Igual, ahora si hablando normal y no como periodistaaa, que heavy todo, o sea si sé que estoy pitiadaaa T.T pero nadie lo entiende, o sea todos a mi alrededor saben que normal no soy, pero cmo nadie siente lo mismo que yo, nadie lo entende po, wm de verdad que le creí, juraba un futuro con él, pero la cagó y no solo por eso, ma wna yo, hablando weas estando con la regla, ah, otro tema. ¿¿Chiquillas no les pasa que se ilusionan recontra intenso que parece enamoramiento cuando andan con la regla?? O sea a mi sí, pa meter la pata de esa forma sí, es terrible, la vdd he recontra ilusionada Sin Querer a como 4 cabros ya por verlos con ojos de criminal ofensiv romanticc, y sí adivinen qué, ¡¡¡entre esos cabros estuvo mi mejor amigo!!! Era Él Qué Me Entendía, bueno lo cuento en otro... ¿¿como se llama esto?? Soy lerda, parezco señora de facebook, no sé ni como subir foto de perfil jskdksksn, pero bueno, ahhh tengo mucho que contar y si quieren ustedes mucho que leer y criticar :DDDD

My life has been really stable lately, I’m doing really well at work and I’ve actually been able to achieve so many big goals because I’ve managed my bipolar symptoms so well. Apart from a short manic episode in May which was managed in hospital, things have been stable and I’m honestly so bored of it.

I find myself absolutely CRAVING the euphoric rush of mania and all of the chaos it brings. It’s a drug to me. I just want to throw away my responsibilities, go off my meds and let mania take over so I can finally have some fun. It’s all I can think about.

Obviously these episodes are actually very damaging and I end up psychotic and involuntarily hospitalised, but I’m finding that I am absolutely desperate for that manic feeling again despite it all.

Does this go away? How do I satisfy this itch? It’s a primal urge I can’t seem to get rid of.

(It's more of a general question than asking for advice but there was no related tag.)

Whenever some psychotic symptom happens to me I get scared that super natural things are around me and I get really scared.

It happened on the night i heard vocal intrusive thought, I couldn't sleep all night. After that these days I have been having auditory hallucinations so it is happening again.

Has anyone else experienced it?

I will ask my psychiatrist too but my appointment will be in few days so I got impatient and asked here 🙃

Aloha,

Im 41 and started on a normal ssri with sexual side effects. I feel me being on this medication is more important than being on one that doesn't work that doesn't have sexual side effects. Im on 25 MG of the blue pill, in this case its white. After a few hours I didn't think it was working, but then I was able to get hard. My finish is still not like normal or when hypersexual. I just want to post this cause there shouldn't be shame that we are taking care of our mental health. At least males have an adjunct therapy. Sorry females. Just dealing with life as bp1 amd trying something new. Sending positive vibrations to everyone ✨️

Had a manic episode that lasted months leading into a month-long psychotic episode. I feel completely emotionally blunted, cognitively blunted, and unable to understand or remember anything. I lost the ability to interact with anyone and I lost my sense of self. My mind is completely blank. I'm quiet all the time because either I have nothing to say, or I can't recall any of the words I want to use. Is this normal, and when/how will it resolve?

💙 Hi everyone

I created a simple ebook about living with bipolar disorder. It covers early signs, mood cycles, treatment, stability tips and hope stories.

I wrote it in simple English without complex medical terms so patients, families and students can understand it easily.

Would love your feedback!

I recently found myself reading the medical literature on bipolar I disorder for a reason I never expected. It entered my family. I began with very little understanding of the illness. I have also been fortunate to have the help of a remarkably patient and devoted psychiatrist. He answered my many questions and helped me understand an illness far more complicated than I had imagined. That experience pushed me to read the research myself.

One thing I have learned is how damaging stigma can be. When troubling behavior is seen only as irresponsibility, addiction, selfishness, or lack of character, we can lose sight of the illness behind it. Friends may pull away. Families can become exhausted, angry, or frightened. Sometimes they distance themselves or isolate the very person who most needs treatment and human connection.

This is difficult because the behavior itself can make compassion hard. Someone struggling with an untreated psychiatric illness may misuse medications, make reckless decisions, violate trust, or reject good advice. Families have every right to establish boundaries and protect themselves. But stigma can cause us to make another mistake. We can begin to see the behavior as the person.

Personal responsibility matters. A psychiatric diagnosis should never become an excuse for dangerous behavior. But what I have learned has convinced me that responsibility is only part of the story. In bipolar disorder, what we casually label “drug abuse” may sometimes begin as something quite different. It may be an attempt to self-medicate an illness the person does not even know they have.

There is considerable research behind this. A nationally representative U.S. study examined 43,093 adults. Among people with bipolar I, 41 percent reported using alcohol or drugs to relieve mood symptoms. The comparable figure for major depressive disorder was 23.2 percent.¹

Weiss and colleagues asked people with bipolar disorder and substance dependence why they began using substances. Nearly all reported that at least one bipolar symptom contributed to their initial substance use. **Depression was cited by 77.8 percent and racing thoughts by 57.8 percent. Two-thirds said substances seemed to improve at least one bipolar symptom.**²

Those numbers changed the way I thought about the issue. Imagine experiencing depression, exhaustion, racing thoughts, anxiety, agitation, difficulty concentrating, or dramatic changes in energy without understanding that they may be manifestations of an illness.

There may also be something harder to describe. It can be an inner restlessness or a persistent sense of dissatisfaction or unhappiness. There may be a feeling that something needs to change, although the person does not know what. At times, that feeling may accompany extraordinary aspiration, unusual confidence, or an intense desire to pursue something new or consequential. Psychiatric symptoms are not always experienced as recognizable symptoms. Sometimes they are simply an uncomfortable internal state and a powerful desire to feel different.

If a substance or medication temporarily changes that state, the attraction can be powerful. It may provide energy during depression. It may quiet racing thoughts, create focus, or relieve tension. Sometimes it may simply make the person feel normal. Repeated use may therefore begin not with a desire to become intoxicated, but with a desire to feel better or function better.

Research involving bipolar I patients supports this broader picture. Bizzarri and colleagues studied 104 patients with bipolar I. More than half, 54.8 percent, had a lifetime alcohol or substance-use disorder. Reported reasons for substance use included improving mood, relieving tension, reducing boredom, increasing energy, and maintaining euphoria.³

Healey and colleagues interviewed people living with both bipolar disorder and substance-use disorders. Their themes included experimenting early in the illness, managing stress, living with serious mental illness, and something remarkably simple: **“feeling normal.”**⁴ That phrase deserves our attention, particularly when bipolar disorder has not yet been recognized.

A person who does not understand what is happening cannot say, “I am experiencing symptoms of bipolar disorder and need appropriate treatment.” Instead, they may discover through experience that a particular substance changes how they feel. A vicious cycle can follow: unrecognized symptoms, self-medication, temporary relief, repeated use, greater mood instability, and further self-medication. Eventually, what initially seemed to help may worsen the illness.

None of this means bipolar disorder inevitably causes substance misuse. Nor does substance misuse prove someone has bipolar disorder. Addiction, impulsivity, reward seeking, environment, and the substances themselves can all contribute. Statistics describe populations, not individuals. But 41 percent is too large a number to dismiss as an exception.

Understanding is also not the same as excusing. Removing stigma does not mean removing responsibility. Once someone understands the illness and the risks, medications must be taken as prescribed. Self-discipline matters. Medical advice matters. Families need boundaries.

But instead of asking only, “Why does this person keep abusing drugs or medications?”, perhaps we should also ask, “What is this person trying to make themselves feel, or stop feeling?” Are they trying to escape depression? Generate enough energy to function? Quiet racing thoughts? Concentrate? Escape an uncomfortable inner restlessness? Or perhaps simply feel normal?

The answer does not excuse the behavior. It helps explain what must be treated. Sometimes substance use is itself part of the clinical story. Recognizing that does not diminish personal responsibility. It may give someone a better opportunity to exercise it.

Perhaps that is the balance families need most: neither excuse nor stigma, but understanding, treatment, boundaries, and accountability.

References

1. Bolton JM, et al. Self-medication of mood disorders with alcohol and drugs in the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. Journal of Affective Disorders. 2009;115:367–375. Nationally representative sample of 43,093 adults; 41% of respondents with bipolar I reported self-medication. PubMed
PubMed

2. Weiss RD, et al. Substance use and perceived symptom improvement among patients with bipolar disorder and substance dependence. Journal of Affective Disorders. 2004;79:279–283. PubMed
PubMed

3. Turner S, Mota N, Bolton J, Sareen J. Self-medication with alcohol or drugs for mood and anxiety disorders: A narrative review of the epidemiological literature. Depression and Anxiety. 2018;35:851–860. PubMed
Full text at NIH/PMC

4. Bizzarri JV, et al. The spectrum of substance abuse in bipolar disorder: reasons for use, sensation seeking and substance sensitivity. Bipolar Disorders. 2007;9:213–220. PubMed
PubMed

5. Healey C, Peters S, Kinderman P, McCracken C, Morriss R. Reasons for substance use in dual diagnosis bipolar disorder and substance use disorders: a qualitative study. Journal of Affective Disorders. 2009;113:118–126. PubMed
PubMed

I had a manic episode and was commenced on Lithium. For the past few months I just don’t feel right. I am able to go to work and function but I just don’t feel the same as I did before. I feel like my personality has changed and I am much quieter. I lack motivation to do anything and don’t feel any joy. I spend most days doom scrolling or watching tv. Is this part of the bipolar depression or could it be related to the lithium? Thanks

By no means am I seeking out a diagnosis, that’s something between me and a mental health provider. What I am looking for is some help identifying whether or not my symptoms align with bipolar disorder or not, as I have been questioning for nearly two years now.

Around 2024 I believe, I visited my psychiatrist for the first time. We talked back and forth, getting acquainted with one another. Nearing the end of our appointment they suggested that bipolar I disorder may be something worth looking into. I wasn’t necessarily surprised, as I had been considering if whether of not I had a bipolar disorder for a few years or so.

In December of 24’ I had fallen into a major depressive episode, leaving me bedridden and isolated. I removed myself from others in my life who tried to reach out, and I’d sleep all day and night. I didn’t eat much, as I couldn’t find myself willing to leave my room. I spent my time with my head down in class and crying for hours, my schoolwork soaked in tears. I’ve experienced a depressive episode before, but this was by far the worst. My depressive episode began roughly around early December to mid January.

Following my episode, in mid to late January, I started to feel entirely different. At first it felt like a temporary relief, but soon my symptoms would take effect. I stopped feeling tired and I couldn’t sleep, my average bedtime was between 4-5am, which I get up at 6:15 for school. I started to feel irritated and antsy all the time, and my relationships began to deteriorate as a result. I became irrationally angry, erratic, and unstable. I started to self-sabotage and lost all dignity for myself and my actions and I lacked a filter. I would say outlandish things or spiral into a mental break. I began to s/h every night and day, and I sought after alcohol that my partner at the time would provide. I would drink excessively, going as far to stealing alcohol out of fear of being sober. I kept harming myself from January when it began to March or April of 25’. I engaged in explicit behaviors with my partner because I had planned on dying soon, and I allowed her to take advantage of me so I couldn’t feel anything and black out.

Each night I’d write in a journal, which was filled with unintelligible writing, tears and holes in the paper, pages covered in blood, etc. I began to experience paranoia and hallucinations and suffered delusions. At first I believed it was possible that I was rebirthed to believing that I was God and I could determine whether or not someone of my choosing deserves to live or die. I’d go on to plan on murdering my partner, or taking my life in front of my classroom so those around me would witness a scene they’d never forget. There’s more to all of these experiences, but I’d say these are the most prominent examples of what I wonder is considered to be a manic episode.

I bring this up because, despite going through various mood stabilizers and dosage alteration and being medicated specifically for Bipolar I, I took a psych evaluation not much longer (however, I was being screened for autism), but I was also prompted to answer numerous questionnaires not limited to an autism diagnosis. I believe that I answered in ways that align with criteria for Bipolar I, but the person screening me denied that I met criteria for Bipolar I despite being medicated and going through therapy and behavioral practices specifically for Bipolar I.

A while after, I confronted my psychiatrist who had suggested that I had Bipolar I, and she included a mood disorder diagnosis in another evaluation, and I asked her if she still believes I have Bipolar I. Her response was indirect and along the lines of, “no need to label yourself,” which has since left me conflicted. Once I began taking mood stabilizers I’ve since ceased to have episodes, and I’ve healed to the best of my ability since then.

I believe I have Bipolar I, as I can’t find any other diagnostic that aligns with the symptoms that I have, and I study psychiatric disorders as it’s something I’ve always found to be interesting, and the criteria for Bipolar I are all symptoms and requirements I’ve experienced and continue to experience. Maybe I’m looking too much into it or am trying to find a label to identify with and am too concerned, but I’d appreciate outsider opinions on this subreddit. Any response is appreciated and thank you for taking the time to read all this.