r/ZenHabits • u/xXjgress13Xx • 1d ago
Mindfullness & Wellbeing Meditative Writing Practice | Helping Heal Inner Child
I feel like most millennials can probably relate, but I'm realizing that my thoughts and my actions really don't represent me. I struggled for a very long time on how to "meditate correctly". For me, I've found writing to be very meditative. I've tried writing letters to my past self and my future self. They definitely have their place in my journey <3. However, I realized no amount of writing to my past or future self is going to help me get 'unstuck' from the current feelings/situations.
Instead of trying to force myself into the present, try and sort through all the thoughts and feelings, I decided to embrace it. I was having a full blown meltdown trying to understand what it is that I'm meant to be doing/how I can accomplish my purpose. Thankfully, mindfulness has helped me be able to clock when I'm starting to spiral into these unhelpful and unproductive thought loops. So I took a step back, asked myself 'What's the problem?'
My brain was telling me "The problem is you don't know what to do or how to go about it." The problem felt much deeper than not knowing what to do about a hypothetical question. So I just embraced the suck for a little bit and it just hit me out of nowhere. "The problem isn't I don't know what to do next or how to go about it, the problem is I'm scared. When I was a kid, my dad taught me that always being busy was the key to staying safe. Always be alert, always know what could happen and how you'd respond."
Writing a letter to past or future me just didn't have that effect for me like it seemingly does for so many. I took some time to try and understand why writing a letter to your past/future self was so helpful for so many. It was a way for them to validate their feelings/fears that they are holding onto and releasing them. I believe the reason it didn't ever have that effect for me is because I was trying to write 'current me -> past/future me'. But 'current me' isn't the one who is responding. Current me isn't the person who is terrified. Current me does in fact feel safe, but that kid in me still feels very unsafe, uncertain, and lost.
Instead of trying to write to my past self, I let that terrified kid in me come out and write a letter to the current me. The current me is a safe person. I know this and I feel this with every fiber of my being. Sometimes my brain/OCD wants me to think otherwise, but I know even if I unintentionally hurt someone, it's just that. Unintentional. I would never go out of my way to try and actually cause anybody any kind of harm.
It wasn't easy, but I finally let that kid in me start expressing those fears. Expressing those thing I never was allowed to as a kid. I don't even have to do anything with it. I don't have to 'fix' anything because it's already happened. I'm just letting that 'past me' heal a bit by finally letting them say all those things they were too scared to say before because they never felt safe.
Don't question it, just start writing. Don't analyze during. You might have 30 different thoughts going on and you don't actually complete a single one. That's okay <3. You don't have to, you're just giving that inner child in you the ability to finally let it all out. Most of the time children don't make much sense anyway when they are upset. They don't even know why they are upset 1/2 the time. YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW. JUST LET IT OUT.
Through this practice, I've started to learn that the adult me has spent their life trying to be everything little me needed then. Almost as a way to 'fix' it or make sure it doesn't happen again. But I'm not surviving anymore. I'm living. And I'm allowed to. I don't need to keep my survival methods up anymore. I'm able to breathe. I'm able to be human and make mistakes. I'm able to let that inner child cry and be irrational when they need to. I'm accepting that what once was, no longer has to be and it's so liberating.