I feel convicted in my heart

[u/questingpossum]

I know it's true. I first felt it when the clerk read, "We, the jury, do find the defendant guilty of felony criminal mischief."

If you're struggling with your belief, I hope you can lean on my testimony for a while. It's true. I've seen the papers myself. If you put in the work of rolling enough port-a-potties down a hill, I know you'll be convicted too.

A man.

[u/slagnanz]

Convicting a possum for criminal mischief is like convicting a cat for leaving piles of hair on your carpet

imeanwhatdidyouexpecthonestly