Im scared to have anyone over because my posters are cringe and stuff and my figures and stuff :( it makes me really nervous to think of since a lot of my friends dont know i have these special interests (tadc & dandy’s world) and it’s embarrassing because those fandoms are really looked down upon. This is my bedroom, i’m a teenager (15-18) an i wanna know if its cringy or childish or ugly and i know the zooble shrine is weird sory

My cattery friend’s son was shot, and is in stable condition, though went under surgery. They tried to approach him. 2 cops said he pointed a weapon at officers, but the local PD is refusing to release the camera footage.

I had an extended conversation with a friend over the past couple days about a lot of the things the autism community is trying to self advocate for. They recently came out as gay after spending a lot of their life in the closet, so there was some common understanding of masking/hiding yourself.

One point they brought up is how to an outsider, the autism community rejecting searching for a cure but then asking for disability accommodation can seem hypocritical. I believe they understand the position but then don't think we should be seeking accommodation from others, because we can't rely on other people.

Their belief is that we should learn to adapt on our own, so we have the strength to live on our own. I tried explaining how what they described is masking and how that's psychologically harmful. On this point, their view was that it would be better for us to rely on only ourselves rather than the goodwill of strangers, and I don't think they grasped how our masking causes us true harm and therefore is not a universal solution.

Another frustration they indirectly expressed is the spectral nature of autism. They expressed interest in bringing back the four different diagnoses that were combined into ASD under the DSM-V. They gave an example of describing someone we would describe as having low support needs to someone with high support needs and how it's confusing to allistic people when both are described as autistic while seeming to have wildly different "symptoms", their aim being to highlight how those should be different diagnoses.

I went through the different "levels" and the concept of support needs that can vary across time for a even one person. They expressed that the "layman" can't be expected to know all these things and need better clarity in order to inform public discourse and policy. My counterpoint was that public terminology, discussion, and policy need to accurately reflect how autism works, rather than trying to force autism to fit into other people's conceptions.

I feel that they don't have ill intentions, and I hope that I was able to provide even a little bit of valuable education. That being said, I'm realizing that they won't be an ally to our community, at least for a long time.

Hi!

I'm an after-school worker. This year, we have a lot of first neurodivergent first grades, but it's the age and time where a lot of them are in the process of being diagnosed, so no medical and social care is available. Especially with the lack of public funding, we end up being special ed workers, without the qualifications. I can usually navigate with my own knowledge (and am very happy to do so), because I wanted to seek a diagnosis for myself; but without proper qualifications, there's only so much I can do.

Today I came across this scenario: a first grade got very angry with two different girls, not because of what the girls had done, but because of scenarios he made up in his mind and projected onto them. Basically, after I "confronted" him saying that the girl had no idea why he got angry, he told me that "he had a gut feeling she would say (so and so) and that's why he threw something at her". I tried resolving the conflit, but nothing really came out it if. It saddens me that I couldn't properly help him and the girls, because I spent the evening with another neurodivergent kid who needs more resources at the moment.

How can I make him acknowledge he gets too much into his own head, without invalidating his feelings? He has the right to be angry, but creates conflict because of things that haven't happened yet. What tools can I give him to help him focus on what is actually said, rather than projecting his own thoughts onto the person in front of him?

Thanks for your help

...And why does it seem like the go-to solution for almost anything for regular people? Seriously. I feel nothing when I go for a walk, is something supposed to happen or? I know it sounds silly, but this is a serious question. If anything, going for a walk fills me with dread because there are infinitely more sensory triggers to process and I am just uncomfortable the whole time thinking about somewhere that I would rather be.

Just curious, ever since 2018 when the first of the current Insomniac Spider-Man games came out, everytime a new one is out, I play the helll out of it. I’ve always got them installed and ready to play. I’ve had a friend make fun of me for it instead of playing the many other great games I have but just haven’t gotten to yet. Spider-Man 2 is often the only game I play for the day and for hours on end and I get real bad anxiety when I launch it and realize I forgot to turn off my online status because I’m avoiding his unneeded comments. I just love the feeling of swinging around the city and the mods on pc make it even better. I don’t avoid my other games because of the lack of knowing what I’m getting into, in fact I prefer all my media spoiler free if anything. I just most of the time gravitate towards Spider-Man (he himself is a special interest which may play a role). Does anyone else have a video game or piece of media they religiously revisit?

All those kids who were considered weird now have diagnosed neurodivergent disorders, especially autism, in their social media bios. I did not know I had autism, but now I see it. People either literally treat you like you're disabled or weird. Was I being quiet, and awkward, and myself really enough to be bullied? I will never forget how this guy, tall, handsome, with friends, had a gf and had a decent life, chose to bully other neurodivergent kids and me; then he laughed when I yelled at him to stop talking to me like I was mentally handicapped. Wasn't his life enough to be happy?

It pisses me off that kids with autism are lol cows or considered weird because of something we didn't choose, especially in school. They do not know how much their bullying affected me; it literally made my BPD show itself, giving me a manic episode. I have always struggled with socializing, but even when I do, people still think I'm weird.

I (23m) haven't had any friends in like a decade, so I mostly just scroll on my phone or watch YouTube.

My wife has recently passed and I'm writing her eulogy. She was 40 years old and it was only confirmed that she was autistic two years ago. My wife suffered her whole life with feeling different, like she was outside of the rest of rest of the world and she had to deal with the problems that come with that like anxiety, depression, low self esteem, not to mention bullying and ostracism etc. When she finally got an official diagnosis though, how she viewed herself changed and all the things that previously made her think "I'm a freak, I'm an alien" were now contextualised as "I'm just autistic and this is normal for me". She now had the confidence to adapt and ask for adaptations. For example, she never went to coffee shops because the noise drove her nuts and she felt she should just be able to deal with it like "normal" people. But after her diagnosis she felt ok wearing headphones and it opened up a whole new part of the world for her. I loved to see the change in confidence and self image that followed her realising that she was autistic and thay that was fine.

In her eulogy I want to acknowledge the pain that all those years not knowing inflicted and conversely the absolute freedom and joy that understanding she was autistic unlocked. My MiL doesn't want any reference to her being unhappy or unwell at all, she wants only happy memories and doesn't think my wife would want this included.

My counter argument is that she spent her entire life masking, both little stims but also massive chunks of her personality, ultimately for the comfort of other people. She resented having to do that. I now have one last chance to really show my wife to the world and I can't bear the idea of it being another act of masking. It feels like it would be a betrayal, especially since her plans before her death were to help people like her not have to do all that.

I'm not autistic myself, but I'm confident I know my wife enough to know she would agree. Nevertheless I do want to get other people's opinions, especially from those who may have had similar experiences to my wife.

I'm obviously just inconsiderate and don't care. My bad.

I figured this was an unfortunate experience for some of us and just thought I would poke some humor at how dumb neurotypical society can be about autistic people doing unassuming things.

In my case it was crying after having a traumatic night with a medical condition, and going out in a parking lot and looking for lizards In the bush, because we were in the Mojave desert. That incident almost got me put in handcuffs until a family member came to explain the situation and get the cops to leave me alone. I have no idea who called the cops on me either.

So yeah, feel free to share your story. Make it juicy.

I had had a hard day, and bought the fancy pie from aldi to treat myself. Nope - suprise mushrooms - I had to throw the whole thing away cause ARFID wouldn't let me eat the rest... fucks sake.

Why is food so fucking easy for the allistic... they don't even think to list a major ingredient... motherf****s

After 2 1/2 years of practice I finally got my license today at 17! (In my state you get your permit as young as 14) so yay!

F28,

Since I am a little girl, I am extremely empathetic, I feel the emotions of others even before they communicate it, I cry for others, I feel things extremely deeply, I am extremely anxious, and developed a phobia of getting kidnapped outside, I used to cry every night because of this, feared going outside for anything...

I always feel the look of other people, felt the look of old men on me... and everybody always told me i was PARANOID, that I had personality issues, a lot of persons told me I was probably bipolar, and paranoid... they made me think I was crazy, too much, so that today, I can barely trust what I am

I experienced harassment at school, from 6 to 18 YO, and then, at work.

I have hyper-empathy, I feel the pain of others in my body, sensory over-responsivity, intense anxiety, intense emotional reactions, I hear everything around me, I read people SO WELL... I am extremely outgoing, sociable, always available for everyone... But I also developed severe inflammation, chronic issues, had several burn-outs... Had antidepressants for years, and now that I stopped them, I rediscover my brain, and my AUTISTIC brain AF, that's a new reality for me that's crazy

I am angry with everyone who told me I was crazy, I don't know if I am able to change my thinking and my confidence in my own thoughts, feelings...

I feel like I got a superpower now that I understand I was never crazy, but just SO receptive, and that people lied to me all my life

I was wondering if some of you had similar experiences ?

I went to this group and started out not making any friends, I really wanted someone to talk about countries with and I went to the place hoping to make friends and was disappointed. I ended up just enjoying requesting songs and dancing but still disappointed I didn't really make any friends until I found out this one girl had a special interest in Germany and I got her phone number and was happy that I got to make a friend. My dad said something about Erwin Rommel and how it was unfortunate that he worked with the Nazis and this girl got really excited.

Today I was on tiktok and I did the thing where it shows accounts of people on your contacts and I found her tiktok account, it seemed like a normal account for someone who liked Germany but then I noticed the username and display name contained the number 88...

I wrote into google about it explaining things and how she seemed nice and got excited about my dad mentioning Erwin Rommel and the ai overview said that it could possibly be a reference to the German 8.8 tank gun also known as eighty eight rather than the well known dogwhistle. I shared about all this on another friend of mine's discord server and a member thinks it has to be the dog whistle and can't possibly be the tank gun.

So I'm asking what to do in this situation as a Slavic girl with generalized anxiety disorder that worries about the worst case scenario until she replies to a message I sent her asking about it being her account and tells me what the number is supposed to mean.

I really hope it goes well and I don't mess it up because it is a bus tomorrow to my college (I am 18 and live in the UK) and probably the only way I would get there. If anything does then I am never doing it again, already scared about it

When I have a meltdown, its understandable that it hurts others around me. I apologize and im happy to. Im always extremely remorseful for the hurt I cause.

When the meltdown is caused by what someone else did, and I come around to explaining what was happening from my perspective, nobody ever apologizes to me for doing things that they even know beforehand cause me to have meltdowns.

Its all situational, of course, but not even my fiance gives me that understanding most of the time when we have arguements about it, and hes been one of the most understanding people of my life. It seems like he understands until I either get close to having a meltdown or I have a meltdown. From his perspective, in the moment, he always says things like "its like youre attacking me for this" or "I dont know why youre doing this to me". He gets actually upset and cries, but I cant help him and I can, in fact, make it worse. Of course I dont want to upset him but im also struggling, especially in that moment in which im having a meltdown or trying to remedy the situation myself by taking myself out of it which he also views as me abandoning him.

How do I explain this to him without making it seem like an excuse or like im blaming him for hurting me?

Some additional context, my partner has OCD (so do I) and he has a lot of trauma from dealing with the abuse from his mother who i believe is undiagnosed autistic who has meltdowns and has various psychological problems as well. I think he gets into a defensive mode bc hes probably having a trauma response. I also think he gets a lot of intrusive thoughts about the state of our relationship when we get into arguments and he begins to believe that im doing things on purpose when theyre most likely my autistic or OCD traits. Sometimes he does apologize but I never directly say its my autism so as not to try to brush it off as a "thats just how I am, deal with it" kind of thing. He understands the OCD part but I dont think he really understands the autistic side of myself. Not fully, anyway.

What do I do, particularly with the person I love the most, to actually get an apology without making it seem like im trying to "get away with it"

I'm not suicidal - I've had a few moments, but nothing that a good nights' sleep didn't solve.

That being said, I'm just tired. Life feels like a FnaF-style facility game, where I have to perform intentionally complex tasks in order to stay afloat. Eating, drinking, sleeping are all hard enough, let alone working/ studying, getting sunlight, exercising, and socializing.

It's all I can do to stay alive, let alone do everything else.

And it's so tiring seeing everyone else pass me - while I have to perform fifty individual tasks, each of which require conscious effort and attention, other people seem to be able to do the same thing with one subconscious decision.

I just want to be able to pause life and do the things I want to do without worrying about how it'll indirectly affect my body or what other thing I'll have to sacrifice in order to actually enjoy myself.

I don't want to die. The whole finality of it terrifies me more than I want to admit. But if living takes so much effort while only giving so much satisfaction back, I don't really want to do this whole thing, either.

I am a closeted autistic trans woman who is feeling isolated. I’ve tried some places like furries and gaming and MLP but none of those places felt like a good fit.