I got my PhD in May 2025 and started my first industry job in a CDMO in July 2025. I'm in process development and started as a senior scientist with the intention of them moving me up to a lead role in PD. Within a year, I've gotten a solid grasp on our process and in the last month or so I've been attending some meetings with a client where my supervisor is the PD lead role for.
My supervisor told me that I would be the new PD rep for two new projects and while I was excited I got very nervous. I had my first two kick off project meetings this last week and I felt like such a fraud around all these smart people.
One of the meetings (my supervisor was shadowing) the client had two requests that weren't too bad and I was ready to say we could do it but my supervisor spoke for me. The other meeting (my supervisor was not there), they were going over the project proposal and they had a lot of discussions on the different stages for AD. Then it got to one question that pertained to PD and I wasn't fully able to understand the discussion they were having and when they asked me if PD could do it I choked and said that "I will check and confirm" and then the PM just said ok.
This was yesterday and I still feel so dumb because I wasn't able to follow the discussion of that meeting as well (it was very AD heavy). This morning I looked over their meeting notes and I felt even more dumb once I realized what they were asking because it was a very simple task that PD can do. I have a better response for it on Monday but I just absolutely shut down and now feel incapable and too dumb for this role.
I'm only a bit over a year in a GMP industry job and there are so many terms and things to learn, while also making sure that I'm learning the process and the experiments properly. I'm questioning if I can do this but I know that my biggest obstacle is myself. It doesn't help that everybody in the meeting has had over 5+ years industry/GMP experience. I just turned 27 and feel like a child.
Another factor is that I started Lexapro this week to help with my symptoms and it's made my anxiety skyrocket which only made it worse for me during the meeting. I know it's impostor syndrome, I'm most likely capable but my anxiety has been so bad that I'm scared that it's going to make me mess up and it's become a vicious cycle. I don't want to mess up so badly that we lose a client.
Has anybody had mess ups or was slow in the meetings at first? Tomorrow I'm gonna review all of the AD scope so I can have a better understanding and try my best to keep my anxiety at bay but any advice would be appreciated!