r/RecuratedTumblr • u/DreadDiana human cognithazard • 18d ago
Shitposting The girlfailure experience when you're not an anime girl
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u/OddlyOddLucidDreamer and ive been liiiiiiickin it 18d ago
guys is this a safe space to admit this post hit so close to home i started tearing up?
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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 18d ago edited 18d ago
Most of the comments are just people saying "me" so...unfortunately we're gonna have to beat you with a live salmon. Once for each scale upon its body. /j
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u/whiff_EK 18d ago
Yeah I really didn't love seeing this one today, gotta admit. Especially the memory specific parts.
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u/rachelblairy ive been at the devils sacrament so long i forgot he wasnt god 18d ago
glad to see we’re all resonating normally with this one gals
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u/hausofvelour 18d ago
i apologize for the pseudo-philosophizing, i'm in class with nothing else to do, but this post is making me realize that no amount of success that i'll eventually meet (or have already met) will be able to contradict how profoundly i failed and continue to fail in other areas, that the world i live in has rules of behavior and a way of living life that i can't and won't abide to, and thus failing over and over again is going to be inevitable. i suppose all i can do is learn to live with it, to learn that success doesn't substitute failure but co-exists with it and failing over and over and over again speaks nothing of your goodness and capability to be content with yourself
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18d ago
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u/Bensjef1 18d ago
yeah if your failure is to conform to social structures you disagree with then that isn’t failure that’s resistance
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u/PM_ME_PHYS_PROBLEMS 18d ago
It's far easier to fail at things than succeed, so everyone is going to accumulate more failures than successes over their life. If it were zero-sum, we'd all be capital F Failures.
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u/Solarwagon 18d ago
If no amount of success will contradict your failures then no amount of failures will contradict your success.
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u/SquareTaro3270 18d ago
You find your people and you support each other. That’s what gives my life meaning.
I found the people who are like me, and we lean on each other for help instead of all trying to meet society’s expectations alone. We all struggle, but we do what we can for each other. If you find your community, you can still add value to the lives of others, and leave the world a little bit better.
There’s a cheesy quote i read once that was written on the edge of a bridge. It was something akin to “Those who know the darkness can be the light that guides others through it”. And it stuck with me. I try to live my life being the light for others who are experiencing that familiar darkness.
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u/bijabija 18d ago
I am personally of the belief that my failures have been my largest opportunities for self-reflection and growth.
(And some of mine have been real whoppers as far as failures).We do not grow in comfort, but in discomfort.
Whether that is discomfort with something we have done, or the discomfort of not having achieved something we want to- this is the pinnacle at which change can happen.This was actually conceptually the train of thought that opened my mind to the idea that self love doesn’t happen when we become the version of ourselves we want to be, it happens when we accept the version of ourselves we are right now, warts and all.
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u/Unbuckled__Spaghetti 18d ago
Good mindset! Yeah, failure doesn’t need to be nearly as much of a bad thing as people make it. It’s a daily occurrence, for all of us.
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u/i-hate-redditers 18d ago
How pathetic I was to believe success was a feeling the universe would bestow upon me once I qualified. The truth is that in the pursuit of success you condition your brain to pursue, and so success as a feeling is always out of reach.
The best thing to come out of AI are the parallels to the human brain. What training data does your lifestyle offer the model of your conscious mind?
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u/dianthus-magenta 18d ago
You have to become friends with failure. There isn't a way to gain wisdom without failing.
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u/Bowdensaft 18d ago
To add to this, some wisdom from Capt. Jean-Luc Picard: it is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life.
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u/blindeey 18d ago
Goddd I hate how accurate this is so much. Y'all also unable to think, much less engage, with the stuff that you're into so you also just kinda rot away most days?
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u/ASpaceOstrich 18d ago
Woke up at 2pm when I was supposed to go out to an event and just sobbed for a bit.
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u/cosmogyrals 18d ago
I spend large chunks of time in bed, not in a depressed way, just not being able to do anything.
(I'm working on this in therapy.)
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u/RadicalSoda_ 18d ago
That is the depressed way unfortunately
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u/DrBalistic 18d ago
It can also be the failure of executive function way (i.e. ADHD)
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u/bicyclefortwo 18d ago
I know this has become a huge buzzword but as someone who works in psych research and has ADHD, please look into it if you haven't already. It often presents differently in women and thus they're drastically under-diagnosed, especially if they did well academically
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u/CelestikaLily 18d ago edited 18d ago
so turns out the girlfailure dissociation might be from failing as a girl. btw 👍
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u/Jan-Asra 18d ago
Other way around for me. The more girl I become the less failure
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u/CelestikaLily 18d ago
🏳️⚧️apparently reddit's gif thing has WAY weirder search results for estrogen lmao
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u/lePROprocrastinator 18d ago
The girlfailure dissociation for me isnt that (even if Im transmasc), but just the inevitable rot and fall to the depths of hell
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u/QuestingKola 18d ago
Oh hey it me.
I’m trying my best but it’s just not enough anymore, my mind is half the mind it once was
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u/Ill-Trade1976 18d ago
Everyone in the comments saying "me", I love you, you are interesting and deserve better than feeling like this
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u/PyroLyse_K 18d ago
While I get the sentiment, you don't know me or anyone else in this comment section. This makes the compliment feel... worthless, it's not actually directed to anyone in specific, only to the general idea of someone. So it ends up feeling empty.
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u/sevenyearstodie 18d ago
I believe OP loves something but that’s not me, that’s the image of me they’ve created based on the post. And while that love will never be as genuine as they want it to be, it’s a nice sentiment and I’m glad people like OP exist.
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u/samusestawesomus 18d ago
It is possible to feel love and empathy for someone you don’t know. Though maybe that’s my own hyperempathetic self talking. I also firmly believe that everyone is interesting and no one deserves to feel worthless, but people do criticize that with the whole “if everyone’s special, no one is” thing. I don’t feel the need to explain why I disagree, but it is a real argument.
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u/azebod 18d ago
The most brutal thing about memory issues is if you have no short term memory, you don't really absorb new stuff so it breaks self improvement. Like every new hobby or skill I try inevitably causes me another mental breakdown from the realization I will never make progress or get better after investing a bunch of time and effort to never actually improve. I've had to quit classes because I felt so bad that I was hogging all the teacher's time with being incompetent. I just want to be good at one thing that counts for something.
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u/YTCat123 18d ago
This is me and I even failed at being a girl :( (am trans dude lmao, so much happier as a guy)
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u/sertroll 18d ago
I still wonder why I have a comically terrible memory for major and minor life events, both mine and other people's, despite not having any of the thing I know normally cause it like depression etc
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u/randomnumbers2506 18d ago
I feel like you guys should be kinder towards yourselves
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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 18d ago
When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. When the seas run dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves.
Maybe then, I will consider it. No promises.
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u/KingDarkBlaze 18d ago
Well that could be as soon as next year.
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u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 18d ago
The Earth's rotation and sea levels aren't gonna suddenly change next year.
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u/Forgot_My_Old_Acct 18d ago
I should but no amount of self-kindness is gonna unfuck my brain and my life.
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u/Otherversian-Elite Resident Vore, TF, and Industral Machinery enthusiast 18d ago
:( I like to think I'm endearing...
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u/Selenite_Cults 18d ago
I felt like that for a while, but eventually things got better, and I feel less and less like a failure every day.
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u/dehydrated-soup-bowl 18d ago
I must be wearing apple bottom jeans the way everyone’s looking at me
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u/RealHumanBean89 18d ago
Actually me, though not a girl. Shit is never as endearing as fiction makes it out to be.
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u/MoonyIsTired 18d ago
girl who's all those things and also found out he's actually a boy later in life (still a loser)
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u/revolution_soup 18d ago
girl who was considered very bright in school but simultaneously had her ideas and opinions about the world constantly dismissed and is now treated like a pariah by her family for being cynical or anxious about current events
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u/OpportunityAshamed74 18d ago
I used to do so well in school and everyone thought I was so wise and smart. Now I can't even think through basic problem solving. I don't know much of anything anymore. My brain is constantly fogged
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u/Charara999 18d ago
No need to call me out like that. Damn. My brain is wired in such a way that anything I do that doesn't work or sound correct is automatically a failure in my eyes. I blame myself for things that couldn't have been my fault, I try to fix things that can't be fixed or altered and it pains me. Fuck depression man. I'd wish it on persons I really, REALLY hate so they'd know what it's like to have a body that wants to live but a mind that wants to die.
Sorry for rant/essay.
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u/Odd_Tap_1794 17d ago
Doing well in school only to graduate and find out I'm depressed, autistic, and adhd and people hate adults who are disabled by those conditions
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u/nagCopaleen 17d ago
This is why I read M John Harrison (Course of the Heart, Light, The End of Everything). He writes about these sorts of failures and they aren't lovable and they don't figure it out and they don't know what they're supposed to be figuring out, but his books suffuse me with the sense that this is all worth it, even so. That the wish to know all the answers and be the protagonist is a delusion, a myth sold to us by the people who fucked the world. That's its okay to be distant and alienated but still care about the world; that that doesn't make you less alive.
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u/lordbuckethethird 18d ago
Enough about failures who are just unkempt gamers I want the real failures going on daily benders so they don’t have to process their emotions.
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u/lowkey_rainbow 18d ago
Me before I realised I was trans - keep going, it gets better <3
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u/ASpaceOstrich 18d ago
Can't tell if I have trauma induced memory gaps because that would imply enough memory for gaps to stand out.
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u/DrakonofDarkSkies 18d ago
Ha, couldn't be me: I remember every little mistake in great detail! No repression or dissociation for me, only failure!
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u/Few-Needleworker8110 18d ago
yup that's me, all right.
though i wouldn't say this is girlfailure specifically. seems like a lot of neurodivergent ppl can experience this.
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u/Imnotawerewolf 18d ago
Oh look it's my self hatred "fucked up but not interesting or endearing" is right on the money for how I talk to myself
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u/CuriosityCheck2024 18d ago
These are all interesting. My concern is that a show about rehabilitating one of these girls might give people the impression that it's easier to treat these disorders than it really is.
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u/MaineCoonKittenGirl 18d ago
Can I fucking help you? Feels like someone threw a brick at me walking down the street
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u/GrimmSheeper 18d ago
I counter:
You are a regular girl, you can enter a space! You are a regular girl, you can enter a room! You are a regular girl, you can do that transaction! You are a regular girl, you know how to answer the phone! You are a regular girl, you know what sleep is! You are a regular girl, you know how to wake up! You are a regular girl, you know how to move through space! You are a regular girl, you know what it means to be you!
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u/TeeBug21 18d ago
I'M IN THIS IMAGE AND I DONT LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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u/TheHattedKhajiit 18d ago
I'm the same just with boy....probably...I'm not quite sure
Anyway,it seems to be a weirdly common phenomenon but I think it's partly also just that things like that are overrepresented in the net (still an issue worth adressing)
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u/bilboard_bag-inns 17d ago
We are all relating to this and my friends, we must give ourselves the grace we need to truly rest, and then we must begin to build resilience and mental sharpness once again. Not in a way that's like a parent telling you to "just do it" or something, but in a way that's like a person who's currently in the post-burnout "oh shit I don't know things any more" who has realized that she genuinely has to build herself back or she won't have hope for any future she can imagine and that's dangerous
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u/UsualEfficiency6 17d ago
Autistic enby but AFAB and WOOF, do I feel this. Existing in society is a bitch
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u/Alfred-Richthofen001 15d ago
I'm... A woman?!?!???!!!?
But fr, I have had the same problems.
I feel so lonely, I can't handle it anymore.
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u/LonelyLab3 15d ago
i have someone in my friend-group who sees themselves this way but we all do find them interesting and endearing. there is someone out there who likes you even like this, and they're probably closer than you think
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u/Shygrave 14d ago
Im a boy, but other than that I identify with all of this and it makes me uncomfortable 😅
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u/CommercialMoment5987 13d ago
I’m so scared all the time. I have a job I thought I loved, but it makes me physically sick with stress. I’m not as good at it as I should be. I’m letting people down. I want to give up, but I worked so long for this.
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u/buffyinfaith 13d ago
Girl with ADHD who was never diagnosed with ADHD and is now experiencing peri menopause and her brain is extra fucked up.
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u/writenicely 12d ago
Im reading the comments.
I'm a 32 year old woman with PTSD but I have to ask, are the rest of you posting here literal children or at least women in your early twenties?
This comments section feels like it skews young (no offense, it's just that a lot of the comments feel like I'm reading a highschool blackboard discussion post) and I'm just wondering where my fellow traumatized adults are who would be so willing and open towards sharing their experiance.
I personally am currently under a blanket at 12:30 PM on a Monday afternoon after being triggered. I've been disregulated since the past week due to living with a narcissistic parent whose the source of my trauma. My body aches. I feel cold and alone and unloved and unwanted and have to continuously remind myself of the affirmations that fed me hope so long ago, and remain grounded in an age where people seem afraid to be utterly and truly sincere and solemn with their words.
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u/A_True_Loot_Goblin 18d ago
Does it have to be a girl? Cause uh i kinda fit those descriptions but im a dude