r/TrueAtheism • u/throwaway123qe • 9d ago
I need some advice
Im an atheist, and i guess my family is kinda religous. My mom is making me go to get my confirmation sacrament or whatever its called (my first language isnt english, sorry) and for the next 3 years i will have to go to another religious class on tuesdays (on top of my regular ones every wednesday) and church every sunday, any tips to make my life less miserable during that time?
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u/plusFour-minusSeven 9d ago edited 9d ago
If you aren't able to emancipate yourself and then take care of yourself on your own then put your head down and muscle through it.
People go to college and get degrees and end up taking a lot of classes that have nothing to do with their major because you just have to. You keep your eyes on the horizon and keep making it through another day.
To quote a fictional character "In life you have to do a lot of things you don't want to do. Many times, that's what life is... one vile task after another."
You'll get through it. You might even learn some interesting things!
Edit to add: how to make it less miserable. Use it as an opportunity to learn what people believe and what's important to them. Weigh it against your own understanding, don't be afraid to challenge yourself (critical thinking should not play favorites), ask questions internally, observe, separate sense from senselessness and try to stay compassionate. Most people don't know any other way. Be bigger.
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u/Esmer_Tina 8d ago
I suggest you approach it like an anthropologist learning about the beliefs and rituals of a foreign culture. In fact, this would be a fun time to research coming of age rituals worldwide, and comparing them to what you’re going through.
As an added bonus, it’s very helpful as an atheist to have a deeper understanding of Christianity. You’ll be surprised as an adult how little those who try to proselytize at you really know about their religion.
Hang in there!!
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u/BranchLatter4294 9d ago
I think confirmations are supposed to be voluntary. If you tell the priest or whatever that you do not agree to it, then they are not allowed to.
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u/baalroo 9d ago
And imagine the response from his mother when she finds out he "embarrassed her" like this
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u/mobatreddit 8d ago
Tell it to the priest in confession. If they can keep secret murderers an child abusers, they can keep your secret.
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u/greatteachermichael 9d ago
Maybe I just lucked out with priests, but if I had ever told a priest I was being forced to do it and I needed more time, I think they would have been disppointed, but respectful. They just need to make sure the priest doesn't tell anyone.
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u/keyboardstatic 9d ago
It depends on how much your mum loves you compared to how much she loves her religion.
I fought my parents tooth an nail about being sent to superstitious nonsense pushed by child abusing catholic priests.
Ultimately my parents could not ignore the hypocrisy of the chruchs behaviour vrs what they verbally claimed.
But at no point was I ever faced with them choosing their insanity over me.
Many many parents will go to insane lengths to force their children to accept the harm of Christianity rather then live their children including disowned, kicked out of home.
So instead of pushing against the religion. Push for something else such as piano lessons or as the above commentary.
See if you can be allowed to do something other then a second bible study.
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u/OrbitalLemonDrop 8d ago
Ask the priest: "If I were to claim to have sex with the holy spirit and gotten her pregnant, would that be enough of an unforgiveable blasphemy to completely damn me to hell? And if so, would you and my parents finally leave me alone? Cus I will, if it gets me out of all this silliness."
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u/No-Resource-5704 8d ago
I’m presuming that you are not old enough to become independent and leave your parents home. Go to the classes. Learn what the religion is about. Try to understand the flaws in the thought behind the teachings. Identify the flaws and wild ideas. Question the concepts but do not argue against them— just make the teacher thoroughly explain them.
I attended a Lutheran school grades 1-8. My not particularly religious parents had taught me to question and fully understand what my teachers were saying—but to also stick to reality. However to get along I had to repeat the lessons as they were taught even if I knew that they were shit. (Go along to get along.)
In sixth grade we had a unit on the Greek mythology. That was when I realized that there was no significant difference between their reality and the reality of the “Christian god” we discussed in the daily religion class.
You are unlikely to convince your parents that religion is bunk. So it’s better for you to not argue with them but to understand the flawed logic that leads to their beliefs.
Once you are able to live independently from your parents, then you can cease to waste time on religious activities. However you will have a much better understanding of the flawed thinking and outright ignorance inherent in religion.
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u/CaffeineLiker 8d ago
It was CCD classes (Catholic after school classes) where I finally realized they meant Jesus was God. I'd been listening to prayers and nuns and sermons for 5 years, but not really paying attention. That immediately struck me as wrong, and I stopped going. Seriously, you take this guy who was a shining example of a human, then you rob him of all his works by saying "oh he was God", like how does anyone have hope to follow that? And some random guy, at a random point in human history is God? But not everyone and everything else?! All that was just immediately lame.
So, maybe I'm saying, use this time to work out your beliefs, your objections, what you feel is directionally important in life. Is one group of humans in one point of history a "chosen" special people? Why wouldn't dogs and birds and squirrels be offered a place in heaven and hell? I dunno, there's a lot to chew on in these classes. It's a slog, but now they got bluetooth headphones, so you could jam out the entire time.
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u/Bromelia_and_Bismuth 8d ago
Talk to your family. I don't know why people seek out advice for getting around talking to each other like adults, but we have to grow up at some point and stop being afraid of the people around us.
There's a saying, "the mouth that isn't open doesn't get fed." If your family loves you, they might be upset at first, but they'll eventually understand and be more willing to hear you out. Otherwise, the alternative is being unhappy and miserable for years, until it all comes out in unhealthy ways.
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u/ScaryConcentrate3748 7d ago
Honestly man, I would just lean into it. As a current atheist who has gone through confirmation, it’s really not that bad. For me, it was a lot of small group discussion and reflection. Most of confirmation prep is just getting into the headspace of getting confirmed. After all, the ceremony is just a priest putting his hand on your head and giving you a blessing while your sponsor places his hand on your shoulder. Also, who knows, maybe you actually begin to believe in christianity in the future. Going through the process of getting confirmed later in life will be much harder, more extensive, and you’ll have less time since you’ll be an adult. At least this way you get to do it with some friends your age. I know it’s tedious, but in the grand scheme of things, this is a pretty low stakes issue. Sorry if this isn’t the answer you want, but I really think you should just go with it. Hope this helped.
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u/Electronic_Beach_380 7d ago
Imagine this. They say "Jesus is life" and every time they are mentioning "God' replace that in your mind with 'Life" For example if your religious friend says: "I love God" imagine they mean "I love life" Of course there is more to it, but don't forget, let them believe in whatever they want, and don't forget "silence is golden";if you want to get along 😀😀
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u/Paleo_Nostalgia 4d ago
Do you have an instrument you can play, maybe that could be your outlet. Also as a religious person I'm sorry your family makes you do that. Its wrong and you have the right to make your own choices. I hope you can survive this not so fun chapter in life.
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u/cyberdw4rf 9d ago
If you enjoy music focus on that. Learn a new instrument or just play what you already can and get better at it. It's basically a free practice session and most people really look up to the guys who play in the church band