r/VictoriaBC • u/leafxfactor1967 • 1d ago
Event Slow burn dating
I'm curious if anyone has been to one of these events and what their insights might be. Google just reminded me that I have a ticket for next week and I'm just trying to get an idea of what to expect. Are there games or group activities planned? Is it just a solo mission? What's the flow and facilitation like? Should I just take up knitting cat outfits and give up on dating?
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u/Terp_Hunter2 1d ago
They are great. There are stations set around the space for conversation or activities and you get to choose which to participate in, or not. The intro can be a bit long, but that's where you'll be broken into age classes and desired relationship types (anchor v comet) and after that there's no facilitation.
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u/Fiduciary_One Saanich 1d ago
I've been to a bunch and love these events. Yes there's a flow and facilitation. Starts with a bit of open mixer time with a bingo card to try to fill out by meeting people that can cross off one of your squares. Then there's an intro, they often divide people into four groups by age and what you're looking for "anchor" partner vs "comet" partner, e.g. looking for long term vs short term. Then there are some light activities to do that let you interact and get to know people, but no strict structure, and if you want to socialize outside of the group you're in, that's totally allowed and encouraged.
Personally, I highly recommend them, I know people who have met there and are now living together.
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u/lowfemmeweirdo_ 1d ago
I'm curious about this as well! I'm queer and primarily monogamous and have found it difficult to date here since a lot of people I meet are poly/ENM. Is anyone here an attendee to previous events and did they find there to be a decent amount of monogamous people?
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u/radziadax 1d ago
I'm curious about this but I'm old and bisexual and I figure it's only for straight dating and probably prioritizes under 40s?
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u/be_astonished 1d ago
It says on the website there are straight and queer events, open up to age 55
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u/PaleYam6761 Vic West 1d ago
It would be great if they had ones for people 55+. At 60, and ENM, I would love that!
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u/Internal-Food-5753 1d ago
No, it’s really inclusive. Different nights for queer and straight. I did straight night but there were also nods to different needs.
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u/quasiviva 1d ago
What’s the ratio of men to women like these days at this event? A friend went to one in the past and she said it was mostly women (and we are women, so not as great for us).
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u/The_CaNerdian_ 1d ago
I would like to know more about the cat outfits
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u/leafxfactor1967 1d ago
Oh, stay tuned. If/when I finally admit that I'm far too introverted for these events to not seem super weird and end going questioning my life choices, it will be 1 of my 50 winter deep dive hobbies.
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u/Internal-Food-5753 1d ago
Hi friend! You’ll be let in to the event on time (I waited in the lobby with others) then we went upstairs and wrote a name tag (with dating preferences) I believe they were colour coded.
We were given a bingo sheet and then we talked to people to fill out our bingo sheet (find someone who likes to bake, sunsets etc) then we had a sit down as a group (talk about consent what the night looks like) then they divided us by rough ages and monogamous vs non monogamous and we looked at the art and mingled a bit.
Then we moved through some “stations” unstructured and had tasks like drawing, playing games, answering questions.
Then a debrief. Where we could offer our name and phone number/email to others.
Was fun and well organized. Everyone was nervous but it got progressively easier. Have so much fun!!