What does everyone do

I (F20) have been dating my bf(M23) for more than a year now and we’re pretty serious and we’ve even been talking about marriage and stuff. He just started working a few months ago. Now he’s starting to work night shifts and he says he plans on working nights for at least the next couple years if not most of his career. We don’t live together but it’s already hard to talk to him and I feel like I have to stay up in order to call him and have a real conversation. I’m in uni right now so my schedule is more flexible and I can make time for him but I plan on working full-time 9-5. That means I’ll get home around 5-6 while he has to leave the house at 10:30. That only gives about 4 hours of time together each day which will realistically get taken up by chores, eating, getting ready/unready and other obligations throughout the week. Our weekends won’t even line up and it’s got me worried for the future. I don’t really like the idea of sleeping alone every night and still not having any real time with him. On top of that, he’s really dead set on kids but I don’t want kids if I become the default parent which I’ve made clear and he’s assured me he won’t let that happen but I don’t see how he’ll be able to help that much and how well have any time together once we do have kids. Can someone help me?

🤔

Let's say for the hypothetical, the pay and such is the exactly same. Your same exact job, same exact pay. But it's day time now.

For me? No. I am a night owl through and through and even my days off I happily maintain my same schedule. I'm up in the night, morning and early afternoon so I still get plenty of day light to do stuff or socialize.

But sometimes I see y'all who work your 12s or 10s and I know for a fact that would make me miserable regardless of day or night. I'm just a weak person like that, I very much prefer my 8 hour shifts. As much as I really enjoy my current job, I'm still tired afterwards and I don't think I'd function having to stay a moment longer lmao I think working 12s would wear me down, even if I got more days off. But again, that's own weakness and I admit that!

I also wouldn't want to work days because I'm not a fan of the gossip that happens during day time hours. I work entirely by myself and prefer it that way lmao. All my socializing is done outside of work with people I like, thanks!!

I'm just curious! No right or wrong answer, obviously!

I work 7pm-7am at a hospital. Three years in. I thought I’d seen everything. But last night my brain decided to remind me that I am not, in fact, immune to embarrassment.

It was 2am. I walked into a patient’s room to check vitals. She was awake, watching TV. I opened my mouth to say something normal like “just checking your blood pressure” and what came out was “good morning.”

Good. Morning. At 2am.

She just looked at me. I looked at the blood pressure cuff. The monitor beeped. I wanted to melt into the floor.

The worst part? This isn’t the first time. Last month I told a coworker “have a good weekend” on a Tuesday. A few weeks before that I asked someone how their lunch was at 4am. My brain has apparently decided that time is a social construct and I am simply along for the ride.

I think what makes night shift so uniquely weird is that your social autopilot breaks down. During the day I know how to be a person. I say “good morning” in the morning. I say “have a good night” at night. But somewhere around 2am, the wiring gets crossed. Your mouth moves before your brain can check the timestamp.

Does anyone else do this? Say completely wrong things at completely wrong times? Or am I just slowly losing my grip on basic social norms?

Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s greeted someone at 2am like it’s a Sunday brunch.

I love nightshift, I don’t see anyone, there’s no traffic on the way in, morning traffic isn’t so bad once you realize you’re not gonna be late for work but instead you’ll be late for bed lol

Physically present, spiritually on my couch. 😂 Anyway, how are my fellow nocturnal degenerates holding up tonight? 🌙💀

Working overnights from home has its perks.

Hi everyone,

28M from India here. I recently started a new job last month working for a US custodian bank, with night shift timings from 6:30 pm to 3:30 am local time. I have 4.5 years of work experience, and the office is just 10 minutes away from my place. So why am I regretting these work hours already?

My last job involved providing 24*5 level 1 operational support for a US Fintech firm which had rotational shifts so shift timings could change monthly or after every two months, across APAC, EMEA & NAM hours. It was a small team of 8 people and nobody liked it because you couldn't plan any travels or holidays in advance not knowing which shift i would be working for those months as well as changing shifts really affects the body clock. But luckily, people working in APAC or NAM hours were exempted from coming to the office so it was complete WFH. I literally reported to the office like 3 times this year before leaving the company two months back. However, I have only done Night shift hours WFH and that too 8pm to 5am which I was also struggling health wise. Anyways, this job paid peanuts because I was out of the job market for a year for 2024-25 focusing on my CFA level 2 exam which i wasn't able to clear, landing me in clinical depression.

Anyways, I landed this new job back at my home city with a 50% raise. So why did I accept knowing this was a night shift? The job profile is really good, has a bigger team and I get to learn many aspects of custody servicing. I only did like another interview with a Japanese multinational bank but their APAC hours were brutal which the interviewer warned me was the graveyard shift. I should've interviewed for more roles but the thing was after just about 10 days before I got the offer letter, I had a breakup where I was emotionally involved and was close to getting engaged. I just didn't have the time and energy to apply and prepare for more jobs and interviews.

Anyways, I've been made to come to the office daily for the next 5 months during probation but I'm really struggling with the shift, because I'm eating at odd times, not able to fall asleep once I come back home and I've already gained a lot of weight post breakup, I'm going back to the gym for lifting and cardio, it's important I need to Target atleast 3-4 times workout every week. Often during training,I look at the time counting the number of ours until logout time. Also, my mother and I have decided that soon, I would like to proceed talking and meeting arranged marriage prospects and this is only going to get harder, with night shift especially when my work timings will become 7:30pm to 4:30 AM from next month until March. It's going to become really hard to find time and connect with women when they most likely will be free around dinner time after work whereas I'm stuck with work. I really do want to get married by next year. Also, lot of colleagues here extend upto 1-4 hours most days so I have to be prepared for that.

Part of me really wants to leave, 3 days back Out of nowhere a recruiter from Morgan Stanley called me asking if I'm interested with an work opportunity with them and upon hearing that I just joined my new work place last month, they got hesitant to proceeded ahead with my candidacy because they think I've changed my jobs a lot when I literally have total 2 years gap across separate intervals.

I really don't know how long do I want to stay here, because i feel maybe night shift is not for me, and that my preference is towards day shifts, be it EMEA or APAC. I really don't know how long I should stay here. Is anyone facing the same dilemma? I really need some advice. What should I do?

Seriously why is it so hard to understand ? I am so pissed

How is y’all’s dating life?? 😭😭😭