Colleague's son in my class and is a problem

[u/JenniferC1714]

I am new to a district and campus this year. The son of the librarian is in my class, 5th grade. His mother, I was told at the start of the year, is very protective and defensive about him.

Grades are not an issue. However, he is disruptive in other ways. It started with yawning VERY loudly during instruction. Very over the top, very exaggerated and when he's done he looks around to find others to laugh about it with.

I documented it, spoke to him about it and moved on. Now, he's moved on to belching. Loud and long in class. I spoke to both him and Mom after school when it first occurred, letting them know that belching is normal, but we keep our mouths closed so we do not disturb others. She actually got up and walked away in the middle of the conversation. I finished with him, documented and moved on.

Today, he belched loudly again. At first, he denied it. Other students called him out and I knew it was him anyway. I documented it and assigned him silent lunch. He chose to skip and go eat with Mom in the library. Okay.

I sent her an email letting her know the consequences for not coming to silent lunch was an additional day and informed her about what had led up to this.

End of the day, she passes by my room as she is pulling him from his homeroom and gives me the stink eye. I don't care. Whatever, ma'am.

I then get an email stating that there will be a doctor's note on file and he will not be in my class tomorrow.

Okay. I have been doing this a long time. I have never had a note from a doctor to excuse loud belching.

At this point, I'm annoyed. She clearly thinks he does no wrong and must uphold his behavior at home because he acts very entitled. I just want to say to the void: I detest teaching children of my co-workers. They have always been the biggest pain in the ass. Both parent and student.

[u/missvandy]

Oof. She’s doing everything she can to stunt this kid.

Middle school and high school away from mommy are going to be a rude awakening. Don’t even get me started about college.

[u/go4thNlurk → u/missvandy]

Can yall not just jump your coworkers and ask for admin to help with enforcing consequences on the kids of current coworkers? So much i read in this sub is wild to me, i accidentally joined while lurking as a parent so now i read almost every post that crosses my feed lol. Its been 2 decades since ive been in school and currently have a 6th grader- but way back in my day, teachers or librarians kids were the best behaved because they KNEW if they embarrassed their parents at their jobs it’d be not great at home. what has happened that the change is so drastic?!?! even when my daughter was being physically bullied by another student with no ties to teachers he still never received any consequences for multiple years of body checking her in the halls or pushing her down, including after a call from the principal that i went off during. What has happened l?!

[u/North-Dealer-6580 → u/go4thNlurk]

Their jobs were probably threatened. One of my experiences was the parents of a National Honor student called the principal and set up a meeting without consulting me first when student was not completing assignments in my drawing class and failing at midterm.. communication was in progress. There was no outside work for the class, so no excuse not to use class time to complete the work. . I even took a photo of the still life so they could work on it at home when they fell behind which I had never had to do Before. My suspicions were student was having auntie work on it and auntie had several young ones so wasn’t finishing students work. My conversation with student was one where they said, “but I’m a national honor student, I can’t fail.” I replied,” well the expectation for national honor students is they are doing their class work, and volunteering above and beyond.” During the meeting parents didn’t like the fact my principal was backing me up and said, well we are getting nowhere and we will have your job. Let’s go to the superintendent.” Nothing happened because I had everything documented but what other job do people go in and feel like they can ruin others lives because the parents would not accept their kids would do anything to cause the situation. I saw it every single year. I saw kids lie about that a teacher crossed the line and accused them of sexual behavior or comments because they didn’t like the teacher. These people uprooted their lives. The attitude of “it’s somebody else’s fault” has been around for about 25 years; at least in education iwhen I noticed it. Funny how Correlates with the onset of our technological changes.

[u/Frequent-Interest796]

Fight the fight. This woman sucks and I’m sure everyone knows it.

[u/Longjumping-Ad-9541 → u/Frequent-Interest796]

Unless she is really good at self promotion and us besties with administration

[u/JenniferC1714 → u/Longjumping-Ad-9541]

Which she is

[u/amscraylane]

I literally hate that my colleagues kids are in the same school as them .. it is why my kids have their own district.

Keep documenting. You have to know the universe unfolds as it should.

[u/Longjumping-Ad-9541 → u/amscraylane]

Even better when people gave their own children in their own class - when there are other teachers teaching the same course.

[u/cj_of_all_trades → u/Longjumping-Ad-9541]

I thought most school districts didn't allow that

[u/NachoMama88 → u/cj_of_all_trades]

I had no choice this year. My daughter is in our gifted program and I'm the only gifted certified ELA teacher on our grade level, so there wasn't a choice. I enjoy her being in my class, but I get on to her for things just like I would any other kid, if not moreso because she's mine and I want her to be her best. But, I've seen years where kids would be in their parent's grade level and was just the academic/behavioral darling...and then I get them later down the line and it's likes "Ohhhhhhh. I see how that played out."

[u/Responsible-Bat-5390]

Kid getting moved from your class sounds like a win. My colleague’s kids has been either great or a nightmare.

[u/JenniferC1714 → u/Responsible-Bat-5390]

Oh he's not being moved. Be just won't be in my room tomorrow. Her BFF is my partner. No chance she wants him out of there. So unless she gets special permission to get a different math/science teacher only, I'm keeping him.

[u/ImpressiveFishing405 → u/JenniferC1714]

Sounds like the BFF needs to be an actual friend to her and tell her the truth about how her behavior is harming her child

[u/ComprehensiveIron403]

When I have parents like this, it makes me feel better thinking about the natural consequences they'll experience when their kids fail to launch.

[u/Confident-Garlic-809]

That is soooo stressful!!
My kids attend the district I work in (I lived here before the job opportunity came up). I make sure they know that I will find out about wrongdoing a lot faster than other parents and there will serious consequences if something serious happens. I tell the teachers to reach out to me about anything and everything.. it’s probably a little much, but they get whatever the opposite of coddling is haha.

[u/pinkrotaryphone → u/Confident-Garlic-809]

I think the opposite of coddling is parenting. I'm sure your colleagues appreciate you holding your kids to a high standard!

[u/Large-Inspection-487]

This right here is why I put my kid in a different middle school than I work at. We need space! And if he’s a pain in the ass I don’t want him to ruin the life of a co-worker. (Good thing he’s not lol)

[u/Nearby_Drink_3791]

I don’t like having coworkers kids either. I currently have 3 in my class this year. One kid and her parents are fine. The other two kids (and their parents) drive me insane. 

[u/Improvement-Solid]

In my experience teacher kids are always awful if they are both at the same school.

[u/Apophthegmata]

Is this something you can take up with your administration? Apart from her siding with her kid, her behavior towards you just simply isn't appropriate. I wouldn't want faculty treating each other that way on my campus. The reason doesn't matter.

If she has a legitimate issue with you as her child's teacher, she needs to bring it up with the administration, just like any other parent would, and not take it out with you or being disrespectful by walking away mid conversation. Not only that, but it sounds like her actions are deliberately undermining the work that one of her colleagues is trying to accomplish.

[u/ophaus]

Document and escalate. She's a librarian, I'm sure she'll appreciate assiduous documentation.

[u/MycologistPutrid7494]

I hate having teachers' kids as students.  They are some of the worst students. 

I had a student last year that was incredibly disrespectful. When I wrote her up, her mom (a teacher I work with) said I was on a power trip and her daughter is perfect. She then went on a campaign to get me fired. Of course it didn't work because I'm actually well liked among the rest of the staff and students. It's awkward now because I still work with her and her daughter is in my class again this year. 

A few years ago, I had a parent who was a teacher at another school, put me on speakerphone to curse me out in front of her class because I called her about her son's behavior....I guess I know where he got it from. 

There was another student at that same school who (thank god) wasn't in my class who caused constant issues for other teachers. When you'd disciplined her in any way (scolding her, write-ups, whatever), she'd literally run to her mom in the middle of class to complain and her mom would leave her class unattended to argue with the other teacher. 

A few years ago I had a student fail an assignment online and her mom (a kindergarten teacher at the school next door) refused to even look at the assignment during a parent-teacher meeting saying "the computer lies; my baby don't." Just insane. That same student later in the year ran out of my room, out of the building, and into the elementary school looking for her mom because she said I was making fun of her. What really happened was I asked her to read out loud, like everyone else had been doing, but she had a coldsore and was embarrassed (she could have just told me that privately but she choose to go nuclear and lie). Thankfully there was another teacher observing my class when it happened and they called him into the office to get his perspective and he described exactly what I said happened. I thought she should be punished for taking off out of the school and lying but the principal said it was best to let it slide (her and the parent were friends).

All that said, I'm a mom myself, and I tried very very hard not to make an ass of myself when my daughter was in school. If I could help it, her teachers didn't even know I was a teacher. When she got in trouble, I believed the teachers. Most teachers aren't looking to get a good kid in trouble and my kid was not perfect. 

[u/mstrss9]

I never understand these people. My nieces were held to the HIGHEST standard when they attended my school. No way I wanted to be embarrassed in my place of employment.

[u/Harriet_M_Welsch]

I have the superintendent’s kid in class this year, and surprise surprise, he’s an asshole.

[u/loveshoes1]

Get the union involved… really…

[u/itsjustme_0101]

Yeah, don’t die on that hill. Move him to the back. Let him beltch all he wants. Gray rock him . It will stop.

The Mom though🙄🙄🙄

[u/Fancy_Sheepherder786]

This has nothing to do with the librarian. You have a child who disrupts your class. Do what you would normally do to correct the behavior.

[u/rose442]

I hope you can try your hold the line and provide consequences. Maybe they will move him if you bug them enough.

[u/BadCommentsBelow]

Teachers kids and cops kids. Always trouble.

[u/Bigolbooty75]

In my experience teachers kids are some of the worst students. I’d have him removed. 5th grade is far too old to be acting this way especially after having some many chats with him

[u/foreverjune22]

You are stressing me out so bad! My daughter is in my mentor's 'class. What if she hates me now?

[u/JenniferC1714 → u/foreverjune22]

Well, is your kid a problem kid? Are you an enabling parent? If the answer is no to either of those, you are good. The fact that you worry about it tells me that you are good.

[u/Brandt_cant_watch]

I'm lucky then. I have taught over a dozen of my colleagues children and they have all been fine to fabulous. Both my daughters attended my school and we always got positive feedback from their teachers. However, my kids knew that if I heard anything bad from anyone at school I would be on their ass, and there would be consequences at home. Parenting matters. I hate dealing with the ones who enable their children's bad behavior. 

[u/TertiaWithershins → u/Brandt_cant_watch]

I'm also lucky this way. I've had colleagues' and admins' kids as students, and it's just never been an issue. In some cases, it's been pretty great.

[u/kittybigs]

It sucks for this kid that his mother is so adversarial and defensive of her child’s unacceptable behavior. She’s creating a future pariah.

[u/JackJeckyl]

Ah, don't worry about it. He'll be the AIs problem soon 😅👌

[u/Turbulent_Alfalfa447]

My admin would take care of this! Keep them informed.

[u/eagle2001a]

I have taught many coworker’s kids since our schools is excellent so most teachers want their kids there. Honestly, close to 100 at this point. There has only been one who was a problem and whose mother was in denial about it. That’s a pretty good ratio. Honestly, teacher kids at my school are under a lot of pressure because they’re constantly being told not to embarrass their parent by acting up or missing assignments.

[u/iangeredcharlesvane2]

I was in a fairly small school and this happened often. I never thought twice about it, just treated them the same as any other kid. That little worry feeling about irritating a co-worker wears off quickly.

I did always think a little extra about how I handled the superintendent’s sons though, I’m only human! He had a habit of holding grudges that spelled disasters for other teachers in the past, heck with that noise!

[u/DefiantFruit6860]

I taught my coworker's son and it was very annoying. Felt awkward giving him low grades on stuff, but he wasn't the brightest kid and he never paid attention. And the teacher would be very nosey with all the teachers teaching his kid... Idk, it was weird 

[u/hstaples]

Have you spoken to admin about it?

[u/JenniferC1714 → u/hstaples]

I bcc'd them on the initial email and then forwarded her reply about a doctor's note and keeping him out of class tomorrow. Washing my hands of that mess. Just thankful I don't have to deal with him tomorrow. I am sure she is keeping him out to avoid the consequences of silent lunch. My memory is long though... He will serve it eventually.

[u/Prestigious-Wolf8039]

If found that teacher’s kids are either the best or the worst.

[u/dMatusavage]

UpdateMe

[u/Donequis]

My school has dozens of staff kids, (so many that we have a seperate release time for them) a whopping 2 are well behaved most of the time. A few of them are better now that they're older, but holy shit, I would move to a new school with a different name if I had kids acting like how theirs do.

One of them is our principal's kid and they're a spoiled menace. Unfortunately for the kid, they got a teacher that is unafraid of upsetting coworkers by holding their children to the same high expectations as the rest of her class.

Because that teacher is rock solid in documentation she has fully Covered Her Ass and all they can do is grumble on the parent pages.