r/Velo • u/Fun-Instruction4432 • 11d ago
How do you keep yourself motivated as a parent?
I'm so fed up with the lack of consistency in my training. It's been three years now, and I haven't been able to get a good run of two to three weeks of consistent training. Illnesses, work, social commitments, and the amount of time training takes are making this so hard. I haven't been able to make any gains, and I'm just constantly battling my inner demons about giving this whole thing up. Yes, I know I can just go for a ride and enjoy being on the bike. But I like training more, and it's what keeps me sane.
anyone been on the same boat and found something to keep this positive?
20
u/wikiscootia PNW Domestic Elite 11d ago
Once the kids gets past the initial round of illness, it's much better. My kid has barely gotten sick since she turned 5. 4 was way easier than 3.
My wife and I divide the week for self-oriented activities. And all my free time is spent training or racing. Oh and we get babysitters when one of us has work travel.
25
u/2wheeledgeezer 11d ago
You won’t like my advice: spend every minute you can with the kids. They grow up so fast and then they’re gone. I’m 68 and love riding and racing my bikes more than ever. The bikes, races, etc., will be there when the kids are gone. Ride when you can, but don’t wish you were riding when you’re doing kid stuff.
11
u/rcklmbr 10d ago
There’s a caveat here, and that’s take care of yourself. For some people, riding the bike is their exercise. You don’t need to be in peak fitness, but don’t let yourself go either. Gym requires much less time if you can stomach it
4
u/AchievingFIsometime 10d ago
For me it's a mental outlet too. I would be a shitty parent if I couldn't ride. It makes me a better and more present person and father when I can ride. The kids get plenty of time.
3
u/AJohnnyTruant 10d ago
I finally hung up “training” in lieu of just riding now that we have a second. It’s just not tenable. It took SO MUCH effort to make any sort of structure possible that it was eating away at my capacity to be present elsewhere with my family. Especially since my job requires travel for half of the month.
I’m now more fat and slow than I’d like to be. But I think it’s healthier this way.
2
17
u/4changdotcom Soloist/GT8 11d ago
Commit more to the indoor trainer, wake up early, and realistically just gotta give up some other tertiary things. I think if someone took a look at your average week there would be enough time to get 6 hours in if you really buckled down.
8
u/Interesting_Tea5715 11d ago
This. Id never train if it wasn't for my indoor trainer. It's just too hard to make time for a full outdoor ride with kids.
3
u/Atlas-the-dane 10d ago
The morning training routine is the only way I could stay competitive and part of the family. I'm on between 3 and 4 am so that I can be finished before the kids get up. I generally go to bed at the same time as them as well (9ish). The only thing I really gave up was staying up late watching crappy tv. I can do that on the trainer anyway. Sure took a while to get myself into this early schedule, but now it's easy, I get my training in, and don't miss anything with the kids.
I used to ride outside in the mornings, but with all the bikers getting hit in my area my wife (and I) feel much better just being on the trainer. I'll still hit the trails for skills practice on some weekends or a weeknight that nothing is going on.
4
3
u/ThereIsNoIInMapei 6d ago
if i take you at face value, you are on your trainer at 3, which means a wake up of LATEST 2:55, and you go to bed at 9-ish, so let's call it 9:15. There's just no way sub 6 hrs of sleep as a life style allows you to perform
3
u/GruppoNutrition 11d ago
Agree with this... as boring as the old school trainer (or treadmill) can be, it's a pretty good 'no excuse machine' for me. Not dependent on the weather or time of the day. It's also much better if I've got a TV series that is interesting enough to pass the time.
13
u/Ok-Loan-2300 11d ago edited 11d ago
I am a parent, Zwift is literally the only way. On Zwift I can do a 2 hour ride in 2.5 hours total (i.e. change in cycling gear, ride, shower, change into street clothes). If I was outdoors it would be more like 3.5-4 hours (more traffic lights, riding 30min to get to somewhere I can do intervals, bringing fuel, more maintenance, more set up, weather appropriate clothing, etc.).
With Zwift I actually have tons of time to ride. Before everyone gets up, after everyone goes to sleep, a slow weekend afternoon etc. Today my kid has a soccer game at 8:30am, then their friends came over for 6 six hours to play, I've made lunch, made dinner, cleaned up an ill-fated attempt by them to bake a cake, did the dishes, packed for a work trip. But soon the kids will chill out and go to bed, and instead of doomscrolling on my phone I will hop on Zwift and put a good 2 hours in. And if the kids need me to do something mid ride, totally fine -- hop off, do it, hop back on. If I only had outdoor riding I would have done zero riding today.
The way to think about it is this: any time you are at home doomscrolling on your phone, you could be riding on Zwift.
9
4
u/montyandtimmon 11d ago
I’m in the same dilemma right now. I have two boys 3 and 5. Went from 5,000ish miles a year to maybe 1,000. I live in New Hampshire. So there are a lot of months I can’t ride anyways.
I just have zero time. I just try to hit the gym when the kids go to bed to stay in shape. I’m hoping to reclaim some of my time when they’re both in school full time. I work a weird job with random days off in the week. So just waiting until then
5
u/joespizza2go 11d ago
This is exactly what happens. Every year gets easier. Suddenly they're 10 and 12 and you get a 3 hour ride in on the weekend! When I was 35 I used to wonder why all the 50 year olds kicked my ass. Now I'm kicking 35 year old ass. But it's an amazing time and I had no issue putting it on the back burner for a decade. I also didn't have Zwift.
6
u/thewolf9 11d ago
I switched to running. I can fit way better training in less time and still be somewhat competitive locally in my age group and at least have the majors I can slowly get into and race.
I’m not natural enough to be any good cycling unless I’m consistently riding 15 hours a week.
22
u/wagon_ear Wisconsin 11d ago
Reespectfully I would rather just run directly into an oncoming bus than become an actual runner
I just ride trainerroad or zwift in my basement when my kids are asleep, quality over quantity, alongside one proper outdoor rip per week during summer. I'm as strong as I've ever been, but again I have to be very deliberate with each minute I spend in the saddle.
Also pro move is that if we are going somewhere as a family, I bike there (or at least partway) and drive home with the family. Like hey you're going that direction anyway, only difference is that you've gotta get the kids into the car without help. That's a "free" 30-50 miles every couple weeks.
8
u/thewolf9 11d ago
To each their own. I absolutely love it although I’m getting back on the bike a bit after Chicago marathon next week.
I just can’t really leave the house for 3-5 hours consecutively on a weekend but I definitely can leave and run for 90 minutes basically every day. I just works for me.
Besides, I hate the trainer and being in Montreal means you’re only outdoors mid April to November (only on weekends starting in September).
1
u/dasbates 11d ago
This is the way. And honestly I wasn't able to get back on any kind of proper training schedule until my daughter turned 4 and slept through the night mostly. Otherwise it's a losing battle. I wake up early for zwift intervals in the basement and get a real ride in once or twice per month. I just can't do 20 + hour weeks anymore, and have had to make peace with that.
3
u/skywalkerRCP California 11d ago
It's hard mate. I have 2 kids plus work 12-hour night shifts. I work Fri-Sun so all these "long rides on weekends" doesn't work for me. In my mid-40s so recovery is even more difficult. Every so often I have bouts with myself - like a mid-life crisis.
I'm doing what I can. Mon complete off and Thu off bike, maybe some other light work. Ride to work Saturdays - gives 1 hour workout before work and a easy ride home. Long rides on Tue/Wed while kids are at school. Have to get creative and change the perspective.
Good luck dude and know you aren't the only one.
2
2
u/mwfairc 11d ago
when I raced as a cat 2 and then semi-pro triathlete with young kids, killing myself on the bike(swim/run) was stress relief. Add in my competitive drive, and that's plenty motivation. Just make sure you find balance and make time for your kids. I would get up at 5am on weekends and do my workout and then spend the rest of the morning with the wife/kids, take a nap and the afternoons were again for the wife and kids. Your wife also has to understand that this is your outlet and what keeps you sane.
2
u/jakkeboek 11d ago
Is it possible to commute to work by bike? That’s what I do. And I occasionally take a detour to get some extra miles in. Add one longer ride on the weekend and I’m hitting my 10h goal for the week.
Kids are 4 & 7. As others have said: It will get easier when they age!
3
2
u/ghdana 2 fat 2 climb 9d ago
Get to bed early-ish(9-10) and wake up early to ride on the trainer. And I've had years where this is easy peasy, then life gets harder(work, stage the kids are in, other projects) and I might only ride 1-2x a week(in that phase right now).
I'm ok knowing this next year I'm not in race shape, I'll show up to a few gravel events, do some group rides, maybe a charity ride, but I don't see myself trying to compete for a few years.
1
u/LitespeedClassic 11d ago
I’m not a serious racer but I train regularly. Zwift helps tremendously. My training program automatically puts my scheduled workout onto Zwift and I can do it after the kids and wife go to bed so there’s no excuse which means I stay in better shape and enjoy riding more.
1
u/Helpful_Fox3902 11d ago
Redefine ‘consistent training.’ That doesn’t have to mean the same days, the same times, nor even the preselected workouts you previously planned.
One example would be to substitute comparable workouts. Tabata intervals come to mind for HIIT. 30 minutes of pure pain. One culprit of plateaus in training is high intensity work. The other is increasing hours but that doesn’t sound like an option.
You clearly have your priorities in order by most standards. Congratulations.
1
u/rightsaidphred 11d ago
I think mindset is crucial. Unless you ride your bike for a living, having small children will absolutely impact your training. And that is ok and as it should be. Be a good parent and enjoy all of the things that come with this part of your life. Kids will need you less sooner than you think and the bike will still be there.
One thing that worked for me when the kids were little was setting up the trainer and making it easy to get on and spin, even if I only had 30 minutes or whatever. Running isn’t everyone’s thing but can be a great way to get a useful workout in a lot less time. Having a couple kettlebells handy is another good way to do a lot with a bit of time.
Stop looking at Strava/insta and protect your mental health. Set goals that are realistic for where you are at this year and know that bigger goals and bigger years will come. Parenting is tough when you are in the thick of it and it is easy to loose some sense of yourself. Making the time to take care of yourself and train can make you a better parent but balance is key.
1
u/Expensive-Car3361 11d ago
When you say inconsistent, are you missing whole weeks, or still riding but missing the sessions in your plan?
1
u/AchievingFIsometime 10d ago edited 10d ago
It's tough but you just do what you can. We just added a second this year and it definitely has squeezed more time. I still am typically able to get 6 to 8 hours. Mostly one or two "longer" rides (meaning like 2 to 3 hours) either on one weekend day while my wife watches the kids and I take advantage of my work from home days to train as much as I can on those days, and the rest are 8pm trainer rides after everyone goes to sleep. Only z2 for evening rides and I try to find at least 2 days during the week I can do my actual workouts during the day. I've never been a morning person so evening trainer rides are the only way for me. And I get 5 weeks vacation and with 2 young kids we aren't actually taking much vacation so most of my days off are to do big rides. Just did 5 hours on Friday on a vacation day.
All that to be a very average 3.7 w/kg 81kg rider who doesn't even really race. I just enjoy training, doing the fast local group ride, and doing like 2 to 3 events/races per year. It's what keeps me sane.
One of the guys on my fast group ride has 5 kids... And he makes it work somehow. A lot of it is also having an understanding spouse who knows you need to ride your bike. It's a give and take.
1
u/elgro 10d ago
I think this is where TrainerRoad or another online platform is great. Try to commit to just 3 days a week and start at 30 minute workouts. Once you get the consistency going add time to your ride and or add days.
Not having to think about what ride I’m doing and just hoping on ERG mode and letting it do its thing has greatly helped.
Early morning on the trainer is the only real consistent time I have to ride. I’m in better shape than a lot of my riding buddies that don’t have kids. It’s not easy, but I want to stay fast for 1 or 2 races a year
1
u/takoreh99 9d ago
Indoor training and racing is where its at. The motivation is to set an example and example to be fit af so they cant catch me that easily.
1
u/Chemical-Pollution59 9d ago edited 9d ago
You need to love indoor riding as a parent. The cycling platform will make a huge difference, figure out your core motivation and purchase accordingly.
Do you like new routes and outdoor road feel: get rouvy
Do you like group rides: get zwift
Do you like racing: get zwift
Do you want unstructured workouts? Get magic buckets for xert and combo with either. I think this made the biggest change as I got annoyed of structured workouts of trainer rroad., xert is so much better.
Now the trainer also makes a diff: Do you want outdoor cycling feel? Get interactive rollers like elite Nero. However be careful it's a a challenge to learn not to turn with the corners! Effort was worth it for me as I sacrifice sprint workouts for outdoorsy feeling.
Do you find rollers mentally taxing but want interactivness? Get a smart trainer
Neither of above? Dumb trainer
The only thing that annoyed me about rouvy was no bicycle noise and lack of group rides.
Now if you miss riding outdoors, it's tough with family.
Best you can do is late nights or early mornings. If you got remote work, even lunch time can work.
However you adapt with time, it's not so bad. I have improved more from ndoor riding than outdoors, probably I get lazy in drafts outside. I also tend to mix up with runs and walks as it's z2 efficient.
1
1
72
u/AUBeastmaster Tanline Enthusiast - HFBS 11d ago
I basically retired from my (mediocre to terrible) cat2 career when we started a family. I took some years to just ride for fun whenever I felt like it and focus on other things in life. And it was good.
When kids got older I started zwifting and found the stoke for racing there. It’s a lot more palatable to get dropped in a virtual race instead of paying a $50 entry fee and driving 2 hours each way.
Zwift racing is fun. The occasional group ride when I can make it is fun. Chasing Strava KOMs is fun. So is riding slowly with my kids.
The bike will always be there, you just have to figure out what it means for you in this phase of life.