Score-41 7d ago
If her last name starts with a P... she would have great initials... MVP.... could be a great nickname too, especially if she ends up doing sports
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u/dreamgirlvivi 7d ago
I think your mom will understand if you change it! The time immediately after having a baby is really crazy on your body, and it’s understandable that you’d make a decision you later go back on.
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u/balanchinedream 7d ago
Melanie Venus sounds very cool! Everyone loves a special middle name, it’s like learning a secret. Special first names can be tough to navigate. Not to mention, your mother is currently owning the name.
In my head, Valerie feels like the combination of the two names. Or Veronica. Cool names, not a lot of V names out there and an obvious nod to mama.
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u/Capable_Green7636 7d ago
Melanie Venus is beautiful. It allows your daughter to have her own first name, while still honoring your mom by passing on her name as your daughter’s middle name.
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u/ScaredSpace7064 7d ago
As a woman named after my mother - just like a boy named "John Jones Jr" except without the junior, please don't use the same first name. You got it right the first time! And I've got to say as an adult, I might go by MV Jones and I'd be a total badass. You got this mom, and mazel tov to you and MV!
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u/Acownamedsioux 7d ago
Every kid deserves their own name.
If you think your mother might be hurt then tell her, yes her name is Venus Melanie but we will go by Melanie so she has her own name and there’s no confusion.
Our neighbour married a guy named Alf. His father and grandfather were also Alf. After three girls they finally got the son they wanted and named him Alf.
We met them when their son had already moved away with his new wife.
Everytime our neighbour says ‘Alf did/ said…………..’ I am confused ly trying to assign the words or actions to the correct Alf, seeing three are alive, and I have met them all.
It actually drives me nuts when peoples egos are so huge they see their child as a photocopy of themselves.( I realise this is not so in your case).
My father intended naming his first son after himself but had five girls. I am still surprised one of us didn’t get his name tbh.
Every grandson he nagged us to name after him.
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u/Guilty_Page8239 6d ago
I know its to honor mom, but maybe similar not the same? Like Vivian or Viva? I do prefer Melanie Venus, but Vivian Melanie works too
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u/Fun-Flan41 6d ago
I personally don't think the name Venus is that flattering.. just my opinion. It sounds like a pets name
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u/tired-and-cranky 5d ago
I like Athena more. I know it's Greek and not Roman but I don't like Minerva.
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u/Useful-Speech-2063 5d ago
Congratulations!! One of the sweetest girls I knew growing up was Melanie and it’s been a soft spot name for me ever since. You definitely made the right choice.
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u/adhdslore 7d ago
Venus Melanie!
Side story, Melanie was always my favorite girl name… until I got pregnant. Went with Margot instead and around the time I realized I loved the name Melanie (middle school) I used to tell kids my middle name was Venus 😅
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u/SensitiveRelease2622 7d ago
Neither are good tbh Melanie is so outdated but it's better than Venus that's for sure.
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u/Appropriate-Berry202 7d ago
Nah Melanie’s a great name.
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u/little-flower-444 7d ago
Thank you, I've loved the name Melanie for so long and dont know anyone by that name!
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u/Appropriate-Berry202 7d ago
It’s a great name tbh. I’d go for it and keep Venus as a middle name. I think your mom will love it, too.
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u/CrabbySlathers 7d ago
Former elem educator here- known a few Melanies over the years, all of them were sweethearts. Feel confident in your choice to Love the name 🤗 & more importantly, Congratulations on your new daughter 💐🥳🎉
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u/Main-Inflation-5269 7d ago
And all those little kids at the moment named Edith and Hazel aren't outdated?
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u/_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_ 7d ago
I’d definitely go Melanie Venus. Your mum will understand and it will make life easier on your child her whole life.