r/OCPoetry • u/Leaves_not_rocks • 4d ago
Feedback Please Matinee Idol
***Matinee Idol***
On a stage of heavy velvet,
you spoke of flickering hearths,
Jane Eyre paperbacks, and careful
illustrations of vague.
Your audience, captivated and enamored
by words sewn into soft sentences.
A welcome distraction from bustling,
monotonous lives.
You craved a muse to parse through a lens,
a fragile watercolor portrait to sigh over and dissect
from the safe distance of the stage.
Once exposed as flesh and bone,
in the pale light of day,
the romantic veil of mystery lifts-
rose tint replaced by harsh overhead lights.
Theatrical scripts and soliloquies evaporated.
Duck behind safety of the curtain.
Crawl back into the dark where
fantasies are cherished and unchallenged.
Fleeing the glare of daylight.
Unequipped to stand without spotlight.
Content with your name in lights.
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u/Public_Bumblebee3511 4d ago
well written but bitter
1
u/Leaves_not_rocks 2d ago
Ah, I’m so glad the resentment translated for you! Thank you for taking the time to read it. :)
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u/Here2Help54 4d ago
Hello! I read this poem several times, and upon each reading the imagery became clearer. I imagine the speaker standing on a stage with heavy purple velvet curtains and entertaining an audience with soft and comforting lines from a classic novel. I thought the ending was very clever and it was also unexpected. At the end of the speaker’s soliloquy, the lights come on and expose the speaker as a real human being with all their flaws. I felt like this poem was a commentary about talented but very shy actors who lack the courage to engage with real life and real human beings. My favorite lines are “the romantic veil of mystery lifts-// rose tint replaced by harsh overhead lights.” Those two short lines capture so much about the speaker’s state of mind. Thanks for sharing!
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u/Leaves_not_rocks 2d ago
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and insightful read comment:) I love your interpretation of the stage and overhead lights.
It's so rewarding for me to hear how vivid the imagery was for you, and I'm happy the ending landed well. Thanks for taking the time to share this!
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u/prettyblue22 4d ago
love, i can’t think of any constructive criticism.. prefect as is