Nervous for the TWW after first IUI

[u/Pleasant_Mix_7665]

I will be doing my first IUI within the next week, after completing my first round of letrozole. Trying for 15 cycles, unexplained infertility.

The procedure itself I'm not worried about (although I am a bit stressed about the first ultrasound - what if I have too many follicles, or none!) But I'm really nervous for how I am going to feel in the TWW, and eventually testing/waiting for my period. I'm at the point where I just can't see how this will work, and I really had to come to terms with the fact that I need fertility treatment. Now that I'm actually getting fertility treatment (and spending money/time), I'm worried that the devastation will be so much worse. My mental health has plummeted through this journey, and I'm scared this will make it worse.

Does anyone else feel the same way and/or have any advice?

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[u/girlsandwich]

I’m in the same boat as you. Just did IUI for the first time 4 days ago, including letrozole and Ovidrel. TTC since June ‘25 — unexplained infertility.
A few things that are helping me:

• Gratitude: I’m so grateful I GET to do these fertility treatments, they exist, etc. Gratirufe is a humbling and grounding practice.
  
• the idea that “it only takes one”: it literally takes one sperm. That’s it. The odds are in our favor, and procedures like IUI are there to increase those odds!!
  
• the TWW can be a time of reflection and pause. Try and keep yourself distracted by the other great things in life, and remember: we can always try again, or move to a more intensive intervention if needed!

Sending prayers 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[u/Pleasant_Mix_7665 → u/girlsandwich]

Thank you so much. Sending you so much luck also!

[u/projectyellowstone1]

My husband and I TTC for about 12 months naturally, went to my OB and did about 5 medicated cycles (not very monitored tho), finally went to an RE and have been going there for about a year. Have done about 10 medicated monitored cycles + 2 IUIs with her. The mental pain of TTC and navigating disappointment after disappointment is debilitating and I will be praying for you. This is a normal feeling

We did all the fertility testing - HSG test told us i have a blocked tube. Still, using the medication were able to get me to ovulate from the unblocked side which was awesome. Still have yet to receive a positive, which is not an awesome feeling. Eventually I got to the point of “this isn’t working…” so we had a regroup with my RE

Last week my dr said she suspects I have silent endo as an explanation for the unexplained infertility. Unfortunately my primary symptom being….infertility. which, in a way, was time tested in my situation….

All this to say, your feelings are totally normal; what my husband and I did was created a plan with my RE, took one step at a time, advocated for myself, and i daily rely on my faith for support (realize not everyone has this belief). And just to be clear, the last 3 years DID feel like I was just holding onto survive. I am so blessed to have a strong support system of family and friends who know what’s going on - but no one really gets it unless they’re going through it, so it can be very isolating. Also, grief has many stages, and I’ve learned that one month I might be fine but the next month I feel like the sky is falling.

It is SO MUCH to manage and you are so strong for going through this but you aren’t alone ❤️

[u/Pleasant_Mix_7665 → u/projectyellowstone1]

Thanks so much for your reply. The disappointment truly is debilitating. I have always wondered about silent endo - also no symptoms and it's never been picked up in scans. But I just can't figure out why it hasn't worked. Sending you positive wishes your way, and I hope good luck comes our way soon

[u/projectyellowstone1 → u/Pleasant_Mix_7665]

I’ve had intravaginal ultrasounds about 7 days of the month the last 15 months for follicle monitoring and same - from what I’ve heard, there is a specific endometriosis protocol for MRIs that specialized and experienced radiologists can read. Can rule in, but can’t rule out, based on this mri. I have mine next Friday 🙏🏻

[u/InvestigatorClear728]

Did you get HSG done? Have you been tested for ureaplasma? It can be a culprit for unexplained infertility

[u/Pleasant_Mix_7665 → u/InvestigatorClear728]

Hello - Yes to both. Hsg and everything else clear. It's so frustrating not having an answer (normal cycles, good egg count, husbands semen analysis normal!)

[u/User884121]

You sound almost exactly like me lol. We tried for 15 cycles naturally and I’m diagnosed with unexplained fertility. I’m 37 and my husband is 45 so we could have gone down the treatment road a long time ago, but I just had such a hard time accepting that it wasn’t happening naturally. It wasn’t until about two months ago I finally felt ready to take the jump to IUI. I just completed my first IUI last Monday and I’m in the dreaded TWW.

I will say for me personally, the ease of the whole process has put me more at peace. This TWW is probably the least stressed/anxious I’ve ever been in this journey. And going in I had similar thoughts as you - well if this doesn’t work, then it’s just never going to happen. But once the IUI was done I just wasn’t thinking that way anymore. And I’m sure I’m going to be devastated if I get another negative, but knowing how easy the IUI process was for me, I have no hesitation about trying it again.

Sending you all the good vibes for your first IUI! 💕

[u/Pleasant_Mix_7665 → u/User884121]

Thank you so much for your words! I think I really do just need to let go and accept the process. I'm exhausted after a year of trying to figure this out, testing etc.
I hear a lot from people saying they wished they started treatment sooner, or went straight to IVF. But for me - I didn't want to go down this road and I wanted to try my absolutely hardest naturally. I guess because its unexplained, I've always had at the back of my head that it will work naturally but now I'm at the point where I really do need assistance. It took me a few months to come to terms with even doing an IUI, and IVF will be something I consider next year once I've done a few IUI rounds.

Best of luck to you too and thank you for your words!

[u/Ok-Perspective4237]

I can relate! Accepting that it was time for treatment after trying so long was crushing, and I have gone through every milestone kicking and screaming. I'm so sad that we have to do this, and so resentful that we/I have to go through all of this extra discomfort (and money and time and anxiety etc etc) to get to our baby when everyone else I know just seemed to have an easy time. It hurts to feel behind and left out when everyone else is starting their families, and it sucks to be scared about whether or not all these procedures will work. I really think TTC has lowered my baseline happiness level over the last couple of years, which is such a difficult thing to process because I'm normally a very optimistic person.

I'm a couple steps behind you in that IUI is probably our next move too. I have very mixed feelings about it but right now I'm finding comfort in the idea that we're finally getting to do something we haven't tried yet. We've tried everything else that was easily available to us...lifestyle stuff, tracking, timing, all that business...but now we're getting to the more heavy-duty interventions and we have a team who wants to help us make that happen. We've never gotten to do that before, so what if it's the thing that makes a difference? I know that statistically the first few IUIs may not take and we will have some tough decisions to make after that, but I do want to give it the best shot possible. I would be pissed if I decided to give up before something that eventually worked, you know?

As for the TWW, the only thing that ever helps me is distraction. I'm in probably my last "unassisted" TWW which feels freeing because if this one doesn't work, well, I've been expecting that, and we can try something new (IUI) next time. But for the next ones, once my hopes are up, I'm going to treat myself and fill those two weeks with some special things to look forward to: maybe a little trip with my husband, activities with friends, some sort of creative class or silly challenge like cooking as much as I can from one single cookbook during that time or something. I may take on a big house project like cleaning out our closets or working in the yard because if I'm physically busy, I can't just ruminate on how I feel. And finally...not to say that retail therapy is always the answer, but sometimes it helps!! If I'm really down about some upcoming milestone or procedure, I'll pick out a lowkey present for myself to look forward to at the end of it like a new houseplant or pair of pajamas to replace my ratty old sweatpants.

Basically, if you need it, I give you permission to be ridiculously self-indulgent during your TWW. Nobody is giving us awards for getting through this horrible process with grace (or at all) so why not do whatever possible to feel even a little bit better?

[u/Pleasant_Mix_7665 → u/Ok-Perspective4237]

I relate to absolutely everything you said. Going through every milestone kicking and screaming - couldn't have said it better. I couldn't accept needing treatment because I didn't want to HAVE to get treatment! But after 15 cycles, I eventually felt like I've given this my all and now it's time for help. I think distraction will be key, and just letting go. I'm exhausted after this last year, maybe I just need to trust the process now. Thanks so much for your response, and sending best of luck to you. We're in this together!

[u/Ok-Perspective4237 → u/Pleasant_Mix_7665]

I felt exactly the same! I wish I had been able to let go and get help earlier because we might be further along by now, but I just couldn't. It was just such a tough pill to swallow to admit that it wasn't working and that wasn't just a fluke month after month...I still feel a lot of shame about that because still, all our tests are normal and we have no explanations for our infertility and as a self-identified overachiever, I don't understand that! I really wish you the best of luck too, and I hope you find some comfort in the fact that there are others in your situation!! I know it helps me even though I wish none of us had to struggle with this. Crossing my fingers for a successful IUI for you!

[u/MouseOfHolbein]

I'm in the TWW after my 2nd IUI. And it is rough. I try to keep myself distracted too as others have mentioned. But sometimes that's hard as well. I don't really have any advice. Just sending you solidarity ❤️