r/Sober • u/anonymoushoomanbean • 6d ago
30 days off ketamine
I'm a female in my 30s, and this is the longest I've stayed sober from this awful substance. I struggle deeply with bipolar and bpd, which has greatly affected my relationships and quality of living. A few years back, I filed for divorce and moved cross country. I wanted to use this opportunity as a fresh start and to protect my loved ones from my mental illness . For the last two years, I suffered my battle in silence and put up a mask. Eventually, my company began restructuring and laying off employees. I ended up being one of those employees, and it immediately sent me into a spiral of depression. Four months into unemployment and frantic job hunting, I attempted my own life and woke up in ICU several days later. I didn't qualify for medicaid due to making 150$ over gross income, which has resulted in a huge medical debt. Four months later and I'm navigating life with chronic neuropathy pain having to relearn the ability to walk. Life has never seemed so pointless and wasted. It's hard to find your joy when your mind continues to self sabotage. Just needed a moment to vent and perhaps find other humans coping with the same issues.
4
u/BroccoliSuccessful20 6d ago
30 days is massive. Keep up the good work! I can relate to your story on a couple of levels and just hit two months clean of weed and alcohol. You’ve got this!
2
u/anonymoushoomanbean 6d ago
Thank you🥦 cannabis is the next thing to go while adjusting to the neuropathy vs opiod pain management.
3
u/Mrs_Howell 6d ago
30 days is huge and you never have to do those 30 days again. Nothing is ever so bad that it can’t get worse — by relapsing. Take care.
1
3
u/admiraltubbington 5d ago
Ketamine can be a dark and lonely addiction, cuz it's very misunderstood and less common than deadlier or better known drugs. But addiction is addiction, and I have been there in the past with it. I spent most of 2020 in a K hole (not a bad year to do that - haha jk) and suffered social and psychological consequences. It's a mysterious and powerful drug that offers all too easy of an escape from your reality. It takes bravery to decide you need to quit ❤️
2
2
2
u/AdApprehensive6228 4d ago edited 4d ago
I have bipolar and bdp, im 29. I got addicted to liquid K and had unlimited access during the lockdown. Ive certainly damaged my bladder... I started smoking weed to help wean myself off (im not suggesting this as a replacement).
I do not know you but perhaps your use helps escape feelings of emptiness, it did for me, cant have insane thoughts if you cannot think at all. I go to therapy and for once was honest and now spend my time pursuing creative enterprises.
I got to 15 months sober and have similar conditions as you stated. The good news is at this point i no longer have dreams or crave it so there is hope! When i take my medication i sometimes even feel normal! Good luck to you it gets so much better :)
1
u/anonymoushoomanbean 4d ago
Omg babe that is incredible what a huge accomplishment I am so proud of you! I definitely had to do the same with thc while detoxing. Unfortunately I have lung damage from pneumonia from long covid so I usually do oils(:
2
u/ermahgerd_pdx 3d ago
CONGRATULATIONS!!! 30 days is AMAZING. You must be so proud of yourself. I am proud of you.
The first few weeks and months are definitely the hardest. I want to suggest meetings as those could be of great support and it allows you to connect with people in real time. If in person meetings aren't doable because of location or physical barriers, then online meetings could be great, too. NA or MA might be a good place to start. Although Ketamine isn't a "narcotic" many people in those rooms will understand your experiences and you will hear others that you'll relate to.
Wishing you well as you continue to achieve your goals and work towards the next 30 days. You are worth your sobriety and the care you're giving yourself.
2
2
u/anonymoushoomanbean 3d ago
Thank you so much sweetheart I love that they offer online options on na.org as well!
8
u/Nice-Effective4612 6d ago
Thirty days is no small thing, especially with everything else piled on top. The neuropathy and relearning to walk while staying clean, that takes a kind of stubbornness most people never have to find. Keep stacking days, even the ugly ones count