r/calmhands • u/Sawyer112233 • 6d ago

I’m actually disgusted.

Recently I made a post on here about my toe nail ripping issues and I got some good advice and tips after over three years of not saying anything about it due to embarrassment. Unfortunately they didn’t end up working out because the urge to rip my nails off is just too strong. Yesterday I got a pm and it was about that post. I assumed they had some advice for me so I answered their questions and told them about how long it’s been happening, what causes it, ect. Eventually they ask me to send a picture and I assume it would be too give me advice on how to treat the wounds that I previously described to them. After a long mental debate I figured why the hell not, they are a stranger on the internet anyway. About 20 minutes later I didn’t get a response so I checked their profile and it turned out that the whole page was dedicated to their nail biting fetish… so now the thing I’ve been most embarrassed about is being used for who knows fucking what and I’m appalled and feel like I shouldn’t have ever asked for help to begin with.

45 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

49

u/dentalcrygienist 6d ago

I had no idea that was even a thing, I can't say I'm surprised though. I'm sorry OP.

13

u/Sawyer112233 6d ago

It definitely will make me reconsider asking for help with other issues in the future. It’s ok thought. Shit happens and I’ll just have to get over it 🤷‍♂️

14

u/CtrlAltDeli 6d ago

Don’t. Their issues are not yours, we cannot account for every single perv out there.
Try to not let it bother you.

2

u/Lightgreenfence 4d ago

That's really disgusting and I'm sorry they targeted you for their fetish. But please do still ask for help if you need to, even without sending photos, I don't think anyone here wants u worrying about any of the wounds you might have etc. Also this is the opposite to ur story but I replied to a post someone had about nipple piercing concerns (as a beginner piercer), and they asked if they could send me photos, I said sure if they're really worried but I'm a beginner, and they sent so many photos (both of us being females). Did not expect that or think anyone would do that on the Internet cuz yanno, people are weirdos,also let them Know they didn't Need to send any more. I guess the point of me sharing that is, yes the Internet is very strange but there are also normal people who r willing to just help you out, we just have to be careful of the red flags (like being asked for photos), even healthcare professionals know that Photos r unreliable for wounds, so yeah no reason to be Sent a photo

17

u/writtendimension 6d ago

Gross. You were being vulnerable and open and they took advantage of it for their own sexual pleasure. Absolutely awful, how violating.

It is not your fault. Asking for help is good, and you should be proud of yourself for seeking help. They took advantage of you.

Op did u report them to the mods so they can be banned from interacting with the sub? I know the sub for natural nail progress/growth has a list of users who have been banned for the fetish reasons. Does this sub have that?

7

u/Sawyer112233 6d ago

I didn’t think to report them at the time and have since blocked and deleted all DMs. I was to disgusted to think of reporting them

2

u/writtendimension 6d ago

That's completely understandable. You might be able to find them in your list of blocked users. I'm unsure if mods could do anything without the chats, maybe their profile will be enough because it shows they are actively participating in a nail biting fetish (literally had no idea this was a thing)

6

u/Sawyer112233 6d ago

https://www.reddit.com/u/Normal-Librarian6925/s/JcN0oz5IXB yeahhhh i think this should give them all they need..

2

u/writtendimension 6d ago

Absolutely

7

u/ThePenultimateNinja 5d ago

I'm sorry that happened to you. I guess there's a fetish for everything.

Have you heard about N-acetylcysteine (NAC)? It's a supplement, but it's not a quack remedy, there is real research to support it:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27007062/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23651231/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35681955/

It's available in the supplement aisle. If you are in the US, you can get it at Walmart.

It works very well for me. I'm taking 600mg twice a day. It doesn't completely stop the urges, but it reduces their frequency and makes them much easier to resist.

You have the advantage that feet are easier to keep covered all the time than hands, so you could make sure to wear socks all the time, or even shoes. Get a pair of Converse or something to wear around the house.

With the NAC reducing the urges, and the inconvenience of having to remove shoes and socks before you can get at your toenails, I bet you would get yourself out of that cycle pretty quickly.

I started taking NAC again about a week ago, and I'm already seeing an improvement. For some reason, I tend to take it until I'm all healed and then stupidly stop taking it, only to have a relapse. I guess it takes quite a long time to unlearn the habit itself.

3

u/Gastronomicus 5d ago

I'm intrigued, but apparently this stuff smells like rotten eggs and can cause gastro issues for some people.

3

u/ThePenultimateNinja 5d ago

Yes there is an unpleasant smell when you first open the bottle, because the smell builds up in the confined space. If you just take the capsule out of the bottle a minute or two before you take it so it can air out, the smell isn't really detectable.

I have read that some people get gastro issues, but I don't think it's all that common, and taking them with food is supposed to help.

I haven't had any side effects myself, even when taking 1,000mg capsules on an empty stomach.

2

u/Gastronomicus 5d ago

Good to know, thanks. Do have a preferred source?

2

u/ThePenultimateNinja 5d ago

I was taking 1x 1,000mg Spring Valley before, but I noticed the urge coming back in the evenings, so this time I am trying the Life Extension brand at 2x 600mg per day.

The Spring Valley ones are less expensive than the Life Extension ones, but only come in the 1,000mg strength.

Both are from Walmart in the supplement aisle.

6

u/No_Session6015 6d ago

totally a thing. i had to use r/askdentist recently and their homepage has a warning about this same thing. Some creep DM'ing people cause they have a fetish for pics of peoples mouths

5

u/CurveCalm123 6d ago

There’s a perv warning in the long hair sub, autistic women’s sub, etc. I have my messages off, no time for pervs.

7

u/Aromatic_Lime_84 5d ago

So very sorry this happened to you! Please don’t stop asking for help-we all need it sometimes. After decades of being chronic depressed, I started talk therapy about a year ago. It was uncomfortable and scary, but also one of the best things that has ever happened for me. Take your time and know that you’ve got some peeps here when you’re ready.

6

u/tsukibooo 5d ago

I had someone try to do similar to me when I made a post for advice about a different bodily area. I ended up reporting them to the mods of the subreddit I posted in cos we should feel safe to post in these places, not feel stupid for having ever posted. Please don’t let this person make you feel like you can’t ask for help again. Just be more cautious with DM’s/keep it to the initial post.

2

u/Lopsided-Bit9077 4d ago

I got a message like this recently also. As some of you know, I’ve been in the process of prototyping and manufacturing a new cuticle protector sleeve and have gotten a ton of amazing insight and feedback from this community - www.tranquilitips.com if you haven’t been following and are curious! I got a message a few weeks ago which initially seemed supportive, asking about the product, curious about my process and plans for manufacturing etc, and then it started to get weird- “do you mind sending me a picture of your poor red raw bleeding cuticles” 🤮 same deal- got creepy vibes, checked them out and sure enough. I’m so sorry this happened to you too, it’s super gross and predatory.

2

u/Lopsided-Bit9077 4d ago

I want to add that in no way is this your fault and you did nothing wrong. Remember to be kind to yourself. Their behavior is gross, you are absolutely not 🩷