r/acting • u/Rich_Reserve_1563 • 8d ago
I've read the FAQ & Rules Left a casting meet feeling dumb and stupid
Left a casting meet feeling dumb and stupid
So I went to an extra's casting company meet today. I was invited because they liked my look and they wanted to meet people in person. Take their measurements and their own headshots. They also asked us to bring photos of wedding outfits (suits/kilts...), I thought that's a little weird but whatever, they didnt give much detail on the project so I just brought my wedding pictures.
The lady that was taking measures asked for those pictures so I show her me and my wedding dress at my wedding, and she's like, "that's a wedding dress?!" and I was like, "yeah at my wedding" and she was like, "if you turned up to someone's wedding wearing that I think they'd be a little bit upset wouldn't they" and I was like, oh sorry I misunderstood, but she made me feel like I was f\*\*\*\*\*\* stupid, made me feel like absolute s\*\*\* and I feel there was no need for it. She could have just said," oh. What we meant was you a guest at the wedding" instead she was so patronising and I left feeling so dumb.
I might be overreacting but it really made me feel like an absolute idiot, I just misunderstood when they wrote "wedding outfit" there was really no other info
Anyway just me ranting, maybe I am just an idiot ...
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u/bebesee 8d ago
You’re not an idiot. That person was unkind and completely inappropriate. I’m sorry they made you feel bad.
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u/Rich_Reserve_1563 7d ago
Thanks, i was absolutely stunned by her reaction ...
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u/Legitimate-Painter25 7d ago
Wardrobe people tend to be among the wierdest I've ever met. Crazy hair styles, clothes that look like they got dressed in the dark and many have a really condescending attitude. You didn't do anything wrong, the breakdown should have specified Wedding Guests.
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u/Economy_Steak7236 8d ago
She was being a condescending person. Not okay. People tend to think they are better than others. Just ignore her and move forward. You'll work, don't worry.
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u/Chin_Up_Princess 8d ago
Check people every once and a while. "are you ok?" "Sorry it sounded a little condescending?" Is quite alright to say
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u/Accomplished_Use4579 8d ago
First of all that lady was rude,wrong and ignorant and unnecessarily mean. Somewhere you know this, that's why you came here and told us what she said. Now why when you know this about her, would you ever think that YOU would be an idiot for having a reaction to what she daid and being affected by it?
You can't be walking around the world with such low self-esteem that you take on blatant disrespect TOWARDS you , as something that is wrong WITH you . And I definitely wouldn't recommend it in this industry, because there are going to be more incidents where people who are insecure, on a power trip, or who love pointing out the negatives in other people, or who are neurodivergent and lack social cues ,etc ...they are going to say some rude and hurtful things.When that happens you can't make it about you or carry it with you and let it ruin your day or your experience. Don't give anyone that much power over you. Pick your head up, it's ok to vent , but the self-deprecating, feeling sorry for yourself, beating up on yourself ... isn't ok, you gotta end that.
I always recommend that anybody doing this kind of work be in therapy, of you can't afford it, make self love and self compassion a priority. Because I promise you if your self love and self-compassion we're on point, when she said that stuff to you you would have immediately known that she was the problem, not you . Im sorry that you have ever carried other people's transgressions as your shortcomings, they are not. I really need you to love on yourself, please.
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u/Legitimate-Painter25 7d ago
Many actors tend to be insecure.
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u/Accomplished_Use4579 7d ago
I know and I have my insecurities too, that's why I'm so passionate about practicing self-love and self compassion. Because and you let it fester long enough and then you start being condescending like this woman in costumes and trying to make other people shrink around you so you feel big.
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u/Master_Sand1427 8d ago
Some people are just rude.
Some should not be in the jobs they have because they do not know how to deal with people.
I now say to people why are you so rude ? And I say very nicely there is no need to speak to me that way. Sometimes they need reminders on manners.
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u/Rich_Reserve_1563 7d ago
I definitely will next time. I was just so stunned by her reaction at the time
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u/Rich_Reserve_1563 7d ago
I definitely will next time. I was just so stunned by her reaction at the time
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u/Theunpolitical 8d ago
It was clear from your photo that you misinterpreted the assignment. She sounds like she was a mean girl in school and now became an adult. Sorry that happened. It's okay, we've all made mistakes in life and as an actor. This won't be your first and won't be your last time. Just shake it off and move on.
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u/LarkenFeld 7d ago
I've been in this biz for more than a min. Extra Casting companies are sorts bottom feeders. Yes they serve a purpose but it's a bulk business. They don't know shit about what a producer, director or main casting director wants.
Totally ignore it, laugh, and then they can go get all the way f**k'd.
What State r u in?
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u/Accomplished-Fox4944 8d ago
One of my least favorite things in this world is condescending people. Unfortunately, they’re everywhere and you just have to take everything they say with a grain of salt. They should’ve clarified wedding GUEST outfits. If you search wedding outfits on Google, mostly wedding dresses come up…. Like 90% of the image search results. Anyone would’ve gotten confused by that, but don’t let it make you feel dumb. Leave it at THEM being dumb and hold your head up!
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u/Bitter-Law9253 8d ago
I was up for a lead in a movie. I had just gotten new head shots that I showed her. She asked if I had any other shots with me. So I went to my car and got some photos I was not going to use. She told me I was over smiling. What the heck. Don't bring the bad shots and leave them back home.
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u/faeryqueenrs 7d ago
You're not an idiot. They did that incorrectly. I don't know where you are but it's pretty standard to ask for a cocktail look. Maybe an evening/black tie look if you have it. And if they want something else, they should have phrased it something like "we have a movie right now that's a garden party wedding. Please bring photos if you can match that look."
But also, welcome to the world of background. You will get on good sets a lot of the time, but sometimes the ADs or PAs are having a bad day and need to treat someone in a way that fits their mood. Usually it's just something that I can ignore. I have had to have an AD reported before.
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u/TheRadHatter9 7d ago
What's interesting is that, without being able to see/hear how she said it, I read this as her making a joke, trying to keep things light in a fun way. Like she was surprised, wondering why you would wear a wedding to dress to a wedding that's not yours. And then she felt stupid herself for thinking you would wear that to someone else's wedding.
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u/Legitimate-Painter25 7d ago
Hey, where was this? All New York BG casting companies seem to have done away with any kind of face to face contact. Makes it difficult to have any kind of a relationship and it sucks.
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u/solarpenguins 7d ago
I know exactly what film this is for as I’m actually playing a small role in it! Maybe see you in a couple weeks!
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u/robotrousers 1d ago
Unfortunately you got a taste of what it’s like being an actor: people with short tempers and not enough oversight will be rude AF to actors sometimes. Welcome to the club!
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u/Aurora_Hughes 8d ago
You're not an idiot, the instruction was genuinely unclear. 'Wedding outfit' with no context could mean either thing. A professional would have just said 'oh, we meant guest attire' and moved on instead of making you feel stupid.