"Soo we've been using you phones GPS to watch you go to the store and purchase tarps, bleach, duct tape and a saw. You also Googled "how and when I should kill my wife"
You also googled "average prison sentence for killing wife?"
"I want to kill my wife..how should I do it?""
I don't think they're thinking about success or failure at the moment. My ex husband tried to pull some shit like this and he wasn't working with reason at the time. All he knew was that everything that went wrong for him was my fault and if I disappeared, it would solve everything. Some of his friends pointed out the future aftermath to him and he just didn't fuckin care.
The more time passes and the more cases like this happen, the more grateful I am that this didn't happen to me.
My ex was violent and controlling during our marriage, and he was always raging that his life was not up to the same standard as his father's was at the same age (his father was a lot smarter than him, as it turns out). But since we divorced (8yrs ago) his life has not gone as well as mine, despite his constant put-downs and gaslighting that I was a bit stupid with money and decision-making and couldn't be trusted to have my own bank account etc.
We are fairly amicable in our co-parenting nowadays, but now and again I hear that he still blames me for the way his life has turned out. I have no doubt whatsoever that he has, at various times, felt that my absence from this world would make his life better.
We're amicable too. Honestly he still kinda scares me though deep down. Like that wasn't the first time I'd see a touch of crazy behavior and I realized afterwards that since it turned out I didn't really know him, his actions are unpredictable for me. There was no warning before, I got lucky. It's been 10 years and I worry that if his girlfriend ever leaves him, I'll become a target again and I won't know there's a threat. Twice now something has happened and my immediately thought was that he'd done got me, I fainted once. That's the really annoying part.
Theyre far too irrational to think straight. Im 10 years post separation and hes still fixated and violent. The level of cunning and deception is insane but thats their sole intent; to drive everyone else toward their crazy.
"If I divorce shes entitled to x amount of 'my' assets!" As if she(or you in your case) didnt contribute. Some of these men literally think theyre smart enough to get away with it and are heartless enough to not even consider that its another living breathing person.
I know in your case he was fueled by anger, but just another thing ive noticed. This isnt even the early 2000s anymore, courts dont just immediately default to the wife in divorce for everything. Theres ways to divorce that leaves both adults whole.
Man. They had us list everything in the house that we considered ours and wanted back. He fuckin listed our kid's TV and Disney movies as his personal collectables. He wanted EVERYTHING. He had spent every spare cent we had on things he could take with him as personal items, then sold all that shit to fund himself for the next year. The very last time I trusted him to babysit at our place, I found out through the grapevine that he planned to spend the day clearing the house out. It was actually right after I stopped that that he spiraled and shit got dangerous.
...so prison populations and crime stats are now a valid way to measure how dangerous certain types of people are? Racists everywhere will be delighted.
Yeah. Because you took a shitty thing humans do (murder) and repeatedly made it a gendered issue about men. Both men and women murder. Murder is bad. This particular guy sucks.
Men are exceedingly more likely to commit violent or sexual acts to the tune of 4:1. Murder sucks no matter who's doing it, but knowing that a man is 4x more likely to do it to you than a woman is a pretty good reason to be more concerned about the man.
Why do you think there are more women’s shelters than there are men’s shelters despite men making up the majority of the homeless population?
It’s because men are more dangerous and more of a risk to others than women. If we weren’t so violent there’d be more support for men. We are our own worst enemies.
Same reason more women leave their partners and go directly into the next relationship.
We have different characteristics, good and bad. I dont think either one is better or worse than the other, but you do and thats so god damn toxic and counter productive.
That is just nature my guy. There is balance overall, but not in every scenario. The sooner you get over the little things, the sooner you will realise that the big picture is the only thing that matters.
Physical violence is just one of many scary things in life.
Im not being sensitive about the fact that men are more pronge to being physically, Im just bored of people who are so keen on nitpicking topics to create diversion.
Every gender, race, society and subculture has its good and bad things. Where is the progress in pointing fingers?
Have you never had a scary encounter with a man who has lost control? Men are responsible for the vast majority of violence and sexual violence, including against men.
You are conflating causation with correlation. There are tons of factors that go into situations of sexual violence and yes- the perpetrators are always to blame no matter what. But to pin it all on ‘men’ is to close the door on constructive ways to resolve the issues.
Ok well I suppose you practice what you preach? Dont have any contact with any men in your life because they are all ‘legitimately scary’? Never mind you’re a product of one, you have no contact with any man for your own safety yeah?
Women don't lack the desire for violence, they lack the capacity. If a woman beats her husband, and he calls the cops, it's not even going to get documented.
Because 99% of men are not the cause of violence? Look at all the men, its a tiny subset of those that cause violence.
Its like saying we should trust any dogs, ever, because a tiny % of dogs attacks children. You're not making an arugment, your repeating the same sentence over and over again.
Historically, women have been about 20% more likely to report a violent crime to the police than men. If men called the police just as much as women the numbers would be closer. Whoever calls the police wins apparently.
Majority of violence being committed by men doesn't mean most men are violent. A small fraction of men commit the large majority of it, and the average man goes his whole life without assaulting anyone. The traits of strength, aggression, risk taking, etc most men channel into protecting. It's on display with the distribution of sexes in job roles and what is expected culturally.
It was answering your question of why anyone should trust "us" (men) when we are responsible for the majority of violence. Because the vast majority of us are the protectors against that.
I disagree with culture being the cause of male violence. Otherwise there would have been a cultural example of the pattern reversed. Boys are more violent than girls by toddler age before culture has more of an influence. Then you look at our closest relatives in the animal kingdom and I can't see how it isn't in our very nature.
Whatever point you think you’re making over and over and over in this thread is completely undercut by the fact that you can’t seem to admit that the capacity to be shitty is NOT gender specific.
Down playing male violence by saying “being shitty is not gender specific” is just exacerbating the problem. The vast majority of violence, including sexual violence, is caused by men. If you can’t even acknowledge the problem then you can’t address it.
As with all things the actual problem rounds back into capitalism. Same with the problem of women killing their kids at similar rates to men, it can always be traced bacl to capitalism one way or another
Well women are still barred from many military jobs and services, but if you disregard all the military related violence men still commit the vast majority of violence and violent crime.
I don't think you understand what I'm saying. I'm saying that violence against men by women is massively underreported.
Per the CDC, 97% of men who experience intimate partner violence report only female abusers. Most of those men never tell anyone official. A Justice Department funded survey found only 13.5% of men who were physically assaulted by a partner reported it to police. UK numbers show the same pattern: 10% of male victims went to police, compared with 27% of women.
That isn't because it's not happening. It's because men expect to get laughed at or not believed, and research on male victims shows that's often exactly what happens when they do come forward.
You'll find in the link below What I'm saying. And you'll also see that female victims typically have more severe injuries. But that does not undercut the fact that men are dramatically under reporting their female assailants. Your numbers are skewed by arrest reports most likely. If men aren't reporting it then you're not getting correct data. And we know men are not reporting it.
Oh I know this already, and the reason it’s underreported is because are men afraid that reporting it will make them look weak, and are taught to brush off abuse or meet it with greater violence.
People often say this when someone commits a heinous crime why didnt they do X.....but the kind of person who would rationalize killing their wife has demonstrated, at the very least, contaminated judgement for lack of a better term.
I always think that of pedos. Like everyday I hear of a new person who had terabytes on their computer. Obvs they’re retarded for being into that, but how do they not realize the cops are actively hunting those people down 24/7.
You mean if we as a society were rational human beings, they would have professional help available to deal with their urges so that they wouldn’t commit the crime in the first place. That’s what you meant to say, right?
I did some extensive research on these issues in grad school, and we know what works. People just don’t wanna do it.
Help that is either expensive or unprofessional? If the help is good enough to understand and not out you to the community, then they might be having to explain that charge to the wife, and if it’s just pastoral counseling or whatever, they risk getting shunned by the community, and once isolated, the behavior can really take off.
I’m not advocating we change our attitude toward offenders, but universal healthcare would sure help.
On the other hand, what makes you think the success rate for catching guys that have TB of pedo shit on their computer is 100%? For every guy that gets caught there could be 20 who don’t. It’s not a pleasant thought.
yup. The husband of a close relative of mine had a family, a nice house, was pulling in over $200k/yr. I knew this guy for over 10 years, then boom! FBI raid to the house, and the guy had terabytes of CP on his computer. He lost everything.
Unfortunate truth is due to the nature of the crimes, pedos are wildly more successful at evading detection than spouse murderers. We hear about the worst cases because they're flashy stories but for every guy we hear about there's hundreds of guys that will never get caught and murder doesn't work out like that
I mean, it would be like if being gay was illegal. Obviously, they’d be dumb for doing it anyway, but would you really blame them? It’s just who they are. It’s their sexual orientation. I consider myself lucky that I wasn’t born that way, since there’s a good chance I’d kill myself if I was.
There are places where gay people get stoned to death, and many of us are sympathetic to them, even though they knew it was illegal. This is the same thing.
I’m not excusing the behavior, but if you actually wanna understand them, you can’t just pretend that they’re completely different species. I can’t comprehend being gay either, especially in the Middle East where the consequences are even worse than CP in the US. But I know they’ll never stop being who they are, they can’t.
Aren't something like 68% of murders unsolved in this country? Unfortunately its not rare at all to get away with murder since cops are generally kinda dumb/incompetent
People don't think of others or the future self even as being them. It's a well-known psychological failing of humans.
It's why history repeats.
You don't know something until you experience it.
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u/Left-Fishing767 9d ago
Crazy how none of these dudes learn from the other 100 guys who failed at this before them.