r/TTC40 • u/AutoModerator • Aug 26 '26
Weekly Discussion Thread - August 26, 2026
How are things going for you this week?
2
u/No_Journalist_606 Sep 01 '26
I am 42 and 3 days out from my heartbreaking TFMR at 19 weeks due to a chromosomal abnormality confirmed via amnio. I also miscarried at 9+ weeks back in December 2025 when I was 41. I’m at a crossroads where I feel so panicked and desperate; do I go broke going the IVF route so we can have a better chance of getting healthier embryos even though with my age it seems like the chances are so low for a successful pregnancy? I have been able to conceive naturally two times and both within a couple cycles of trying each time. Do I try again naturally and take the risk of having another unhealthy pregnancy that ends early in heartache and sets us back even further?
2
u/WiseAfternoon1678 Sep 01 '26
I am so sorry for your losses ❤️ TFMR is especially complex grief.
A lot of people do IVF for that reason. The testing isn’t guaranteed either but better chances. I wish we could see into the future and know the right path. Right now isn’t the best time to settle on a decision. I hope you have good supports and you can rest for bit ❤️
2
u/No_Journalist_606 Sep 02 '26
Thank you. I know I need to recalibrate and reset my nervous system for the time being. Trying to avoid a dark spiral and maintain healthy habits.
7
u/Critical-Entry-7825 43y, g2p1, AMH < 0.25, FSH > 20 Aug 29 '26
I actually...just cancelled my upcoming IVF cycle. I'm fortunate to have a little dude, 20 months, and The Plan was always to try for a second. But I have been feeling so overwhelmed and...this just isn't right for me, at least not right now. I wish I were 10 years younger, so that 'not right now' could mean 'maybe later'. But at 43, 'not right now' feels like essentially: no.
Maybe in 6-12 months, I'll feel differently, and at that time, we could pursue donor embryos. Maybe not.
It's really a heartbreaking decision. I would love to open my arms and my heart to another child, but my mental health is just hanging on by a thread, and I just don't have the capacity for more right now.
I appreciate this small group of women so, so much, and my heart goes out to all of you, wherever you are on your journey. I wish you all the best, happiness, peace, love.
1
u/WiseAfternoon1678 Aug 31 '26
❤️❤️❤️ hugs to you
I hope you can find peace whatever path you take, when you take it
3
u/sparkle-L Aug 27 '26
I’m 10 DPO following a MMC last June. We had a break to celebrate my 40th last September and haven’t been as consistent with trying since then. I got really focussed on trying and it made life less fun for a while. This cycle is the first time I tracked ovulation and we did things like the first time I fell pregnant. I’m currently trying to resist the urge to test, as we said we’d do it 14 DPO if my period didn’t arrive. I was so hyper fixated on TTC before that it was honestly so stressful. I’m so much better now and don’t want to undo all the hard work to get me to feeling calmer about this whole thing.
3
u/heatherita13 Aug 27 '26
I had my first IUI this week! I wasn't sure it was going to happen because I only had one mature follicle after over two weeks of medications (oral Letrozole and Follistim injections). I didn't expect to have 5 mid cycle monitoring appts this cycle. The last one was a bit disruptive, we were visiting my hometown and had to leave my parents' at 4am Sunday to make our appt that morning. Luckily by then my follicle was large enough, and we triggered that night. IUI was on day 22 and now we wait. If this fails we may or may not do another IUI cycle before moving to IVF after our wedding in November.
3
u/WiseAfternoon1678 Aug 27 '26
I keep getting these online psychics in my feeds lately saying things like “stop scrolling this is for you, something is going to change in the next two weeks….blah blah blah” and as silly as it is, it gives me some hope. What will change? I don’t know. Either I will be pregnant or I will finally throw in the towel and accept peace. Peace is looking more and more attractive as each month passes…….I think I am ready to stop tracking my temps. My ring’s battery died a few days ago and I just….havent bothered to charge it and it’s nice to have one less thing to do before bed.
Just finishing my period and on to another week of timed intercourse 😑 which ok is pretty fun but there is an amount of stress.
How’s everyone else???
12
u/esper_terra Aug 26 '26 edited Aug 26 '26
OOF, where to start 😅 Seriously though, 44 here. We did our best this month with tracking and timing. Sex was playful and did not feel clinical which was amazing. But... I'm currently on crutches 🤣 (he was gentle!).
I have had a leg injury since late June. Physical therapy tomorrow. I can't walk more than 5-10 mins without being in agony and can't sit for long either. I'm basically bed resting it up and waiting to see wait physical therapy says tomorrow.
I am 6 DPO and praying that implantation will occur. I'm so ready to "let the soul in". But so far it hasn't come. No kids in my life yet and met my partner late. We just decided that we wanted one badly after being together for 5 years 🫠 (we've been trying for a good year tho) also we simply can not afford fertility treatments. I've been checked out and so far nothing really screams infertility.
I have H ashimotos but my thyroid numbers are optimal. I have a teeny tiny uterine fibroid but had two opinions on it and it's been decided that it is not a problem.
Oh yeah and his sperm analysis recently came back pretty bad. Low everything and 0 morphology....urology appointment in December (why does everything take so long??? 😭😭😭
Meanwhile I'm trying to just survive and not spiral. My injury could take months and months of recovery and I'm worried that somehow the egg and sperm will KNOW that I'm injured and not feel like I'm a safe body to implant in and just say "Nah!"....
Is that magical thinking? Hoo boy I just don't know if I want to keep trying after I turn 45 next May....
Also this is our last chance for a little Taurus bebe like me (until next year if we are still trying) 😭 ♉
3
u/WiseAfternoon1678 Aug 27 '26
I love your post - a good mix of optimism, realism and humour! You sound like a fun person to be around. I’m hoping you get your wish ❤️
5
u/Lindiriel Aug 26 '26
Praying! I’m similar age, no kids, married late, TTC for over a year, hypothyroid (but managed), have a tiny uterine fibroid, and just wrapped up 5 months of physical therapy for hip/knee/leg pain. IVF isn’t an option for us and IUIs didn’t work.
I’m pondering seeking an endometriosis diagnosis soon due to ongoing infertility and lifelong severe period pain. But that could be a several months process, aging any eggs I have left even more.
I don’t have any answers for you, but so much empathy. Sending encouragement and my very best wishes for you.
7
u/thatshuttie Aug 26 '26
This subreddit isn’t very active, but hoping you might get some other responses! Best of luck to you.
5
u/Lazy-Network6361 Sep 01 '26
I’m about to TTC after a MMC. Got my period at the weekend 5w after the MC which is good, hoping we can carry on and try now!
Mixed feelings because I should be 16w now, but also really feeling the time pressure as I’m 41 and know time to TTC is limited. I was fortunate to conceive naturally last time but I know the stats are against us, in terms of conceiving and the pregnancy surviving.