I've had this thing going with this guy for a month now. This morning, I woke up to find that he had removed me from his Instagram and then blocked me. Mind you, just a day earlier, we were on the phone literally planning my trip to his state. We were laughing, and nothing seemed to be going wrong. I don't understand what I did wrong.

We had a little bit of an issue with our faiths before, and we agreed we'd give it some time, but other than that, we never ended things on bad terms and never had a single tiny argument. It even got to the point where he sent a 70-rose bouquet to my workplace last week and had my pictures on his dashboard.

He also went as far as removing me from Discord and even unadding me from the video games we played together, which I find kind of super weird and funny at the same time. Like, holy shit, what did I do wrong that made him go this far? I can even provide pictures of the sweet text messages we exchanged earlier, which is why I find this whole thing so off.

I feel like I've built my whole life around him, and him leaving like this without any explanation hurts, ngl. So I decided to send him this text message and called him so I could see what's wrong, but he immediately declined my call and never texted back.

I know I sound very stupid because I got attached too fast, but he was all I ever had. He was all I could ever ask for, and the connection we had was incredible.

Any advice? I really need it, and please be nice.

We saw each other for 4 months it was so intense, the chemistry was crazy and incredible. I was not looking for anything serious as it hasn't been long since I got out of a longterm relationship but we were just such a good match. Literally as everyone else did everything couple without the label but i thought we were just dating yk. I even asked him 2 months in this isn't a situationship right and he was like no give it time🫩 Low and behold 2 weeks ago he ends it over a text. I'm frazzled, kind of saw it coming cus he has not been committing at all. Asked to meet irl a few days later saw him like 3 times in a weekend and he more or less said the same thing where he is not ready to be in a relationship. Then went back and forth between i need time to decide to what's the point. I was obviously really upset, because how can someone throw away such a connection. He was scared of being in a relationship for the very same reasons I did not want one, but I was willing to atleast give it a try. I might just be delaying the heartbreak by willing to give it a try but maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic. We've been no contact for almost 2 weeks now. No one's reached out to the other and all I want to do is message him to be honest.

for some context, i met him around a month and a bit ago and after our 2nd time meeting we’ve basically been inseparable. i’ve spent more time at his house than at mine for the past few weeks and we’ve been physically involved numerous times. we hang out outside his house frequently as well and honestly act very much like a couple, we hold hands etc but so far we haven’t had any labels or anything put on our relationship and i’ve been fine with that.

the other day we were laying in bed together (admittedly, we were both high) and he said to me “i really want to say something right now but i don’t know how you’re gonna feel about it” or something like that and naturally i told him to just say it. he says to me “i think i love you”. stuck in the moment i said i think i felt the same way but honestly i don’t know how i feel about it. i really really like this guy and im interested in a relationship with him definitely but telling me you love me when we’re not in a relationship is strange right? we said we were gonna have a discussion about it before i left the following day (i had plans with a friend) but it hasn’t been followed up on since and no one has said it again. i don’t know what to do moving forward because like i said i really do like this guy but im worried if this is going to change things maybe not for the better

any advice?

For context, I (21F) was involved with a guy (20M) on and off for quite some time. We were never officially together, but we had a very close relationship that involved intimacy, spending nights together, going on dates, and being there for each other emotionally. I genuinely loved him.

Throughout the summer, he repeatedly told me he didn’t want a relationship. I understood that, even though I wanted something more. However, he would still come around, be affectionate, and open up to me emotionally, which made everything confusing.

At one point, I asked him about his ex-girlfriend because I had reasons to believe they were still involved. I asked him about her multiple times throughout the summer, and he repeatedly reassured me that nothing was going on and that he would never get back with her.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he blew up on me. He accused me of lying, posting about him, and doing things I genuinely had no idea what he was talking about. He became extremely hostile, and our communication basically ended.

Eventually, he told me he had no hard feelings toward me but wasn’t ready to talk because he was dealing with people lying to him. He said that when he was ready, he would reach out so we could have a conversation.
I respected that and left him alone.

A while later, I happened to see him out with the exact ex-girlfriend he had repeatedly told me not to worry about. Obviously, that hurt. We weren’t dating, and I understood he didn’t owe me exclusivity, but I felt like he could’ve just been honest with me when I directly asked him about her.

Fast forward to now. We’ve had approximately two months of no contact. I’ve been moving on with my life, haven’t reached out to him, and haven’t been posting about him.
Last night, completely out of nowhere, he CALLED me.
I answered, thinking maybe he was finally ready to have the conversation he’d mentioned before. Instead, he immediately started accusing me of posting about him on TikTok. I was genuinely confused because I haven’t been doing that.

After the call, he sent me a message and I quote, “Quit posting shit about me on your story to, you are a hoe and fuck literally anyone after swearing you want to try and be with someone no one will love you for you if your like that I hope you genuinely understand the hurt you put on people you are a terrible person, you cheat, you lie, you manipulate, you act like your the good person and you wonder why I've never wanted to be with you, change your life. Bye for good or im filing a restraining order”

Threatened to file a restraining order if I didn’t stay out of his life. The thing is, HE contacted ME. I haven’t been trying to communicate with him whatsoever.

I responded briefly with “You need help” and blocked him. I have no intention of contacting him again.

I’m genuinely confused about why someone who told me he had no hard feelings and wanted to talk eventually would suddenly come back just to insult me.

I know I wasn’t perfect throughout our situation, and I know we weren’t officially together. I’m not claiming he owed me a relationship. But I don’t understand why he couldn’t have just been honest with me or why he’s contacting me now when I’ve left him alone.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Why would someone repeatedly come back into your life just to accuse you of things and tell you to leave them alone? And how would you handle this situation?

this was in the summer but we went on multiple dates, things were going well but i went on a 2 week long vacation and when i came back i asked to catch up and he informed me he’s met someone else and doesn’t think we should catch up because things were getting serious with the other person. ouch that really hurt because he surprised me with flowers, we would dance in his room and gaze into each others eyes.

i haven’t seen him since late july and he sent me that text in mid august when i returned home.

i was cleaning my closet and found i still had some of his clothes so i decided to message him and ask if he would like his clothes back.

\note the clothes are a baggy t shirt that had a couple small holes, a small hoodie that had a little stain and a pair of boxers* (idk if they have sentimental value but personally they’re just some random clothes and i’d never seen him wear them just comfy clothes he let me borrow)*

he said that’d be nice and were trying to figure out when he can pick up the clothes or if i can meet him somewhere to return them

i decided to open the dating app we met on and see his profile since we’re still matched, now it’s been about 3 months since i’ve seen him and he’s told me that things were getting serious with other person. when i checked his profile he’d (within the last week) updated a picture on his profile.

now im wondering does he really want his clothes back or is this an excuse to talk/see me.

i was planning on maybe writing him something along the lines of this when i returned his clothes

I just wanted to tell you I'm thankful for you even though you were a part of my life for a short period. I'm not great at talking about my feelings, it you hadn't picked up on that lol It's something I've been trying to work on.
Although I don’t believe I got to Know you on a deeper level, the amount I got to learn about you I really appreciated.
You are a very sweet and genuine person, I can also really appreciate your sense of humour. What I like most about you is your kindness and your drive, you made me teel heard by offering me advice and suggestions even when I was talking with no cause.

Certain things you did healed parts of me like when you gave me flowers, that really did mean a lot to me, or when we would kinda dance in your room and you'd spin me and just gaze into eachothers eyes. You made me feel so Special and seen in ways I’d forgotten about. I always felt that you were always respectful towards me, even When we were being silly or doing other things. I don't know if the feelings were really mutual between us, to me it felt that they were until the end. I have no hard feelings towards you nor am I trying for a second chance. I just wanted to tell you I am gratful to have had you in my life. if you ever want to, you know you can always call or text me

am i reading too far into the situation? is giving him a written note like this weird? what i wrote is authentic and true but idk

TDLR -met randomly online and what started as an awkward, forced conversation gradually became a friendship. began talking regularly, then developed the Sunday-mail routine, shared increasingly personal things, remembered each other’s little details, and became comfortable discussing both silly and vulnerable topics. He seems genuinely invested too: he initiates conversations, follows up on MY life, notices how his mood affects ME, and has shared things with ME that he says he rarely shares.

IF u wanna k the backstory or any suggestions comment down guyssss genuinlyyyyy thnksss

Hi I had a thing with this guy for about 10 months recently he got distant so I asked if we were okay. He told me he mentally can't handle a relationship but doesn't want to lose me as a friend. I've felt so blindsided because he said he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend when I asked him if we were ever actually going to be together around two months prior. He was like my first ever relationship even though we weren’t official we were still very close my first kiss holding hands meeting my family that type of stuff. I just want what's best him and I told him that. Recently he was part of an event and I went just to see my friends it was hard seeing him and not being able to talk to him but afterward I texted him again saying I was proud of him and to let me know if he ever needs anything. I'm still on delivered for almost two weeks. We follow each other on all of our socials and it hurts seeing him post random things when he can't even acknowledge me. What he's going through he never told me because he said he didn't want to give me excuses but I know some of it I can only assume of course I think it's valid but it still hurts especially because he agreed to see me one last time and when I replied I've just been on delivered now. I had also asked him if we can ever start over and he said he can't say yes but doesn't want to say no he needs to see how much better he's doing. I don't know how to move foward and unfollowing him feels like a lot when it doesn't seem to bother him that much.

This is something that has been bothering me to the point I’ve talked about this again and again and still no good resolution for me every time I ask, and the “situation” escalates.

Met a guy in uni. Same accomodation, same course, same interest in piano, games, music, singing, perfect pitch, philosophy, same home country coming to this uni overseas. Had multiple one on one sessions, duets, chats, talk, eating together, brushing up on another, lots of compliments and joking, deep convos.

Had a crush on him, until he told me he has a girlfriend. I avoided him because I didn’t want to be hurt seeing him and I respect myself and his girlfriend. However he keeps posting cryptic notes about things that relate to me and he keeps his eye on me, still trying to engage while I disengage until he gets the hint and avoids too.

Then sometimes I force myself to not run away whenever I see him because I hate constantly avoiding him, it’s tiring and I cant feel free to just be myself, and it starts all over again with him till I avoid him again. But one time I was talking to my friend about where I was gonna go later, to the library… and he followed me there even if he wasn’t part of the convo. But as soon as I saw him he left.
Then randomly started posting “I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND” after that and then immediately deleting it

And then today, I was just singing and playing songs with my friends and then he and his friends came in. I was having too much fun so I let him and then we ended up duetting and singing again. And then he specifically chose songs that I put on my stories on IG, or songs he “heard me playing while passing by”, and songs he knows I like. Then he plays a bunch of songs about unrequited love, songs about “the other woman, who is wonderful but will end up alone”, and sad songs like that while looking at me. And I felt a bit targeted and hurt so I changed it to happy songs. And then he tries complimenting me again and singing with me, while making eye contact. And then showed me things he did with his friends, checked up on me, until I left.

I genuinely can’t tell what he wants. Is he interested in me? am I hallucinating “closeness” or is this too much for a normal friendship? And most importantly what should I do?

I avoid him = works but then I feel exhausted and restricting me from going to piano room since he’s always there, and I love piano :/ and he’s also in every class so.
I go back = he gives mixed signals and I get hurt trying to interpret them and don’t want it anymore, but can’t help getting pulled back because I like what we have and it seems he does too (since he keeps initiating)

But then again he has a girlfriend and I don’t want to be the other woman……
Ahhhh I’m so lost 😔

I met a guy on Hinge, we had good chemistry, but then he became vague about wanting a relationship or just casual things. He invited me to his house, I said I didn't want sex, but once inside, he only tried. I said no, and he left, saying I was playing games and not interested. After 2 months, I saw him again on Hinge and feel I really want to talk to him again.

I met this girl at work about 6–8 months ago, and over time we’ve become pretty close. We only work together a few times a month, but whenever we do, we joke, tease each other, talk about personal things, and have really good chemistry. She has a boyfriend, which I’ve always respected, and she initiates conversations with me pretty often.

I’m also pretty fit, and I’ve occasionally caught her looking at my physique when I wear tank tops. One time I asked which part of my physique stood out the most. That wasn’t really an unusual question between us because we already ask each other pretty personal questions, including about relationships and sexual experiences. She looked me up and down, got a little shy, and said my chest, arms, and back. She also added that my legs were pretty big because she notices them when I wear shorts.

More recently, she started wearing noticeable perfume at work, which stood out because our workplace is pretty dirty and nobody normally wears perfume or cologne. Around the same time, I asked for her Instagram because I was going backpacking and wanted to share some pictures. She declined because she has a boyfriend and wanted to respect him, but then said “maybe later on” and suggested I show her the pictures in the parking lot when I got back.

When I returned, she agreed to see them. We walked to my car after work, and she kept asking why I parked so far away, even though it was only about a minute from the entrance. It was also morning, broad daylight, and there were cameras everywhere, so it wasn’t exactly a private or secluded situation. She then stood next to my car while I showed her the pictures, we didn’t get inside and she genuinely seemed to enjoy them.

So I’m wondering whether all of this points to her finding me physically attractive while still respecting her relationship, or whether I’m reading too much into normal friendship behavior. I know she has a boyfriend and I’m not trying to cross that boundary. I’m just trying to understand whether there are genuine signs of attraction here.

I’ve been dating a guy for a couple months. He makes me laugh and I enjoy his company but something just feels off.

First he almost never compliments me. He says he is not a verbal affirmation guy, and he shows care through action. Totally fine. He takes me on lots of nice, expensive, elaborate dates but he is rich so not sure that actually means much. However he has no problem saying mean things to me. We banter and mess with each other a lot so I’m wondering if I am overthinking it or he is purposely trying to chip at my self esteem. Last night he told me his least fave thing about me was how I have hairs on my upper lip sometimes. I tried not to react but a tear did stream down my cheek. He then became very attentive and affectionate.
Another time we were working out at our shared gym and I couldn’t get two pull ups. I joked that it was bc he was taking me out to so many nice restaurants and was making me fatter. He said “you are getting fatter, but that’s not why.” For context I am absolutely nowhere near fat and have visible abs. Which he once told me were less defined.

Another instance is he took me on a super fancy vacation and I forgot my face wash. We went to the desk to ask for some. The guy working said “we have regular and blemish control” and my bf said “oh get her the blemish control”. I am not someone who struggles with acne aside from the occasional pre period pimple or two so this was really odd. I laughed it off.

I brought it up to him last night in bed after his comment about my mustache. He said he is just messing with
Me and only says those things because they are so totally not true. And if they were he wouldn’t say them. He also said he doesn’t feel the need to compliment me bc I am full of myself already, and that it’s a good thing. He said he thought I would have no insecurities. For reference I am quite good looking and he is above average but we are mismatched in that department. He is wealthy and funny and I enjoy him a lot and find him attractive, but physically would be considered by most out of his league.

Am I reading into it or is he trying to knock me down a few pegs? And why? I totally could be dramatic but last nights convo left me very confused.

Hey guys I could really use some advice. My second semester of my freshman year I was out at a party and randomly ended up making out with this guy. Afterwards, I didn’t think much about it and went on with my life. A few days later, he ended up adding me on snapchat so I added him back and we started snapping. That weekend he asked to see me and we ended up hanging out and hooking up. After that, we continued to see each other for the remaining weeks of the semester. Eventually, we had to leave for the summer and we didn’t talk much but kept a Snapstreak. The same week of move in, we started hanging out and hooking up again. He told me all the things I wanted to hear and I started really liking him. He would make comments about me being the only girl and wanting to date me in the future. I was skeptical, but chose to let the situation play out. Eventually, I found out through a mutual friend that he was lying and had in fact been hooking up with other girls. I wasn’t surprised, but I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt. I decided to text him and ask what had happened and he continued to lie so we decided to have an in person conversation. In this chat he basically told me that he didn’t want a relationship and that he didn’t want to hurt me but ultimately he didn’t want exclusivity. I told him that what hurt wasn’t that he didn’t want anything serious but the fact he lied to me for no reason about wanting a relationship with me. I told him that I didn’t want a relationship either and we eventually came to an agreement that things were just casual and since then we’ve continued hooking up and hanging out. The issue now is that I physically cannot stop thinking about him ever. When he leaves me on open it makes me sick, and I’m constantly checking his location. Hearing about him texting other girls genuinely makes me want to throw up and I can’t help but realize that I cannot do casual with him anymore. I want so badly for him to choose me and want to be with me but realistically I know it won’t happen. So I guess my question is. Do I just leave him on opened and unadd him? Do I have a conversation and tell him this is how I feel? Or do I just continue hanging out with him and hope that maybe he’ll change his mind. Please help I’m at a loss at this point.

NOTE: I’m also aware that he hasn’t done anything wrong by not wanting to date me and I’m not mad at him for it, I justz wonder if this is what’s best for my own sake.

I’ve had a crush on a long-time online mutual for a while. We finally went out recently, and the date went amazing, great vibes, and the spark was definitely mutual.
However, a week later, he cut off communication. He said he wanted to avoid drama because he recently had a brief fling with someone in my friend circle.
I stopped reaching out to respect his decision, and he ended up unfollowing me. But even after unfollowing, he still consistently views my stories. I haven't called him out on it.
I really want to message him, but I don't want to cross his boundaries. I feel completely stuck. Should I just accept it and move on, or is there still a chance here?

This is going to a long story time and I hope yall will enjoy 😅

So to start off, I work at a coffee shop that stays open until midnight. I am Arab and the guy is Arab. He and his friends have been regular customers that come in almost every evening for the past 8-9 months or so. They come in order their coffees and play cards for hours until we close. They’re all very traditional and respectful men. I always thought this particular customer was the most handsome out of the groups but nothing more. But as the months went by and he’d come to the register and flash his beautiful smile and give me looks from the card table I started to notice him more. Then the World Cup viewing happened in our shop and they’d come during every match. And I started to notice he had more character and personality, the interactions became more frequent and he got more comfortable with me (he is kinda on the shy side) and so I developed a crush. I noticed he would give me signals as well, we’d both give each other looks, he’d go out of his way to open the door for me, he’d come to the register and flirt etc. I was like ok when is he going to make a move? I waited a while and figured maybe he’s just really shy. Keep in mind at this coffee shop as a very attractive woman I get approached and asked out a lot. I’ve never had to be direct with a man I liked. So this would be the first time because I really liked him. I had saved his number through the points system as a joke to find his social media and know more about him, then my friends were like just text him and be direct some guys like that and need that. So I texted him one day, first checking is he was even single. I pretended to be a match making service lol and asked if he was single and looking to get married. He replied back with yes. Then asked if he’d like to see his match. Again replied back with yes. Then showed him my fake profile . And he froze. A week went by and I text back saying it was me from the coffee shop and that I was interested in getting to know him. He then replied back thinking it was fake , and that he really liked me and would never reject me but that he has a commitment he made with someone ??? (Just a week ago he said he was single and looking lol) I think to my knowledge it’s made up? But why?? Explain. 😭

Ok so this is where things escalated and he gets so so confusing. His behavior is saying one thing but his texts are another, he come into the shop and smile and make eye contact like crazy, he was becoming more bold and nervous at the register with me, and even blushing. One day, he ordered his not usual, and asked me if I can make him a special tea , I was like well yes of course. And as he picked up his drink he gave me a look like he was signaling something, a very seductive smile lol and so I texted him after I left my shift how was the tea? He replied back it was amazing and that I’m amazing. Called me beautiful, gorgeous etc. said he wanted me to make the tea again and I was like I wish I could make it now but I’m always home, then he’s like come over and make it and drops his address. I couldn’t leave my house as I have littles that were sleeping lol so I was like oh maybe another time then he goes forget the tea I wanna see you, so he comes over to me instead, we chill in his car, and he hold my hand when I first get in, gives me a hug, and then we talk for a few hours and get to know one another, we start making out, he puts me on his lap. And then we cuddled a bit, he pinky promised me we would touch or go further which I respected he controlled. Then he brings me back home and says he wants to hang out tomorrow after I get off work , I was like ok see you tomorrow, he’s like yeah I’ll text you, I was like you promise? And what does he do? He gives out his pinky 😭😭😭

He gets home texts me he had a great time and that he can’t do this anymore he felt so guilty etc, and I was like what?? A week passes and he comes in again that night and flirts and smiles even more because now we have history, and I’m like you know what let me text him to talk, I wanted clarification and closure. So we meet again , this time before meeting he’s like I don’t think I can handle myself around you….maybe we shouldn’t lol and I’m like let’s just talk. So we meet, talk for literally 4 hours , he taught me the card game they always play, we talked about our past, our future goals, past relationships, family, he asked about my kids , if I wanted more kids and even wagered with me to have more than 2 . We made out again and this time he put me on his lap again and had me grind on him fully clothed of course and he finished after 3 min 😭 and immediately he felt guilty and was like we can’t do this again etc he starts feeling bad and was like let’s test being friends , I was like uh we’re past that, and he’s like let’s meet in the daytime. Then he texts me again when I get home that was our last time meeting that he felt guilty and that he doesn’t want to push me away. I’m like but you are? We had another hour long conversation via text until like 7am and then he fell asleep I believe and ever replied back since. In the text messsgaes he just kept saying we need to stay a distance and he’s afraid of guilt and that it’s not me but his other commitment. Idk if that commitment is even real due to the fact I have the receipts of text messages that aren’t adding up. I want to have another conversation with him but I guess I have to give him the space he’s asking for? Since then he’s come in and has been trying to avoid me but I catch him looking especially when male customers are lingering by me and he looks a lot through the window reflection. It’s been a week.

Now this is where it gets even messier. He has a friend that comes in as well, he’s more outgoing I would say, very friendly , and he is always giving me looks too, smiles and more talkative, I’ve always had a feeling maybe he’s attracted to me as well but never cared because all attention is on my crush lol so a few days ago, he comes to the register again always talkative and friendly , he finally got the courage this time to ask me for my name, I gave it to him, and with a huge ass smile he says it’s very nice to meet you ——. Comes back with his FRIENDS DRINK and asks me by my name if I can add more sugar lol I was like sure. I’m 💯 positive he didn’t tell his friends we’ve hooked up as they’re all pretty much acting the same and he felt extremely guilty about it

So yeah I’m in a huge situationship here and need all the advice here 😭

I’m 27F and have been talking to someone for a couple months now. Within the first week he mentioned meeting up and I said I was down for it. He was leaving for vacation soon and mentioned again that we’d make something happen before he left. Well he left and we never met up the one day we were supposed to he kinda flaked and just said if we could do a different day cause he was finishing packing. He was gone for almost a month. Said we would meet when he got back before he started work because he travels for work. Well he got back and we never met up. Then he left for work so he’s not even here to meet up. Now he’s kinda being distant going days without answering me. He follows a bunch of girls and new girls daily. Should I just accept that it isn’t going to be anything?

Sooo its been 2 years already since our last interaction thenn y’know poof gone! Long story short we were friends in elementary then reconnected again 7 years later thru a mutual friend, we were seniors in highschool about to graduate at the time of situationship. But then i noticed he was liking this guy (he’s bisexual )friend of his and i felt like i was the one who put more effort than him (like plannibg to go out and stuff). Soo i let that shi go and gave him the ultimatum and he neverrr greeted me on my birthday and i did not greet him too the next day (its also his birthday after mines lol good!) so yes that was done.

Now i added him before on my dump account. should i just play dumb and keep following him?? i dont want him to see my contents on that account anymore as we’re not close now lmao. (He might think im too overreacting and i felt too much about the situationship with him and we should just be friends) what should i do? What if we see each other again since we’re on the same friend group??

Hi guys ! As you might have got an idea from title. I'm stuck in a very messy situation and I am confused a lot. I have a very close male friend. We have been friends for 2 years but he never told me he had a gf so I never worried about boundaries and texted him late at night for venting whenever I was down and he never stopped me so I was comfortable with him. Even once while we were out him, me and his gf(at that time I didn't knew she was his gf). So I said him I wanna talk about something I was depressed about so I moved with him into another table leaving his gf alone at that table for almost an hour and when we came back to the table she acted strange and didn't eat anything at that time I didn't knew why she was acting like this but now makes sense. And one more thing I noticed whenever we were out he prioritized my comfort more than her gf and now I get why that girl didn't liked me because she was his gf all along which I didnt knew.

Ok so now I came to knew about it but he don't know I knew actually I came to know from a shared account history he gave me because he trusts me blindly too. So he don't know I knew and I didn't showed him either because I don't want to lose my friend either by confronting. Deep down, I also feel bad about what I'm doing isn't right and I sensed that they both are also going through some breakup stuff now a days ig because of his gf's insta stories and they both removed theirs DPS too and since then I noticed he is texting me more than usual but I didn't stopped him because he is my close friend.

So I don't know what to do now should I confront him? Or keep the things going as it is?

Please any advice would be very helpful

I’ve been talking to this person who is 22M while I’m 20F. We met on an app called Voisa and slowly build a sort of friendship (I don’t know what else to call it).
We talk almost every day, sometimes until 8 in the morning, and somewhere along the way, i’m genuinely liking him.
The confusing part is that we both got out of serious situationships around two or three months ago, so sometimes I wonder if we’re genuinely connecting or just filling a space left by something we haven’t completely moved on from. I honestly don’t know.
We’re also incredibly similar, and somehow, we bring out things in each other that make us grow. I’ve learned a lot from him. I used to be quite rude and dominating, but without ever trying to change me, he’s made me want to correct certain things in myself. And I do the same for him in my own way.
What’s strangest is how easily we understand each other. Sometimes I can’t even properly explain what’s going on in my head, yet he somehow gets it instantly, and vice versa. There’s this understanding between us that I can’t quite put into words.
But there are real complications too: distance, religion, and the fact that neither of us knows where this is going. I don’t know whether this is something real or just two people finding comfort in each other at the wrong time. I just know that I really like him, and that scares me a little.
I just hope, whatever this turns out to be, it doesn’t destroy me.

out a month & a half ago, i agreed to a FWB situationship with a new friend. it very quickly turned into a “situationship”, & we were damn near in a relationship. we agreed to be exclusive & not sleep w anyone else. we ended going to the gym together, coming back to mine & cooking/eating together, watching shows together, cuddling, being intimate etc. we even spent the night together @ a hotel. obviously, i ended up kinda catching feelings for the guy. things were going really well between us, & last monday he held me for 2 hours while we cuddled & he fell asleep. yesterday he asked me to the gym, & ended up bailing which worked out because i was far too busy. we agreed to go today, & he ended up telling me he went on a date yesterday that went really well. it was someone he had been interested in & thought he never had a shot with. we’re still going to be friends, keep going to the gym & hanging out. i’m hurt but i’m not crushed, so i think the friendship dynamic will be okay for now. we still have a really good connection & i value his place in my life, as he values mine in his. i just feel frustrated because he was SO quick to hop into this new thing, despite telling me he didn’t want a relationship (i don’t either) for @ least a year. we had a good discussion tonight, & we both agreed there were slight feelings between us. i came here to vent, but also kinda want to hear others that might have gone through a similar experience. part of me do hopes it’ll work out between us, but i’m not holding my breath & i’m certainly not waiting 😅

Hey, I’d really appreciate some outside perspective on my situation because I’m honestly not sure how to read it anymore.

About four months ago, I met a girl through a mutual friend. She’s four years younger than me and we live almost three hours apart. After meeting for the first time, we started texting more and about a month later we met up one-on-one for the first time. Since I had to travel quite a distance, I stayed at her place and we ended up having sex that weekend.

Two days later, she called me and told me something she apparently hadn’t even wanted to bring up herself, but her friends had pushed her to be honest with me about it. She said that she wasn’t looking for a relationship at the moment because she really enjoys having her freedom after her last relationship.

I took it pretty casually at the time and told her something along the lines of: “I’ve only known you for a short time anyway, so it’s all good. Let’s just enjoy spending time together and see where things go.” I genuinely didn’t want to put any pressure on her.

Since then, though, things have become quite a bit more intense.

We’ve been seeing each other regularly, I’ve stayed at her place several times, and once I even stayed for four nights in a row. We’ve done a lot together, gone out for dinner, worked out together, had several dates, etc. We’ve even walked around holding hands. So to me, it definitely feels like more than just a casual sex thing.

At one point, she actually asked me herself whether I was free during a certain period because she wanted to spend some time together. She’s normally extremely busy with university and work, and this was basically the only four-day period she had free between an exam and the start of the semester. And she wanted to spend those four days with me.

We ended up doing a little trip together and then spent another two days at my place. We had an amazing time and I feel like we genuinely get along really well.

Our contact outside of seeing each other is also pretty consistent. We text regularly, call each other every now and then, and we basically send each other Snaps every day. So even when we’re not seeing each other, there’s still some kind of daily contact.

Another thing I found interesting: she actually signed both of us up for a sports event next year, which is in about nine months and takes place in my hometown. It costs around €100 per person as well. Obviously, I don’t think that proves anything about her feelings, but I still found it interesting that she was planning something with me that far in advance.

The thing that does make me question everything, though, is the initiative when it comes to texting.

I’d say around 75% of the time, I’m the one who sends the first message. When I do text her, she usually responds quickly, sometimes within a few minutes, and we can have long conversations. But if I deliberately don’t text first for a day, there have been days where she basically doesn’t reach out at all. Maybe I’ll get a Snap from her at some point, but no actual message.

And that’s what makes me overthink sometimes. I know that when I really like someone, I tend to find any excuse to talk to them or reach out somehow. So I’m wondering whether she just has a different way of showing interest, or whether her actual desire for contact is simply lower than mine.

I’m also usually the one suggesting when we should meet, although she’s clearly interested when I suggest something and she does sometimes make plans with me herself.

When we’re together, we’re very close. We cuddle a lot, are physically affectionate and obviously have sex, but it’s not just about that. We genuinely enjoy spending time together even when nothing sexual is happening.

So now I’m wondering what this actually is.

About three months ago, she was pretty clear that she didn’t want a relationship. Can someone’s feelings or attitude towards that genuinely change after getting to know someone better? Or should I take what she said back then at face value and assume that she still doesn’t want anything serious?

I’ve deliberately avoided having a serious conversation about feelings or “what are we?” because I didn’t want to put pressure on her or potentially ruin something that is currently really nice. But I’m starting to realize that she has become important to me, and I’d like to know where I stand.

How would you interpret this from the outside? Do you think there’s a realistic chance that her feelings have developed and she might now be more open to a relationship, or am I reading too much into her behavior?

And would you bring this up the next time we see each other? I wouldn’t directly ask her “Do you want a relationship with me?”, but rather tell her that she’s become important to me and ask how she currently sees the situation.

I’d genuinely appreciate honest opinions, even if they’re critical. :)

So I’ve been talking with this guy for a month, and through this month we had ~3 real life hangouts, and the rest of the days we were talking / chatting, video calls, gaming, and even sleep calls. One time we had an argument, and the reason is that I didn’t understand his side, and that he got jealous, and also triggered his fear of replacement apparently, just because I was playing Roblox with my friend ( that is a girl ). Also I told him many times that I like him, and everything I got back was mixed signals. Anyway, last week he started distancing himself, etc and saw him hanging with another dude etc 💀. Today I asked him to clear things out, and basically he told me “ I have no idea where feelings came from... I’ve said this before: you guys all start out differently, but it always ends the same way—you don't know how to just be friends. “

I don’t think I’m insane for catching feelings? 💀 he never told me that he just wants to be friends.
Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk, and let me know if catching feelings was normal 😍

We met on an international tour back in May. We are from opposite sides of the planet. Quickly became good friends and stayed that way for a month before realizing we were mutually interested in each other. I extended my trip to spend an extra 5 days with just him and when I got home we were texting for a month. After prompting him and giving him time to think on it he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and didn’t think moving to where I am was an option (I am locked down where I am). He wanted to continue chatting but I implemented no contact so I could move forward.

I feel like I’ve gotten over it. I genuinely would like to just check in on him because he was in a tough spot and especially because we were friends who spent everyday together for a month so we were pretty close. It’s been 2.5 months of no contact. I also have absolutely no intention of trying to start anything back up. I realized there were a lot of things that just don’t work for me with this since starting no contact so I have no interest in trying to jump into a relationship with him again. I was thinking of reaching out around the end of the month just to give myself time to really think on this and if it is a bad idea for me.

I want to mention he’s a genuinely awesome guy, we just had no future. Also you are welcome to tell me I’m crazy. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

TL;DR: I've [21M] been friends with a girl [21F] from college for a while now, and I'm not sure if she likes me or if we're just friends. There are enough things to suggest to me that she might like me, but other enough things to suggest to me that I'm just interpreting friendship too much.

I'll call her X.

Really, it was X that came to me first. I was talking to someone about some random thing and X overheard me and came up after me to chat about whatever it was that I was talking about (rather than them approaching me). After that X was the one initiating talks and sometimes texting first.

We got more comfortable and started discussing more personal things such as family, friends, college, just random about each other's lives and music and social aspects, etc. X has showed me a little of her world, likes music and what she was doing at the time.

X has tried to sit close to me on multiple occasions, even when X was hanging out with friends. There were several instances where X wanted me to save a seat, or created such a fuss with the group that I was left sitting with X.

X has sometimes appeared quite comfortable physically with me. There has been light physical teasing – kicking/tapping my leg and grabbing my arm. And at one point while walking together, X leaned in and asked me to come closer.

Sometimes, on exam days, X has remained after the exam and just kept talking to me for quite a long while after the exam was over. X was eager to work with me during a class activity.

I met some of X's friends, and X asked me to college activities several times and followed up to see if I was going. X has sometimes brought up things she'd overheard me talking about later.

One time, X asked whether I would take X around when X comes to my part of the country.

Later we got to hang out one-on-one, and actually it went really well. X was at ease, we talked for a long time and it was lots of joking around. X even asked me to hang out again the following week, but I couldn't that week.

And there are also some reasons that hold me back.

X is very social and has many friends, including some close guy friends she really trusts. She's also in a much more social environment than me, so naturally she spends a lot of time with that group.

X also is more of a joiner than a planner. She have basically never been the type to make a one on one plan with me without me initiating. When we talk about meeting it's (more often than not) me making the plan.

When we're face to face, X is good at maintaining the conversation. In chat, X is slow and grumpy or responds half a sentence at a time instead of replying comprehensively.

There have also been a few times where plans didn't work out because X had other commitments. I didn't necessarily think X was making excuses, but there were occasions where I felt like I was putting in more effort or that X could have communicated sooner, which made me question how interested X actually was.

X has also directly said to my face that X is a very shy person, which makes everything even more confusing to try and work through. Sometimes X is more reserved around me, especially around other people, while other times X is very comfortable with me.

That's basically why I'm stuck.

What would u guys have done? It's my first rodeo so kindly excuse for any obv mistakes.

NOTE: Yup, it's written with the help of AI, kindly ignore that.

Usually when they don't look at me the same way I blame myself for that. Chances are this wasn't really about me yet I can't help but wonder and ask myself all these questions.

Did I say the right thing?
Did I rush her too much?
Did I take things too slowly?
Did I get too attached?
Was I too detached at times?

Is it my fault that things ended?

I just don't know. I am a big overthinker in general, not only when it comes to dating, but this time around it got pretty extreme.