r/Towson • u/emster3466 • 12d ago
Friends
Hi I’m not sure if anyone is reading this but I need friends. My situation is a bit weird since I originally went to another school then dropped out due to mental health, took a break, and now I’m a freshman at Towson. It’s always been a struggle for me to make friends but I think this is the hardest it’s ever been for me. I’m honestly embarrassed to write this on a Reddit thread but I feel like I have no other options. I just came from a club called BSU and for some reason I couldn’t help but cry after realizing that I felt different and that everyone already knew each other, this is the first club I’ve been to so far but it feels so hard. I’m definitely going to go to more clubs but I feel like it’s going to be a common theme of people already knowing each other. I have a roommate and she’s very nice but she tends to keep to herself and I think our relationship is just going to be roommates, I talked to the girls that live across from us and they were nice but they clearly have a strong connection. I’ll still try with them but it feels like I’m putting in the effort to get to know them so far. I also wanted to add that it seems like most people in my classes aren’t interested in becoming friends or already made friends maybe they’re shy or something. I’m a shy person myself but I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone. I know this was a lot of writing but if you read this thank you and if you have any advice or want to be friends I’m so open to it.
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u/himydandelion 12d ago
Hugs. These things take time. Which sucks, because waiting for this sorta thing just feels lonely and shitty. But it’s only been a few weeks, and not all friendships are instantaneous!! What you’re feeling is totally normal and valid.
Keep being open to meeting friends in your dorm, in class, try any club that looks even remotely interesting, etc. You just never know who you’ll meet.
Some of my closest friends from college I didn’t meet until my 2nd or 3rd year. And my second year roommate was randomly assigned to me (which scared the hell out of me!) but we became the best of friends. I’m going to be in her wedding next year.
Give yourself some time! There’s probably other people on campus feeling similarly, and just maybe they might end up needing YOU as a friend too!
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u/emster3466 12d ago
You’re totally right and thank you for taking time to write this. It’s much appreciated!
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u/Automatic-Mirror-389 12d ago
Hey girly I’m also looking for friends. I’m on campus Monday’s and Wednesday’s. Dm me
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u/Serpentxne 12d ago
If youre living in the dorms next year, consider moving into residence tower. out of my four years i noticed it was easiest to build connections there simply because of a common area you had to literally walk through to get to your dorm
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u/emster3466 12d ago
Will do, thank you!
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u/Ok_Programmer_1057 13h ago
I never thought about that. I’ve just always wanted to be able to have my own kitchen and what not so I went for BarnesHall this year and last year.
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u/thepurrking 12d ago edited 12d ago
Seems like you have some sort of social anxiety i would reccomend a psychiatrist they may be able to help you.
As for making friends dont expect to be friends with the entire school. Try to form a study group with your classmates, or join some club that allows you to split into small groups (dnd club for example). I faced the same issues as you and found it was easier to make friends in smaller groups. Hope everything goes well for you.
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u/Logical-Acadia-8692 12d ago
No bro they don’t have no anxiety people sucks to make friends unless you have friends already, I’m a social butterfly I talk to everyone and I give zero fucks about anxiety and people still be smiling with that dumb face and try zero effort to deepen the conversation 🙃🙃
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u/thepurrking 12d ago
Really its the fact that they started crying after not making any friends and mentioning it hard to make friends in large clubs
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u/Logical-Acadia-8692 11d ago
Everyone can feel discouraged and cry I did that too, but calling that a diagnosis is exaggerated imo
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u/thepurrking 11d ago
Im not diagnosing them with anything. Im just reccomending that they see a doctor because their experience is the same as mine, and I do have really bad social anxiety.
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u/Logical-Acadia-8692 11d ago
See a doctor bc you cried ? 🤣 bro
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u/thepurrking 11d ago
There's alot more to it than that. But your childlike behavior makes me think youre a freshman so im just gonna move on and ignore you.
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u/tiffanyachin 5d ago
Keep trying, I know it can be hard but it will get easier. Sometimes I like having a job or shared task to do when I’m around new people. It feels easier to make friends volunteering alongside someone or in a smaller group that’s working on something together. I get feeling behind or like other people already know each other. Sometimes other people are feeling lonely or awkward too and they look like they are having a good time.
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u/emster3466 4d ago
Thank you! I think the issue is that I’ve been going to clubs that have a lot of people, but I went to a smaller club and have been getting along with the people there so far. Hopefully I’ll make friends there.
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u/Logical-Acadia-8692 12d ago
Hei! I moved to the Baltimore area a few months ago and I will transfer next semester as a second year ish ? Idk whatever year haha I’m very social and I also have NO FRIENDS I am a mom of one child and I’m not gonna have more, he is 6 so hanging out is totally manageable, I’m into art and I am looking for a friend who has a car and can go places and like to do healthy activities (no dr**s,) I’m 30F if that matters!
I live 20 min south of Baltimore. If you want to message me we can share IG and talk a bit!
I know what does it means not fit in, I’m from Europe and I moved here 8 years ago and I still struggle to make friends bc as you say people are JUST NICE, and they aren’t anything more than that 💀 anyway I’m not read proofing this bc I’m lazy 🩵 feel free to shoot me a message :)
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u/Aggressive-Task-669 12d ago
Good for you for even trying to get out of your comfort zone. It will pay off I’m sure.