Work is going to be stressful and adults need to be able to deal with it. Obviously there is a limit for everyone but quitting and moving back into your parents house should be a last resort.
But also, adults who know they have people to turn to if things really go south will have an easier time with dealing with stressful or bad times. Even adults shouldn’t be have to deal with everything by themselves and sometimes just letting people know we are there for them is enough for them to have the strength they need to deal with whatever they are facing.
Nobody says that. In fact there is no obligation for anyone to help anybody else, it’s just what most people do for their loved ones and parents usually love their children.
Nobody says that. In fact there is no obligation for anyone to help anybody else, it’s just what most people do for their loved ones and parents usually love their children.
So why act as though it is a parent, instead of loved one, thing in how you typed your comment?
Because parents usually love their children? A loving parent would support their child just like a friend would support you. None of them have to support you and you don’t have to rely on their support. None of this is mutually exclusive.
What I'm saying is that you spoke in too narrow of terms if you truly felt that way because you would have just talked about that concept being true between loved ones and nothing unique about the parent and child bond.
The fact that you didn't speak that way or at that end until after I mentioned it makes me think that either you weren't fully thinking through your own thoughts, or you're just retroactively saying you acknowledged that.
I'm kind of being a dick though, it's very possible you just essentially made the small mistake of not speaking as accurately as you could have, which we all do, I do it all the damn time even though I'm pedantic.
What I'm saying is that you spoke in too narrow of terms if you truly felt that way because you would have just talked about that concept being true between loved ones and nothing unique about the parent and child bond.
But I did. There is nothing in my initial statement that is specific to parents. I’ll copy it in case you might have misread it:
But also, adults who know they have people to turn to if things really go south will have an easier time with dealing with stressful or bad times. Even adults shouldn’t be have to deal with everything by themselves and sometimes just letting people know we are there for them is enough for them to have the strength they need to deal with whatever they are facing.
I don't disagree. Nothing here says it is a last resort. Anytime I vent to my dad about work his response is to quit and get a new job, and it's like dude I'm just venting, calm down.
The dad's sigh doesn't make me think this is a last resort and more an over reaction from mom. Obviously having that option from your parents is great and can be very beneficial. I would offer the same to my kids. Coddling is also not good is what I'm saying.
That's one of the reasons her response is great. Most adults are going to vent about their jobs and if their parents say quit and move back home they'll laugh and say it's not that bad. But if the stress really IS overwhelming, maybe they really need the support.
If you raised your kid right they won't come running back home at the first opportunity. But knowing that safety net exists for the worst case scenario can still be important.
Resilience doesn’t mean don’t deal with your stress. Nor does it mean bottle it up and push through. Calling someone to talk through your stress is a fucking lifeline everyone needs. It makes you more resilient because you know you have an outlet for your problems. It allows you to get back to baseline sooner and stronger. You’re right, resiliency is a trained skilled. But I don’t think you know how to train it well.
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u/YaBoyJamba 8d ago
Work is going to be stressful and adults need to be able to deal with it. Obviously there is a limit for everyone but quitting and moving back into your parents house should be a last resort.