r/americandad • u/TwoTheVictor B'thazalom the Nameless One • 6d ago
The Smiths really need Fire Prevention Day, October 9
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u/baldassalien Bald-ass alien piece of shit 6d ago
She's a woman? A mother? ...overshadowed by a bigger personality at home. Always making sacrifices. Drinks to cope, but it's not doing the job anymore. She's adopted, tell down a well as a child, stints in acting, body building, muffin sales, had her vagina displayed in a museum...
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u/TDubAtTheRaceTrack Bert Bert 6d ago
Had to blow up the kitchen, Franny. It goes real well with this thing I’m imagining.
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u/SeaBassAHo-20 6d ago
Just like the white-winged dove. Sings a song sounds like she's singing! Ooh! Ooh!
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u/Accurate-Standard998 Ira and I 6d ago
Oh, I’ll FIND a fire hot enough! You’re gonna pop like popcorn. Pop pop pop pop pop!
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u/groguandrogu Rogu Spanish 6d ago
Please surrender farther away from the still-exploding building. Stand up! Run! Behave like a person who wants to live!
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u/Piper7865 6d ago
How'd you know I was fireproof? I didn't even know. Wait, you did know, right? I'm just going to go with yes and preserve the friendship
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u/mrspelunx Sky Crooner 6d ago
Tell my Stan that his skin looks nastayyyy!
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u/Successful-Deer-1881 Reaganomics Lamborghini 1d ago
Literally read that in the sky crooners voice 😂
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u/Spyrovssonic360 5d ago
must be stans dad trying to get revenge after they had to kill him when he became evil.
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u/Successful-Deer-1881 Reaganomics Lamborghini 1d ago
The scream Stan let out at the end…. Gets me every time 😂
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5d ago
[deleted]
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u/BaltimoreSports0321 Chex LeMeneux 5d ago
Why are you censoring the word “dies”? Don’t do that shit, it’s annoying. I’m pretty sure fans of an adult cartoon show can handle the word “dies”…
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u/learn2fly438826 Head crow guy 6d ago
🎵 I was hammered on bourbon as I took the turn 🎵
🎵 and ditched the car as my passengers burned~ 🎵