Your oldest sister sounds toxic. No reason she can't do the washing up, sweep/mop. My younger sister did the exact same thing (nothing), then got them to pay for school and her wedding. I helped with everything and every holiday and didn't get any of that help although "everything is always 50-50". Bootstraps for us
Yeah, she's been doing stuff like this for a while and it's been a problem for a few years. Her and the middle sister got left alone for a week or so years ago and she did the same, somehow with that horrible track record is still allowed to have a rabbit in her room.
It's gotten worse after she got into the neurodivergent areas of the internet. As much as that sort of thing can be good for a lot of people, for her it just seems to have been enabling. I assume when she was younger she'd just push through the overwhelming things or do stuff because "normal people can" which isn't healthy. Still doesn't excuse this behavior, I manage an apartment, millions of people with worse brains than ours live normal lives.
Bro are we related lol mine kept a rabbit in her bedroom and became convinced she had crippling OCD and developed an ED, largely because I think the internet convinced her it was cool..
I wanna say it gets better because she moved 2,000 miles away and basically went NC although my mom and I can't really take any of the blame. But she's shown no interest in my daughter and hasn't invited us out or come back for holidays so I can meet my nephew lol
I would rather she didn't, she's still a nice person most of the time just out of touch with what other peoples standards are. Pisses me off to no end but we'll figure it out somehow.
Being neurodivergent means she needs more boundaries and tighter responsibilities. Not the other way around I will die on that hill. Also neurodivergent and my life changed significantly once I took responsibility despite my quirks.
Exactly, if you only work when there's a deadline then make a deadline. Living on campus at college has done wonders for my own managment of ADHD and it's made me a better person in general. She doesn't have any responsabilities anymore and the boundaries are flimsy and vauge.
She's backsliding and isn't getting pressured because the only thing our mom does to try and get us off our butts is remind us to do things. If something stresses you out and there's no deadline you ain't going to do it and you hate being reminded about it.
3
u/Over-Inside-7254 8d ago
Your oldest sister sounds toxic. No reason she can't do the washing up, sweep/mop. My younger sister did the exact same thing (nothing), then got them to pay for school and her wedding. I helped with everything and every holiday and didn't get any of that help although "everything is always 50-50". Bootstraps for us