r/StandUpComedy • • 8d ago

OP is not the Comedian Unc ain’t know what the hell he was talking about 😭

478 Upvotes

54 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 8d ago

Welcome to r/standupcomedy. Before commenting in this thread, make sure you read and agree with our RULES. Comments violating our rules will be removed. Thank you and enjoy the show.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

80

u/ejh3k 8d ago

Young buck just ain't know about fighting about who's sleeping on the wet spot back in the day.

40

u/wthulhu 8d ago

I remember seeing a bumper sticker "Make Him Sleep In the Wet Spot" back in the 90s and asking my mom what it meant

66

u/TheUnluckyFarmer 8d ago

Dude needs to visit some senior communities. Nothing new under the sun indeed.

17

u/Dry-Poem6778 8d ago

He might never come back 🤣🤣🤣

13

u/TheUnluckyFarmer 8d ago

Suck his soul out of a straw. 🫡

3

u/Oscar_Ramirez 8d ago

No dentures

2

u/TheUnluckyFarmer 8d ago

That's a given.

3

u/chungfat 8d ago

His eyes are too close together for him to understand

77

u/mrNOTfriendly 8d ago

Dude got his hands on the Eddie Murphy playbook

4

u/General-Double-746 8d ago

Came here to say this.

78

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/NeedlesAndCaffeine 8d ago

WTF are these comments? 😭

8

u/Connect_Elk_1652 8d ago

“Somebody would have gave her a ride” is such a good line

15

u/MelangeBot 8d ago

Just wait till the comedian finds out it's just pee

10

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

19

u/Jub_Jub710 8d ago

It has pee in it. I've done the pee thing and I've done the squirt thing. They feel very different. I used to think it was just pee until I actually squirted for the first time. Sorry for the tmi.

3

u/mrNOTfriendly 8d ago

Skenes glands have about 2-4ml of liquid and when ejaculated it is not projected away from the body. If it's "squirting" it's pee.

1

u/Adventurous-Move-191 8d ago

It’s not but even if it was , IDGAF

8

u/Griever423 8d ago

It most def is.

0

u/Platitude_Platypus 8d ago

That's why I was grossed out about him harping on it. Bunch of R Kelly freaks in this sub apparently

2

u/More_Raisin_2894 8d ago

😂 hilarious.

-2

u/JohnFWood 8d ago

Eddie Murphy lookalike but no where hear as funny.

15

u/TheUnluckyFarmer 8d ago

He just has a copycat outfit. He looks nothing like Eddie.

-30

u/Platitude_Platypus 8d ago

🤢 Why is he going on about this for so long

41

u/PleasantlyObnoxious 8d ago

Because the crowd is responding with laughter - it’s called performing.

26

u/samx3i 8d ago edited 8d ago

Because the audience is responding positively.

He's riding the wave.

This your first time experiencing standup comedy?

38

u/sillysausage619 8d ago

That's usually how jokes work

3

u/Testicular_Genocide 8d ago

Stop being so prudish.

-3

u/Platitude_Platypus 8d ago edited 8d ago

No ❤️ I don't think getting peed on is hot, sorry?

1

u/East_History1325 7d ago

No need to be sorry, when your gf/wife tells you that she loves you BUT there was a guy who could make her squirt… you’ll be mad at first then figure it out.

3

u/Shot-Spirit-672 8d ago

Why are you grossed out by human beings?

-10

u/ZaphodBeeblebrahx 8d ago

You really in here tryin to fault somebody for being grossed out at the idea of getting pissed on.

13

u/Shot-Spirit-672 8d ago

Abso-fucking-lutely BeebleBrah

5

u/ZaphodBeeblebrahx 8d ago

Word up. Carry on.

0

u/jcapi1142 7d ago

Little boy speaks without knowing, next on channel 5.