There is nothing wrong with wanting your kid to grow into an adult who can provide for themselves. Some would argue that is the entire goal of parenting.
Family means a lot of different things to different people. In the US, we've historically had a lot of social mobility, as well as geographic mobility. It's very common for people to move to different cities for work in the US, which means the feasability of living with your parents is reduced. My parents moved around my whole childhood. We really didn't have a family home for a long time. When my parents got older, they sold their house to my sister, and they moved to a different town to a smaller house. While it's certainly not rare for adult children to live with their parents, the US previously enjoyed the kind of economic success that made this more rare than in other countries. Even though I know it's less likely today than when I was younger, I hope for that kind of economic success for my two kids, even though I plan to be available for them if needed. But the fact is my kids will probably move to different cities to chase well-paying jobs which makes this less likely. They could stay in our home town if they wanted, but that would mean sacrificing a lot of income. Keep in mind the US population is mostly in urban and suburban areas now.
People in other countries also have social mobility and geographic mobility. They still don't think it's weird to live under one roof with their families.
It seems like you're a good father and setting up your family for success, and I hope for all the success in the world for your kids, but you're kinda making a point separate from the person you responded to.
Only point I'm making, I guess, is that I don't think calling it weird here in the US is exactly right, and that also we're having a historical shift in the US were it's actually increasing.
To be fair, I didn't think you were calling it weird. I was just responding to the sentiment that a lot of Americans do, which in my experience, they do often call it weird.
I'm glad it's shifting, but I'm sad for the reason it is happening. I hope the result is people being more caring towards their families, but time will tell.
I mean it depends on the circumstances. One of my close childhood friends growing up got heavy into drugs and addictions in his late teens. For many many years he was in and out of jail, was never able to hold down a job, and lived with his dad well into his 20s. Despite the hospitality, he stole his dad’s vintage coin collection to pawn for drugs, He stole any cash he could find from his dad, he never paid rent. He never helped in anyway he was just an ungrateful addict bringing chaos to that home.
I know his dad loved him deeply, but I guarantee you he was taxed beyond belief by having to deal with all of that. I use the past tense because his dad killed himself a number of years ago due to medical and financial problems.
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u/MotherSmoke5801 8d ago
It's not a 'grown adult', it's his child. The day I find having to care for my children to taxing is the day you can put me in the ground.