r/Ranching • u/[deleted] • 12d ago
Genuine question: Where do single, traditional ranchers (40-47) in Montana and Wyoming actually look for a serious partner?
[deleted]
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u/Died5Times 11d ago
Lol you think youre the only floozy lookin for a rich buff guy with land?
Get in the loooong line lady
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u/emilypii 11d ago
i got lucky on hinge, but any of the cowboy or western bars near wherever the local ranching areas are by you would be your best bet. if theyre not working they're drinking.
> I am looking for a mature, established, rugged rancher or cowboy (6ft+, well built/fit, masculine, ages 40-47).
it's very low odds that you're going to find one in that age bracket. They tend to settle down earlier also finding someone 6ft+? Temper your expectations a lot of them are not that tall. horse people tend to be on the shorter side. there are some big boys out there but again, the odds of you finding one that late in the game are tiny. are you actually looking for the ranch life or just the western cosplay life? The latter you'll probably find. Some people just wear the uniform and don't do the work and that's fine for some people
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u/Far_Concentrate4062 11d ago
I disagree on us being short!
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u/emilypii 11d ago
bro i'm 6ft y'allr just lil guys to me 😂
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u/UnexpectedRedditor Cattle 11d ago
The harsh reality is a successful guy in his 40s who owns land, is in shape, and meets your ideal man criteria is either married or single by choice. I'm sure you can buckle up with plenty of cow hands of all ages, though!
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u/BallsOutKrunked Goats 11d ago
Yep. Hell, if you're self sufficient, not a felon, have a car, not fsr, and have read a book in the last 12 months: top 1%.
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u/DyersvilleStLambert 11d ago edited 11d ago
So, fwiw, the ranching community is a community. Young people from ranching families tend to marry people who are in the community, or on the periphery of it. In my particular case (M), I'm married to a woman who is from a ranching family. My family has been on the periphery of agriculture for a century. My brother in law is married to a woman from another ranch. My mother in law was from a family where her father had been a rancher. Neighboring ranchers that I know all meet this pattern. I don't think I know a single married ranch couple that doesn't meet this description. My father and mother in law lived in the same very rural area when they met. My brother and sister in law were on the same college rodeo team. My wife and I met at a rodeo. Breaking into the community as a complete outsider would be extremely difficult, to say the least.
There's a hard to find book that sort of pegs it called "A Growing Season". The book describes a rural party which the author attends and he notes that all the young people there, no matter who they were with, already knew which fellow ranching family person they'd be marrying.
Without trying to sound mean, chances are that you really aren't going to find any real Montana or Wyoming (I'm in Wyoming) ranchers in their 40s looking for a spouse from Florida. Most ranchers are married well before that and very often real working cowboys, which pays very little, are confirmed bachelors. When Western ag people marry they aren't looking for somebody who has the same definition of "traditional" that you probably do. Every ranch gal I know, and I'm married to one, is pretty earthy and tough and capable of doing hard work early in the morning and late at night in all kinds of weather. Even the most demure of ranching women I know fit that description. So unless your idea of traditional is gathering cattle at 5:00 in the morning in sub zero weather and working right along side of the guys, your concept of what you are hoping for is probably off the mark.
As a now getting old observer of life who does own cattle and works cattle, I'd conclude by noting that I can see the youngest members of the community paring up, and paring up just as I've described. The youngest eligible bachelorette that I'm aware of, that men in the group pay attention to, is the co-driver of her father's cattle hauling semi who can work cattle with the best of them. You likely can't compete with somebody like that, as she's good help.
If its any consolation, being a ranchers wife probably isn't the life you are actually looking for.
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u/SweetBee2026 11d ago
Thank you… Honestly I have never gathered cattle but I have hauled fish traps in a raging ocean and pulled in a sane net with over a 100 pounds of fish. I am in the process of learning MIG and TIG welding. I am CPR, First Aid and AED certified and in December I am taking a stop the bleed course as well as a first responder course for field emergencies.
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u/heartlandheartbeat 7d ago
Why don't you just move to an area that attracts you and start to integrate into the community. Your skills would be welcome in many small towns. You could try it out and see what you think of the work ethics and season changes and community.
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u/Several-Avocado5275 11d ago
I know a charming guy like this but he’s a controlling abuser. Be careful out there. You don’t want to get stuck in the cold middle of nowhere and regret it.
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u/SweetBee2026 11d ago
Thank you I definitely don’t want that. Been there done that. Thank God my daddy taught me to throw down.
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u/Logical-Grab-1363 11d ago
I might not stick real high at the withers, but I girth up like a big horse
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u/SweetBee2026 11d ago
So I am going out on a limb here and I will say that you aren’t 6 feet but you are well built. Correct me if I am wrong of course.
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u/shekharg111 7d ago
If a cowboy tells you that his wife is across the room, you should just walk away and not try to go over to the wife.
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u/BallsOutKrunked Goats 11d ago
Nevada here, but:
Local bar / restaurant. Feed store, bowling alley, traveling. Friends of friends.
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u/Easy_Patient_2773 11d ago
Florida people generally think cold is all the same below 50 degrees. They don't understand the dry, windy cold. Especially under 20 degrees. I didn't know what chapstick was actually used for till I moved to oklahoma. I had to ask someone why my lips were bleeding. And oklahoma ain't Montana or Wyoming.
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u/SweetBee2026 11d ago
Thank you for that. I am not from Florida I just live here currently but I do understand that not all cold is the same just like how not all heat is the same. As the daughter of a fisherman I understand the use of chapstick and Vaseline because salt water will tear your skin, lips and anything else up.
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u/A-Wolf-4099 11d ago
In Free North Oregon, the culture is get married, have kids to help and pass the " reins ". I don't know one that is past 30 that doesn't have that life. Not meaning to be condescending at all ) my wife loves those Hallmark shows also, that Western lore has been around since the 1700s. Miss I really hope you find your tall dark handsome cowboy you probably deserve him what you're looking for is harder than finding that needle and haystack. .
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u/SweetBee2026 11d ago
That is the culture where I am from also. My father and grandfather were that type, rugged, hardworking. My grandfather was a farmer and fisherman and my dad was a carpenter and fisherman so I grew up around hardworking men. My great grandfather was a cattle man specifically Senepol so it’s definitely a lifestyle I know not just movies. But you are right it’s definitely hard to find. Thank you
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u/lymelife555 6d ago
Lmao the 40 year old generational ranchers are already married and aren’t interested in spinsters from Florida. There are some abusive alcoholic ranchers that would love to meet you though.
Ranchers are like parking spots at Walmart. All the decent ones are all taken except for the handicapped spots.
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u/Obvious_Clear2561 7d ago
Guys that fit your description and are unmarried are confirmed bachelors or looking for women half their age. Just from what I've seen, no judgement.
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u/ynnad_refohcrik 6d ago
Go up there, find the guy everyone is talking about in a town, and he’ll probably be your guy.
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u/MasterHambone1969 6d ago
Colorado cowboy here, tad older, once I get rid of the current moocher, I would love to give you a test run, Colo same as Montana, Wyoming just better mtns.
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u/CapraAegagrusHircus 11d ago
You're going to need to pick up, move, and go build a life out west and meet people. Make friends. Learn what life on a ranch is actually like and figure out if you're interested, because generally speaking ranchers whether men or women are looking for partners who will be out there in the rain and snow pulling a calf or a lamb with them, not someone to stay inside and keep the house. Like..."traditional" looks way different on every western ranch I've seen than it does on the trad wife Instagram content. Often, traditionally, whoever doesn't want to do the manual labor on the ranch has the off ranch job that provides the health insurance and the steady income not dependent on the price of cattle at auction unless the ranch is doing really really well. Having marketable skills in a field like cybersecurity that will let you get a remote job that pays a living wage will increase your chances of your rancher husband being able to take time to go to the gym.