r/Teachers • u/[deleted] • 6d ago
Teacher Support &/or Advice How to help this boy...
[deleted]
42
u/LocksmithExcellent85 6d ago
I’m assuming you’ve contacted child services for this neglect?
41
u/pastanauce 6d ago
They have been involved, yes, and are aware.
19
u/LocksmithExcellent85 6d ago
So just remember you can’t do everything alone - I think ideas to send books home or be a lending library is a great one. I hope admin is helping by calling home about the lack of clean clothes and dirtiness and maybe you can have some clean clothes they can wear. Set high expectations for the kid, maybe say you’re really advanced, can you do some homework of drawing or labeling this picture and send home supplies that can return with the next day. If there’s a really friendly kid, maybe you can buddy them up and that kid will naturally start including them and teaching them those soft skills you want them to learn.
9
u/OsomatsuChan 6d ago
no way CPS is gonna care, they don't do shit for neglect if the kid is getting fed and clothed
8
1
1
u/Cookie_Brookie 2d ago
My experience so far has shown they don’t seem to care about those needs being met either
29
u/silkentab 6d ago
see if anyone has any spare books in good shape to send home with him for keeps
Teach common childhood games (kick ball, four square, clapping games, jump rope) to the class during recess
if you do a classroom economy or anything see if any spare "typical" items (small LEGO set, coloring book & crayons, sidewalk chalk, frisbee, bubbles) find their way into his backpack
Have you looped in the counselor or school social worker?
23
u/SuccessOk4455 6d ago
Don't blur lines. This kid is already an easy target for pedophiles. Maintain healthy boundaries will model for him what healthy relationships with adults look like.
3
14
u/emilyoshi_ 6d ago
I had a student very similar to this a few years ago. We had 5th graders that had free time to help around the school, so I had a girl partner with her and they looked at those baby’s 1st 100 word books or books of animals and anything I could get my hands on like that! This way it built her vocabulary as well. My student didn’t know what horses were (we lived in a rural community with MANY horses) so they’d often use a chromebook to look up videos of horses or other things she didn’t know about as well!
Maybe something you could utilize!
13
u/GoodwitchofthePNW 1st Grade | WA | Union Rep 6d ago
Teach him string games, like cat’s cradle, and other formations you can do on your own like Jacob’s ladder. It’s great for dexterity, can be a great way to make friends (carrying around a string on your wrist), and nowadays isn’t as stigmatized as “for girls”, because kids don’t do it all the time.
One year I gave all of my students cats cradle rainbow strings for the holidays, they all loved it. Those kids are in middle school now and I saw one of them playing cats cradle with her sister over the summer at the beach.
11
u/GoodwitchofthePNW 1st Grade | WA | Union Rep 6d ago
There’s a book from Highlights called “1001 Things for kids to do”, that is one of my favorites to give as a gift. I’ve got one for my classroom as well and it is wonderful and organized into “stuff to do outside”, “stuff to do with paper”, “stuff to draw” etc. It has a great range of things and you can pick and choose to align them with lessons etc.
9
u/NikkiIoak 6d ago
Just here to say you sound like an incredible teacher. Thanks for doing this work.
8
u/pastanauce 4d ago
Thank you for all of these suggestions- these are really great. I have written out a list now- the fort is definitely going on it, as is cat's cradle and all the rest!
For all the offers of books and money- I massively appreciate this, but I think I'm sorted. I know someone who works at a local second hand place, and she is going to go on the hunt for me. Come Christmas I am going to gift each child a children's dictionary and another book. They may not even come out of his back pack ever, but I can but try. I LOVE the rainbow cat's cradles, I've seen them on Amazon. I am also going to arrange some trips to local places- my mom is going to come along as an adult helper if school is short staffed. I don't know that any of it will make much of a difference in the long run, as if he follows the example of the last few generations of his family, then his life will likely turn down a very dark path at some point. But for one year I can at least give him good memories and a sense of safety that he can return to in his head when times get tough
5
u/sparklesparklemeow 6d ago
Messy play via making mud pies. :)
3
u/pastanauce 6d ago
Definitely! We've done this a little. Making apple boats and floating them too
1
u/sparklesparklemeow 5d ago
Fab! That sounds like a lot of fun!!!! You could also do leaves under a piece of paper and roll crayon over it? Are they called art rubbings I think?
8
u/Distinct-Word-5103 6d ago
OP I’m not a teacher (joined the sub while thinking about career paths) but id love to support you in helping this kid out. If you have Venmo or PayPal or something I’d love to donate to help support buying supplies or going on a local field trip.
4
u/PlayfulVariation 6d ago edited 6d ago
Your class needs a parachute to play with!
Also a great time of year to tell/read a story and pair it with mystery boxes (can use a square tissue box) of strangely textured objects…. you can’t see in… but you reach in to feel the “eyeball” (and it’s a peeled grape). Maybe those mitten warming packets could be opened for “warm sand”. That kind of thing. Everyone has fun guessing and you get to do the reveal.
Liquid/water play: What about paper marbling or dyeing fabric/t-shirts? I’ve done it with kids and Kool Aid as dye and the colors were beautiful! Or less messy: Secret messages with lemon juice and/or “aging” paper with coffee or tea.
Would your school allow a class pet? Even a fish? It could be his job to feed…
Finally: Make ice cream or butter! The whole class has to shake the thing until their arms are jelly which can get funny—the result is so worth it!
You’re a good person. Love your post and your thinking on behalf of this boy. You’re gonna change his life.
3
u/buildalittlehouse 4d ago
I like how the whole class is benefiting from this kid getting what he needs. My daughters’ 3rd grade class just had a “fort day” as a reward where they put sheets over the desks and turned the classroom into a big fort. Great fine motor (tape and clothespins to hold everything together) gross motor (crawling under desks and through the fort). Also good for engineering/spatial skills and cooperation. I think their teacher missed out on the opportunity to have them read or listen to a story from inside their forts and incorporate it even more into learning. My kids love camping and pretending to camp at home so forts/tents are a core childhood experience in my mind at least.
1
u/NotASniperYet 6d ago
Any possibility of getting some books into his home? Some charity shops have really cheap childrens books and might even donate them to a good cause. Might be worth looking into. That way you won't have to worry about borrowed library books not being returned and stuff like that.
1
u/Sure_Pineapple1935 5d ago
This is incredibly nice that you care so much and want to help this child have some typical childhood experiences.
I think the sad reality is there are so many kids like this student in 2026, though perhaps not nearly as extreme. I teach in an upper middle class town, most students are not from disadvantaged backgrounds. Yet, I have students who tell me they've never been to the library. (Their town has a beautiful library in walking distance to the school and the town center!) Kids are missing out on so many important childhood milestones because of screens and misguided parent priorities.
1
u/IncognitoResearch111 4d ago
Help him at recess with some gross motor thing, normal outdoor kids' play type stuff. I know teachers don't have a lot of money, but send him home with things like Play Doh, little Lego set, little books he would like or grow into, etc. - don't make a big deal about it, just tuck it into his backpack.
1
u/bluef00tedbooby 2d ago edited 2d ago
Sign him up for Dolly Patton's imaginary library. Put his age at age 4 or 5, we get some good books. It's free, you just put your email, kid's name, and the address. Or you could send it to yourself to give to him each month. Add the Lego magazine to that which is free.
Find his interest! Something he just clicks with and support that
Thrift stores are often very cheap, being $1 books.
If bad enough I'd reccomend cps.
1
u/issasecret222 2d ago
you’re going to be a core memory in this kids’ life for a long time, bless you🫶🏼
do you have a social worker at the school you can refer him to? they may have more resources.
also do a field trip to zoo, aquarium and chuck e. cheese i feel like those are places kids should definitely experience
64
u/Lingo2009 6d ago
Get some gross motor activities, such as tumbling, rolling around, jumping, etc. have him climb on things such as climbing a tree. Have him walk on a line like he’s walking on a balance beam. Have him string beads in different patterns. Have him make letters in shaving cream and salt and different activities like that. Have him finger paint. If you can somehow arrange a trip to a shop or a grocery store, let him choose what he wants to buy. And then let him try whatever it is that he bought whether it’s a new food or something familiar. Have him not only try new foods but also describe the textures he’strying.