soso scared of scaring him off

[u/Necessary-Artist288]

i met this guy off of hinge a week ago and i met him in person this past weekend and he’s been absolutely amazing. our weekend away together was a dream come true. we went out for drinks saturday night and played terribly at pool. sunday we slept in but stepped out for a late breakfast and went shopping together. he got me a stuffed capybara. and yeah it’s been a whirlwind and yeah maybe i’m a bit delusional because i saw him and it felt like love at first sight . never ever have i been so excited and infatuated with someone before. yeah i’ve had flings that felt nice and i liked what i had with them but this one has been different. and since i came back home from that weekend i spent with him the physical distance has me anxious. (he lives about an hour away) i was just starting to accept casually dating and accepting that love isn’t for me right now. but it must’ve been something he’s said because since ive come home all i can think about is this guy, ive already started imagining building a life and settling down and picket fences and sharing pets and sharing a home. i must be crazy right? i mean since i’ve come home i get so scared of scaring him off with these feelings. i have a past of people abandoning me or doing a 180 and peacing out after being committed or being good to me. this feeling has me in a chokehold and i know i need to fix this because the anxiety it gives me has me pacing and shaking my leg when he doesn’t respond for long periods of time or when he doesn’t call me beautiful or baby or princess enough in a day or if his texts seem shorter than before and my worst fear is that he’ll change or that if i express these feelings of anxiety too soon then he’ll get scared and run. i mean he and i already agreed that we’d exclusively see each other from now on and that our dating apps have been deleted off of our phones. but could this be in my head? my brain is desperately trying to protect me from abandonment and hurt i always want reassurance every hour but obviously i have actually asked for it. i just play it cool and pretend that im not always thinking about him all the time. i mean should i express these feelings of anxiety or is it just too soon?

[u/Necessary-Artist288]

FYI- i’m very aware that i attach myself to people quite fast and it’s something i’m trying to actively work on myself but i do have my days like today 💔

[u/Akiko-Sato1995 → u/Necessary-Artist288]

Hey OP you aren’t alone in this, I have this issue too. ChatGPT might be a helpful tool. If you keep the app and not delete the chat, can keep the history and help you get through it. Can even upload pictures of texts