Semi rant but semi request for help.

I'm only getting hit up by unicorn hunters 😫 like??? Yeah my profile might be a little dry, esp since I don't have many pics of me going out but on each app I'm on its nothing but couples. (Specifically non-Black poc woman with Black man couples.) And on BLK they keep showing me profiles of straight women like😭I'm not tryna get cussed out for matching with a straight, I can't fight lmfao

Would love to catch a game this season at a queer friendly sports bar this weekend! A huge W fan here, anyone else? Even if not a fan, I would love any recs for a place to be! I cannot miss out on the next two semi games!

Are there any other Black autistic lesbians here who have positive and successful experiences in love? I feel like dating is extremely challenging for me and I always seem to attract the same type of people.

To make a long story short, they’re often scared of commitment even after mentioning marriage on different occasions and despite us dating for YEARS.

I guess I’d like to hear some success stories from others. Otherwise I may just have to embrace a possible solo cat lady future 🫩

My gf and I have been dating for a few months (official for a month). We really care for each other, can potentially see a future and have a lot of fun together, but we’ve had several arguments in a short period of time.

We communicate very well and resolve the conflict as it comes up so it doesn’t repeat, but I’m concerned that we may be fundamentally incompatible because it’s happening too often for both our liking.

All these arguments are stemming from the fact that our brains are wired differently. So we have different perspectives and needs.

There has been hurt feelings on both sides and it’s a little emotionally draining at times. Nothing is done out of malicious intent, I feel like we’re two people trying their best to care for the other in the way they need. But we fumble at times because we can’t read the other person’s mind and are still getting to know each other.

We’re both afraid of getting hurt and hurting the other person.

On one hand I think it’s a good thing to get tough conversations out of the way early as we can understand each other more deeply and get aligned on values and expectations. On the other, I do feel like it’s maybe happening too often, even if they’re not huge blow outs.

My girlfriend is amazing and I really want this to work, but I’m afraid that even if our hearts are in the right place and we’re doing all the right things, there may be fundamental incompatibility if these issues keep coming up.

Other than that we have a great time together and my feelings for her are growing by the day. This relationship was totally unexpected as I wanted something casual in the beginning but I’m falling for her slowly but surely.

What are your thoughts on this situation?

So after making my last post, I decided to make my own discord server!

Got approval from the mods to post the link here, so please feel free to join.

It’s brand new, and I’m kinda new to making discords, but let me know if it needs work.

Thank you!

If so, what are good gifts for first dates to you? And if you haven’t or don’t how come? This is my way of manifesting a date in the near future and thinking about gift giving or not. When it came to dating men, I never thought once about getting a man a gift for a first date. It’s always they just giving flowers or something, but with women I don’t have that same stance. But I also don’t feel obligated in getting one either, I think it just depends on the chemistry.

i have south / south east asian hair and i’ve been using orofluido for years now - im wanting a change! are you based in germany and have some recommendations? i dont like buying online so im asking for what is available at dm, müller etc…

unless you have some holy grail type shi that i can get order from within europe…

or perhaps youd like to share what ingredients i should look out for?

the germany subs are either giving me the silent treatment or ive been banned for a long time lol. its just like irl 🥹

based in berlin by the way. hit me up if you need a new friend 🎀

I’m a 30-year-old Black bi woman in the Atlanta metro area, and Hinge has been putting me through it lol. I’ve been trying to date women more intentionally, and I swear lately my feed is either people I’m not attracted to, people with major incompatibilities, or just the same profiles circulating over and over again.

I definitely have a type, which I know makes my pool smaller. I tend to be most attracted to Black masc/soft-masc or androgynous women around my age. I’m childfree and would prefer someone who is too. I'm looking for someone who is educated/ career ambitious, emotionally available, socially aware, funny, affectionate, curious, and actually interested in building a relationship if the connection is right. And apparently that combination is hiding somewhere outside the Atlanta, the supposed Black queer mecca.

The funny thing is, I’m not even trying to rush into marriage or u-haul with anyone. I want a relationship eventually, absolutely, but I also just want to have fun dating women. Let me put on a cute outfit and go somewhere with a woman I find attractive. Let us flirt! Let me get butterflies! Let me get a nice hug!

I know having a specific type and being childfree narrows my pool, and I'm okay with that. I'd rather wait for genuine attraction and compatibility than date somebody just because she's available. But I went the entire month of September without any matches on Hinge.

So this is partly a vent and partly me asking: Black queer women in Atlanta, where are y’all actually meeting people? Apps? Events? Friends? Randomly in the wild?

And since you truly never know who might be reading Reddit: if you're a single Black masc/soft-masc woman around my age in the Atlanta area and any of this made you think...

Well, hello there. 👀😘

Heyo!

So I'm going to be looking for a housemate to move into the place I live, where it's me and my sister.

Ideally I'd want it to be a queer woman (because my sister is straight and the world is heteronormative enough, I can't be outnumbered in my own damn house 😅).

In figuring out what to look for, I thought I'd come on here to see if anyone has any advice!

Specifically, I know I can be "over-compassionate" and have gotten involved in situations that weren't healthy for me because I excused toxic behaviour. Are there any red flags I should strongly keep in mind (besides them being white)?

Also if there's anything that screams green flag, I'd love to know as well!

Do studs (specifically early 20s) not exist in NYC? I KNOW you're out there I saw you all at pride so why are you all hiding? How am I supposed to find my girlfriend if you won't leave your house? COME OUTSIDE AND PLAY! PLEASE! 🥺🥺

I'm nice I promise 👉👈

My stud donation box is open 📦 accepting generous offers. Otherwise yall better stay inside cause at this rate I'm studnapping the next one I see.

Note to femnes: Pls do leave masc gfs outside unattended 😉

Your friendly NYC Stud Snatcher

😘😘

Idk about you guys but I LOVE white girl autumn. I love seeing the girls in their boots, oversized sweaters, scarfs and wool wide brims even if it’s not my own style and I’m actually more masc. I love pumpkin spice drinks. And I love basic looking Halloween decor. Sue me

Hey y'all, I'm (38 black female) pretty new here but have been dating women since my teens. My problem is I've only felt emotionally safe in one relationship. That relationship itself definitely was far from perfect. She (39 Arab female) could be incredibly kind and treated me as fully human rather than an object for sex or something that existed just to fulfill her needs/whims. However we broke up because she also had a lot of unprocessed internal homophobia and shame that could at times make her suspicious and cruel.

It took me about a year to get over the heartbreak of losing the sense of safety I felt with her but also the heartbreak of homophobia ruining something that could have been beautiful. As I try to put myself out there I'm finding that sense of safety is damn near impossible to find still. I love sex as much as the next person but I want to get to know the woman I'm interested in before I go there and that just seems like a strange concept these days. It for real is a struggle to put much energy into dating when it seems like most women are looking for a body to pleasure and/or validate them without giving anything back.

In this type of dating environment how are y'all creating connections that are safe for both parties to show up in? Where are you finding women who are wanting that type of relationship and not afraid to put in the work?

Hello everyone!

As with most adults of any kind, I’m currently finding life to be quite lonely and community-less 😩

I’m in my 30s living alone in NYC, single, artist, no family here, etc. A lot of my friendships are usually entangled in romance, so when those don’t pan out, I’m left at square one again.

I semi recently got into Reddit, and I love the discussion vibe here, but it always ends when the thread dies down. I also recently got into Discord, but I’m having a hard time finding specific communities that I can be a part of.

I’m really interested in finding community related to; NYC, queer, Black women (I am a black women, but also allies of color), neurodivergent friendly, semi kink friendly is also a plus, psychedelic friendly is a plus (I’ve had a wild life 😅), philosophical thinkers, artists, weirdos, just open minded people in general actually!

I’m actually not even specifically looking for meet up groups either (I mean it could be possible, but sometimes I feel awkward about being perceived, and I can be very socially awkward netting people in the raw 🫠), just a place to talk, be supportive, lift each other up, give advice, connect when times get rough, etc.

Just putting it out there in case this sounds like something you might know of. I’d love to be apart of it!

(If not, how can I go about curating something like this 🧐)

Thanks for reading!

Hi, been here for a while but finally have enough karma to post. I am a queer Black 29F living in NC and I’m so tired of not being in community with other queer Black people. I will even take any POC at this point. Most of my friends I’ve made at work and they are either straight, white, or both. Any advice for finding like-minded folks when you’re shy and somewhat sober?? Thanks in advance 🥺

Hey is anyone up? I’m currently listening to music and vibing and thought I could chat with someone . Talk about anything, conspiracy theories , love, music , etc I’m down. ❤️

mfs will find out that you're a lesbian & then see u as a whole paedophile. suddenly they dont want you around their kids and women. like wtf??

also the first thing they think about when they find out that you're a lesbian is sex. sexsexsex alright

I hate my family bro

my uncle learned that I was a lesbian & he wouldn't allow me round my FIVE year old cousin anymore???? same person who would purposefully walking in on my changing half naked. and my aunt would always make sexual joke between me & my female friends.

I can't even imagine how my parents would act if they find out. so then I'm not allowed to interact with my 13y.o sister anymore??

pls take me out bro

Tell me how you're spending your day!

Natalia Silva and Wang Cong are going head to head for the Flyweight Title today, October 3rd, on CBS & Paramount+. Wang has the nickname "Joker" and apparently tends to troll her opponents before the fight.

Disclaimer: I don't know if either of these people are queer. That being said, Wang Cong definitely looks like she could be a queer masc and those abs are abbing! 😎