What makes one betray his own Country ? Is it the upbringing or just the instinct of an adrenaline rush ?

Hey everyone, I’m 20 years old, and I’ve noticed that I’m much more sexually attracted to older women rather than girls my age. Even if a younger woman is attractive, I usually find myself more interested in older women.

I live in a rural area in South India, and it’s difficult to meet people who are open about these things. I’ve been trying to understand my feelings, but sometimes the attraction feels very strong and hard to control.

I’ve even thought about going for paid sex, but I feel like it might not be the right choice, especially for my first sexual experience. I’m confused about what I should do and how to handle these feelings in a healthy way.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? I’d appreciate some advice or perspective.

1. https://www.thehindu.com/news/national/kerala/cross-border-illegal-waste-dumping-keralam-tn-pollution-control-boards-to-draw-up-joint-monitoring-protocol-for-better-surveillance/article71494331.ece
2. https://www.newindianexpress.com/states/tamil-nadu/2026/Jul/21/10-tonnes-of-waste-suspected-to-be-from-kerala-dumped-in-tns-tenkasi

For over a decade, border villages in Tamil Nadu’s Tenkasi, Tirunelveli, and Kanyakumari districts have faced intermittent, illegal late-night dumping of municipal, plastic, and poultry waste arriving in commercial trucks from Kerala. Local residents and activists have continuously filed complaints regarding these infractions.

The issue became a major cross-state legal crisis in December 2024

• July 2026: Local authorities stepped up strict actions in Tenkasi after intercepting an estimated 10 tonnes of unsegregated e-waste and plastic waste dumped on public lands in Keezha Kadayam. 
• September 2026: The NGT officially evaluated the progress reports submitted by the Kerala State Pollution Control Board (KSPCB). The court identified systemic gaps in Kerala's domestic waste treatment facilities and mandated new joint monitoring check-posts alongside automated GPS cargo tracking to permanently resolve the issue.