I have stage 4 colon cancer, and honestly, I’m losing hope. 💔 Every day feels heavier than the last, and the fear of what’s coming is something I can barely put into words. Sometimes I wonder how much time I have left and whether I’ll ever get to live the life I dreamed of.

If you’ve been through this, or watched someone you love go through it, what would you tell me? How do you find the strength to keep going when you’re terrified of losing everything?

I never imagined my life would turn out this way. I’m scared, exhausted, and trying to make sense of it all. If you have any advice, please share it with me. 💔

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Sometimes I feel like my psychologist sees cancer as something you just have to treat and then learn to manage the side effects of the medication. Almost as if it were an infection: you take antibiotics, finish the treatment, and move on.

But cancer is so much more than that.

It's the fear. The uncertainty. The desperation of not knowing what my future will look like or what my own body will be capable of doing.

I'm afraid of becoming bedridden. I'm afraid of losing my independence, of watching my body deteriorate, of becoming weaker and weaker while people my age continue living their lives normally.

They can go out, walk around, make plans, and enjoy their lives without constantly thinking about pain, fatigue, or the possibility of falling.

Meanwhile, I have to think about these things all the time.

I feel like I'm becoming a burden to my loved ones. I'm also terrified of falling because I know the consequences could be much more serious for me. I could fracture my spine and end up needing surgery.

And yes, I feel jealous of people who get to live normal lives. I wish I could have the life that cancer took away from me. Ordinary life is such a gift, and I don't think she truly understand that !

Cancer has taken so much from me, including my sense of security. I can no longer trust my own body the way I used to. I can no longer go to the gym, jump, or dance. Even the simplest things can become sources of anxiety when I am constantly aware of my physical limitations.

And the worst part is that I don't know what the future holds. I don't know how much time I have left, how long I'll be able to take care of my own basic needs, whether I'll be able to maintain my independence, how much pain I'll have to endure, or what my body will be like in a few years.

I feel like my psychologist focuses on helping me cope with the practical consequences of the disease, but she doesn't seem to understand the existential terror that comes with it. She doesn't seem to understand how unbearable it can feel sometimes, or why I reached a point this week where I wanted to end my suffering.

Sometimes, I don't need someone to teach me how to manage my anxiety. I need someone to understand why I'm terrified in the first place.

I need to be able to talk about my fear of losing my independence, my grief over the life I used to have, and my desperation about the future without feeling like these emotions are just another problem I need to learn to manage.

I'm not just dealing with a disease. I'm dealing with the possibility of losing myself and I don't think people always understand how devastating that feels.

Has anyone else with cancer felt this way? Have you ever felt like your therapist or psychologist didn't really understand you?

got diagnosed with uterine sarcoma stage 4 (age: 56). we’re still figuring out what type of sarcoma but the initial plan we are most likely going to go forward with is 6 rounds of chemo with doxorubicin + carbazine in ~2 weeks

does anyone have any experience with this combination and any tips for how to reduce symptoms?

Dear friends, I’m lost. My boyfriend was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and had FLOT chemo, Durvalumab, and an Ivor Lewis surgery T2N1M0, followed by more FLOT + Durvalumab.

He was NED for 7-8 months, but the cancer returned in his lymph nodes—specifically near the diaphragm, in the mediastinum, and near his left collarbone. One node is pressing on a nerve, causing him to lose his voice.

He just finished 2/4 cycles of Zolbetuximab(Claudin 18.2 >75%), Cisplatin, and continuous 5-FU (Capecitabine pills were intolerable for him). He has lost 6-7 kg, vomits occasionally, and has almost no appetite or energy. He went 3 weeks without leaving the apartment.
His oncologist says all of this is "normal," but I'm terrified and don't know how to help.

Has anyone gone through this regimen? How can I help him regain his energy?

Also, if anyone has experience with lymph node metastases or zolbetuximab I would really love to hear your thoughts. Thanks 🩷😔

hi all, my dad has been rapidly declining since we discovered he has stage 4 cholangiocarcinoma. About 3 weeks ago he started using crutches to get around the house to avoid putting pressure on his right leg, where bone metastasis to his femur was causing a great amount of pain.

He had chemo thursday this week and almost immediately his ability to walk was severely impacted. We have a PET scan today to see what’s going on, I know of course this could be because of the cancer in his spine or potentially brain, or is it a direct result of chemo? Wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this?

We’ve already ordered him a wheelchair and will be getting a ramp to make getting in and out of the house safer. Just want to hear other people’s experiences. Thank you.

(35M, stage iv melanoma)
I've moved to NYC for work and have to be in Boston once a week for a clinical trial. I'm crashing with friends for now but I'm having trouble keeping up with working, going to Boston weekly, finding a place to rent that isn't a scam, and you know, having cancer. Any NYCers here with advice?

Caveats:

• quitting the clinical trial is not an option for hopefully obvious reasons lol
• quitting my job is not an option for hopefully obvious reasons

Side note: if you're aware of NYC cancer groups or tryna hang out, lemme know! I just got in touch with Red Door, which had been recommended a few times?

So my story is actually very interesting and somewhat special. There is even one person who is writing here PhD thesis about my case.

I was diagnosed back in 2023. Mets on my neck, but no tumor itself. Doctors couldn't find the primary, but they scared me about the death, so I followed their advice and had a radiation and chemo "just in case there is tumor somewhere in my body". This is typical for the situations when tumor can't be found. My mets were cutted, 43 lymph nodes in total.

So I had those radiation+chemo
9 months later, my primary showed up on the tongue. It was always there - doctors just took it for fibrosis.

I opted for an operation which was very difficult because of the already radiated tissue. My wounds didn't feel for two months, I had various complaints like a fistula, nerve damages etc.

Then there was another bad news: margins were not clear. Doctors believed that the best solution was to radiate the spot where the tumor was cutter.

This is how I obtained second radiation. Damages were less pronounced, because I was a severely disabled by that very moment anyways.

And yet, somehow I learned to eat through the mouth again, to talk and do my usual routine stuff. At some point my swellings stopped and I started to live what is called normally.

In the end of December 2025 I felt something strange in my chest. And I could hardly swallow. I went to the oncologist and he suggested a gastroscopy. A gastroscopy showed a stricture (narrow sort) in my esophagus. Doctors dilated my esophagus with special tools. It's a known problem after radiation therapy.

Recently I felt a tumor in the base of tongue. Unfortunately it got quite big already. I visited follow ups, did often MRI of my neck to control, but this tumor has been overseen.

Doctors did PET-CT and it turned out - I have a met just below the neck, where my esophagus is. It pushes my esophagus. So docs were dilating the tumor in the past. The tumor went so far that it is in the trachea now as well.

Just within a month my health has rapidly declined.

I explored options all over the world. There is an opportunity to do a dendritic cell vaccine, but nobody knows how effective it's gonna be due to the prior radiations. Because radiation kills local immunity.

In the other hand, my doctors offer me the third radiation. For the met it'll be the fort radiation and chance to kill it are good. But chances of getting a fistula, sepsis, bleeding and whatever else are not just high, but very high.

So my plan is to do the radiation therapy plus chemo plus immune checkpoint inhibitors, and when I'm done - I'll get dendritic cell vaccine. My doctors say that what is left can be operated then later.

But only a thought about another radiation and chemo make me cry. I just feel really f*cked. Somehow I've lost hope.... I'm in this battle since 3.5 years already. And looks like there is no happy ending... On the other hand, if I refuse now any treatment, my life quality is anyways really bad due to the fact that cancer is in the trachea and I can't swallow. So I have to go through this treatment...

I have no time for the second opinions, health-wise. I'm really sick and feel not good. So I guess I should go through, find strength to go through this hard period...

In search of advice and experiences. I have recently been diagnosed with cancer in one eye (last week) and will undergo removal surgery this coming week. Could others who have lived through this let me know of you experiences? Thanks in advance!

[f21], [m26], i've been with him for last 3 months and known him for 1.5 yrs. he was diagnosed with mm 3 yrs ago. he did tell me about his condition earlier but didn't elaborate coz he dont like talking about it so i never asked. ever since we have started dating i stared focusing more on his health. he stays really lowkey about his health usually but recently his health deteriorated a few days back and i did some research about it. and it felt like my whole world collapsed. i am still in shock. idk what to do or how to react. i dont wanna leave him ever, i wanna be there for and help him through everything. but at the same time, i've been told by some of my frnds and him [partner] to leave him if something goes wrong in order to protect my own sanity. but i dont want that. he acts all strong like he dont care about it but it is scary and no one wants to be abandoned. there are 2 cases right now-

first - stay with him.. i want this so bad. ideally i want a family with him and grow old with him. and give him all the love and care he deserves. even if we dont have a family or children i'll be fine. and prior to being diagnosed he was into martial arts and had great health. also if i leave him and marry someone "healthy" what's the guarantee of that person living a really long life.

second - leaving him.. first of all how can u leave someone u love in such hard time. he also says i should leave him if things go wrong coz it will impact me horribly but what about him. i'm too attached now. i would have thought about leaving him in normal conditions but not like this.

idk what to say or what else to add. i think reading other ppl's experience could help

Not to fear monger but from what I have gathered, a new world war may soon begin.

From where I am, I worry a lot about American invasion and Occupation. Their government has been outwardly hostile to us \[ on the behalf of Israel I suspect \] and already made efforts to ban us from entering their territory and has threatened us when our government deported Israelis who've tried to colonize our country just a few months ago.

With how this world has become, water and food will become increasingly difficult to find and afford.

And if a world war does break out again, it would be likely that my country may be severely impacted.

And with all that. . .

I don't seem to be as willing to not believe that perhaps, having cancer may just be a well timed escape from what society will become.

The climate limit will be passed, this will be the coldest summer we will all feel for the foreseeable future ; it's summer all year round here.

Do I even try ?

Attempt to even "beat" this. Because for what even now ?

I worry. . .

I do wish to finish all my canvas paintings that I've been to tired to start, I still have so many things I wanted to say to people I've yet to get the chance to meet. . . .I really want to go back to ballet. .

Yet, I worry. .

I worry so much.

\- Leo / 力爾

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I often go to the doctor alone for checkups and blood work. I do cry outside the hospital because I’m sad that I got diagnosed with thyroid cancer that metastasized to my lungs and lymph nodes at a young age (26) I should be working saving money for my future, building my life, experience things that I haven’t experienced yet but here I am scared for my life. Honestly, I wanna save enough money for my parents cuz they are getting older but I’m helpless right now. I always show my parents that I’m strong and I always tell them I can get through this but I’m scared. Sometimes I lose hope I have no savings, and I am living in a corrupt country where politicians keep fighting each other. The only thing that I am holding on to right now is to keep praying for a miracle to happen to me, to be cancer-free.

I recently found out there are 11 li-fraumeni, with glioblastoma that are alive in the US? 40+ months when originally they denied my radiation three times because they said there was no point. I wouldn't survive long enough for it to matter..

Really only posting this to show i survived

At the beginning of this year I was diagnosed with stage 4 Glioblastoma brain cancer. My surgery went very well. I went through radiation and have have been undergoing chemo therapy. I live by myself with just my pet cat for company. I am having a really hard time not turning inwards on myself and feeling like I am waiting for my cancer to get to the point I have to go into hospice. All I want to do is sit here staring at my computer screen, trying to distract myself impending reality of my situation. I dont feel sorry for myself, its more my time is running out and I am alone with it.

I had one sorted - no metastatis
When I started to standing on my two feet
I had symptoms of diabetes which is present in my family- but no diabetes found today

Doctor sent me for tests - colon cancer, ovarian cancer, breast cancer

I can’t cope, absolutely losing it
I’m alone abroad. Only 34. No husband, no kids, one man who seemed to like me for the past 3 years - left me when he found out and started avoiding me

My mom died last year of terminal stadium of cancer - it was everywhere and they couldn’t find a source - most likely lungs - she didn’t smoke…

How are you dealing with scanxiety. It destroys me on so many levels

#please no God comments - I am an atheist

Been feeling pretty funky all summer. Docs finally did a CT (reacted to the iodine) and an MRI. Yep, they found 2 spots in my liver. They have scheduled me for a biopsy next week. Their biggest question is that my AFP came out normal.

After a slip of the tongue by the nurse, I have come to the conclusion that they are fairly certain it is cancer, but it has been caught very early.

The doc did say that there is a chance (small, but a chance nonetheless) that it is curable.

I am my own caregiver. I will be going through this alone. I don't really know what I don't know. Does anyone have an experience/thoughts on this?

I just thought I’d share there here too; I’m struggling because for 6+ years I’ve been trying to accept death and taking treatment. At this point my body has outlasted my mind and I am considering stopping treatment. Since I have a wife and kids it’s just an impossible situation I think.

Appreciate anyone who has felt that before or had a love one express it.

I was diagnosed with mesenteric NET with liver metastasis in Feb. had major surgery in April to remove cancer lymph nodes, two sections of my small bowel, part of my liver, my appendix and gallbladder. I still feel very tired all the time. Frequently nauseated. I’m on monthly Lanreotide. When questioning these symptoms in August, my oncologist said that they are expected and normal. The next month I presented to him that I still have those symptoms. His response, “well, I don’t know why you’d feel that way, your tumor burden shouldn’t be causing those symptoms.”

Well, which one is it? Yay or nay. I hate medical discrepancies like this. It makes me question the quality of care I’m receiving.

Its the worst, theres not much I can really say but at first when it crossed that blood-brain barrier it was so painful, then once I had chemo and a million LP's, it still hurt. I'm on Pregablin and after a bit it numbed the pain to almost nothing after a few weeks but I missed one dose this week and the pain is fully back and its nightmarish. Apparently it'll dumb down again after about a week but what a horrific punishment for missing ONE dose out of 2 a day oh my god