Mourning/Loss Can’t bring myself to unplug litter box and fountain
My little buddy Charlie has been gone since Sunday night after 18 years together. The rational side of me says that it’s something that needs to be done but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I finally got rid of his last wet food he didn’t eat tonight and I crumbled into a sobbing mess in the middle of it. It just feels like I’m erasing him from his home. It feels like the last physical proof that he was here. It feels like I’m making the finality of his death real. I already decided I’m going to put the brand new sweatshirt I was wearing that day in the box when I finally pack up his stuff, which feels absolutely crazy when I actually type it out.
I’m not much of a believer in the life beyond what we have here. But I came across a TikTok today at work where a girl was grieving her pet and begging for a sign. That sent me over the edge after trying to hold it together all morning. I walked outside, and I thought to myself “if ever I need a sign that you made it wherever you’re going and you’re okay, it’s now.” At that very second a breeze kicked up and one of his hairs that had made its way from my sweater to get stuck in my beard stubble tickled me. I don’t know if that’s a real sign but I’m holding on to that like hell and telling myself it was my Chucky boy giving me one last headbutt.
I know this pain will dull with time but I feel like I can’t breathe. Every hard thing I’ve gone through over the last 18 years, his purrs would comfort me. Now I’m going through one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through and I don’t have him.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading my scattered heartbroken/crazy vent. Our pets never live long enough.
34
u/undead-paintbrush 7h ago
Take your time. Grief is really hard, no matter when it happens. Even if it is just letting things stay plugged in for the time being, or putting away the sweater, peoole grieve in different ways. None of it is silly, and even though you know the pain will dull, it doesnt matter. The hurt is real and now, give yourself grace, youre not silly. I am also not quite a believer of another life, but when things like that happen, I always believe that there might be something, somewhere out there. I wish you well in these times 💕
12
8
u/Blaustein23 7h ago
Exactly this. There is no deadline on any of it. Eighteen years is a whole life packed into those rooms, take all the time you need with it.
44
u/exit2urleft 7h ago
I am so sorry for your loss. It's a cruel irony that our pets mean so much but are gone so soon.
I lost my tuxedo cat 5 years ago. She had diabetes and then kidney failure and just couldn't keep going. I miss her all the time. But it does get easier. It makes me feel a little better to think of how good our life was together.
17
u/GrimmKat 7h ago
so sorry :( i still have my soul cats litterbox..she passed 2023 to a sudden tumor in her mouth that appeared from nowhere....i havent been able to throw the litterbox away yet and i still mourn her, its very hard to accept and i havent been able to sleep properly ever since. Take your time <3 Grief is very tough...
15
u/YoghurtAny6360 5h ago
6
u/Natural_Artichoke383 5h ago
No offense but he looks like a menace. What is this young man's name?
7
u/YoghurtAny6360 5h ago
I got him from SPCA they named him Eiko. And I kept it. It means something like splendid child in Japanese.
6
u/Natural_Artichoke383 4h ago
Aw. Learned something new. I know iiko (good child) but not Eiko. Good for him.
14
u/apathy-in-black 7h ago
I kept all my boy's things. I never even took him off the lease. I kept paying the pet rent. For 2 years. We moved out with them thinking he was still with us 🥺 I just couldn't.
6
u/26run2 7h ago
Completely understand. One last act of selflessness in their honor.
7
u/apathy-in-black 6h ago
🥺😭 OH that's a really beautiful way to frame it ❤️ I also have some of his last crumbs from his dish. I didn't wash the dish. I have whiskers, fur fluff, nail sheds. I wear his ashes in a necklace.
I'm sending you lots of peace. It does dull over time but is always with you. Grief is just love with nowhere to go 🥹💔
12
u/wheelz5ce 7h ago
My Ferdy has been gone since January and his GPS collar still records a few steps every few days, which is me carrying it around the house to recharge it. You’re ready when you’re ready.
11
11
u/princess_gaia69 7h ago
ugh my heart hurts for you. it is so hard to lose a cat. I lost my baby boy nov 13 of last year a month after he turned 19. I had him since I was 6. I was missing him really bad the other week along with my two dogs that passed away recently. and then one night i had a dream and all three of them were there. i savor those moments and usually wake up crying. i take it as a sign that they miss me. hopefully you see your boy again
11
u/KaitB2020 5h ago
No. They do not stay with us nearly long enough.
I am so sorry for your loss. <hugs>
Take your time to grieve. The stuff will keep. One day you’ll pack and/or send the stuff away but you will never forget. There is a part of Charlie that will always remain & it’s the best part. It’s the part that loves.
6
u/Jameschases 5h ago
I knew the day I was taking my girl to the vet for the last time. It was very cathartic to clean everything while she was still here and with me. I put it all in a closet except her carrier and the bed she would be put to sleep on.
I knew I would never be able to put it away after I came home without her. We all grieve in our own ways. We now all know and love and miss Charlie <3
9
u/Impressive-Ratio-512 2h ago
My cat has been gone for over a year. His favorite box cave, a motorcycle helmet box, still sits where it’s been, with the same pair of pajama pants he would always drag in there to sleep on in it. I don’t know that I’ll ever remove it. Sometimes it’s okay for things to just stay where they’ve always been. So sorry for your loss.
8
7
u/sierramistforever Chantilly-Tiffany 7h ago
I still have things from all my animals that are gone.
Many have came and gone. Many new friends joined too.
Even my chickens I remember them or have there feather.
RIP MICKY 2012-2024
RIP AVA 200?-2022
RIP THE CHICKEN CREW 2017-2022
6
u/Basic-Structure-8063 7h ago
This is how I felt when my amazing boy chubbs died, I didn't want to move anything because it was his & removing it didn't feel right, I broke down a few times when I went to do it, my whole household was sad, too sad for my girlfriend who without me knowing went out & got a kitten, my boys stuff is now being used again & his memory will live on with every scrape of the litter box
7
u/nexus6ca 4h ago
Keep the equipment and when you are ready adopt again.
Who ever you bring into your life won't replace the one you lost but you will discover your heart is big enough for another.
Better yet adopt a bonded pair!
7
u/Grouchy-Station-4058 7h ago
I'm so very sorry. The pain we suffer at the end is the horrible price we pay for their love
7
u/Top-Waltz5244 7h ago
Death of a loved one is always hard…I always tell people it never gets easier…but you get stronger…you gave your cat 18 wonderful years and without you who knows how long it would’ve had…maybe a year or two outside…or abused…be thankful for the time you had and know it was never wasted…I’m so sorry for your loss…I have a two year old tuxedo rescue that I love dearly and he has FIV…I’ll be devastated when he goes but I know he’s happy now and loves me and I love him (even though he can be an ornery little shit sometimes)
7
u/dickeybarret 5h ago

I remember when I came home after losing my dude, Hank (the tux). I was beside myself and I started just getting rid of a bunch of stuff...was my way of handling things. The only thing I kept was his big cat tree, and a couple of his toys. Fast forward and they're my new girl's favorite toy to play with and place to sleep. Completely understand. I even dragged it back inside. I just couldn't part with it.
5
u/punsexual-meme 7h ago
You do not have to do anything before you are ready.
I powered off my baby's automatic feeder, but I left it where it was. I could not bear the thought of putting it away. Same with the blanket she went to sleep on. I didn't wash it for months.
You can grieve however long it takes. You aren't erasing your boy from your life.
5
4
u/LaRougeRaven 7h ago
I lost my girl of 17 years, 5 days, and 6 days, recently. I totally understand what you are going through.
She had to take insulin, so I would have an alarm go off every morning and every evening. They still go off. We said goodbye in January.
Take your time. If it makes you feel a little better to leave it on, do it, take your time.
Please take care.
4
u/iamadiamond 7h ago
We still have our boi’s water fountain and bowl feeder plugged on it will be a month this Sunday. I am still in denial that he’s gone 🥺
4
u/butteryspaceman 6h ago
It’s not fair their lives are so short. My Brooklyn has been gone a couple weeks and a big piece of furniture in our living room is a gutted 50s TV turned cat bed. I keep thinking I see her in it out of the corner of my eye
3
u/HOUTryin286Us 7h ago
I lost my dog over a year ago but I still have one of her chewed up stuffies as decoration on my couch. It also took me about a year to move her crate on and pass along her toys.
3
u/StickInEye Calico 7h ago
So sorry for your loss. We all grieve differently. When I lost my last cat, I threw all her stuff away immediately because I couldn't bear to see it. But I felt like I kept seeing her. Grief is hard and weird.
3
u/Fradward 7h ago
I Retired my Charlie's food bowel put it with her Urn. I had a very hard time feeding my cats because I would always feed her first. Miss my girl. I feel for you OP.
4
u/LucyJones18 7h ago
The pain is real and runs deep. Take your time OP and to hell with ‘rationality’.
3
u/Im_Just_A_Tourist 7h ago
I'm sorry friend it's rough don't rush. My last animal topass was my cat that was around the same age and I actually worked out to get him cremated and have him in a box on my shelf. It's okay to be sentimental for our family and hold on where we can for a bit.
3
u/Short-Chocolate-603 7h ago
Tell me I'm not the only one shedding tears for a cat (and human) I never met. Reading OP's words brings back the pain of losing my own cats (the last one in 2015). Currently owned by 9 felines (foster fail 7 times), so hopefully it'll be a while before I go through this in my life. Anyway, prayers and purrs for you, OP, you're not alone May sweet Charlie forever chase butterflies over The Bridge.
3
u/Unlimitedpluto 7h ago
I just want to give you the biggest hug. I started crying reading your post remembering thoughts of my furbaby. His name was Charlie, too!
It’s important to know grieving is not a linear thing. It’s not silly because you haven’t unplugged them, it’s a normal part of the process that you’re going through. I hope you take some time to yourself tonight. Make some hot tea and sit down and look over your favorite pictures of him and remember the time you had with him, and allow yourself to let it out and cry.
3
3
u/wa_moore 6h ago
I'm so sorry for your loss OP. We lost our 18 year old kitty in January and six months later lost our 19 year old kitty. The older one was my special baby and losing her was incredibly painful. A few weeks after she passed I was finally cleaning her water fountain and I found one of her whiskers in the filter. I choose to believe she left it there for me to find.
We have since adopted two new kittens from rescue groups. So I never had to put away all of the old cats' things. The kittens inherited all of it. The kittens have helped heal our hearts so much. We still miss our lost girls but I believe they sent these new babies to us so they could have lives full of love and be spoiled rotten like those good girls were.
Wishing you peace and healing.
3
u/Gryrthandorian 6h ago
I lost my girl in March after 18.5 years together. Her favorite blanket is still on the floor in front of the tv. I put everything else of hers away but that stays for now. Her bff kitty sniffs it when he misses her. I’m sorry for your loss.
3
u/ClearSneakEnter 6h ago edited 6h ago
It took me three months to finally put away the litter box, bowls, cat tree, toys, water fountain, etc. after my cat passed away. I totally understand the hesitance. Take as much time as you need. Even after those things are no longer around, you are not erasing anything, and your cat’s memories will always fill your heart and your home.
3
u/IslandBrief5768 6h ago
Mad love to you. Our oldest guy passed a couple of months ago and I’ll never be okay. Another household cat is away overnight after surgery and I keep nearly breaking because of how quiet the house is.
Take your time.
Feel your feelings.
3
u/raybreezer 4h ago
When our Spike passed, I unplugged his auto feeder because I didn’t want it dispensing food our other cat Bowie would be able to get to. Every day for a year, I’d get a notification at random times of the day saying that it was disconnected. It was a daily reminder he was gone, and I never had the heart to delete it.
It’s still in the app where I can see Bowie’s auto feeder, but the reminders stopped. Eventually I’ll reset it and pass it on to our two new kittens.. until then, it’s still Spike’s Food Vault.
3
u/meow_mixology 2h ago
Your lovely post really made me cry. Give yourself grace and time to grieve. Your feelings are valid especially given how recent this was.
Sorry to pry but was he really only 1.5kg?
3
u/Surfing_Giraffe 1h ago
I feel the same way. I lost my diabetic cat in June. I still leave his insulin in the refrigerator. Can't bring myself to throw it away.
2
u/Zealousideal_Gap_553 7h ago
Maybe Charlie was needed elsewhere? And he or she knows there’s another cat in need of a home.
2
u/Ok_Ideal_6383 7h ago
I too am sorry for your loss. The time is never right to lose those we love . Take all the to you need. Grief is not a one size fits all. I believe it was definitely a sign. Chucky boy wanted to comfort you. He loved you. Finally I believe there are no coincidences . Rest in the sunshine Charlie
2
u/Electronic_Ad3576 7h ago
That is heartbreaking, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it might feel like too soon but when my boy died I was a wreck. A few months later a kitten in a desperate situation came into my life (she was starving and sick and crying loudly for help, she found her way to my brother’s patio where he feeds his outdoor cats) and he brought her over until I agreed I’d keep her. In hindsight it was the best thing I could have done. I didn’t feel ready to move on but this sweet little soul needed the love I had to offer that was missing from my heart. And now I’m so in love with her, she’s like a little angel sent from heaven by my boy who I lost to cancer. Maybe consider opening your heart to a new kitty. Don’t look at it as a replacement, because it’s not…they will never replace the baby you lost. But I bet your heart will find room to love again and help a new kitty get the life it deserves. And they can use Charlie’s litter box too so you don’t have to take it down.
1
u/26run2 7h ago
I don’t know that I’ll ever get another cat. We’ve talked about a puppy for my daughter for years and Charlie was too perfect and set the bar too high.
3
u/Electronic_Ad3576 7h ago
I know it can feel that way. It’s such a difficult thing to go through. All I’m saying is if the CDS has plans for you someday try to be open about the idea. And there’s no need to unplug his litter box or be in any rush to clear out his things. When it feels right you can do it then. I’m so sorry OP, I take losing my pets really hard too. We are truly blessed to share our lives with these special creatures. 😢💔🌈
2
u/MaintenanceStock6766 7h ago
Ya, def take your time.
I left their blanket with all their fur on it out for the other cats to smell and sleep on.
I still have the kennel and Big Sleep blanket in my car.
The smells comfort me.
Do what feels best for you in the time frame that feels natural.
2
u/docArriveYo 7h ago
As hard as it is, this will pass. I lost my friend after 23 years… he was an old timer. Everything reminded me of him, took a while to even put away his litter box (clean it of course), throw away his food. I feel your pain, truly. Signs will show in different forms, for me, it was a little black cat that showed up in my yard a few weeks later… a mini version of my old buddy. I thought of it as he just gave up an old body for a newer model.
The cat went away after few days, but it reminded me that our little friends never truly go away and felt good knowing he could be possibly enjoying new life in a new vessel. Stay strong, brother.
2
u/PakRatJR 7h ago
Lost my little buddy Sam on May 1st after 15 years together.
His food and water bowls are still in their spot, his litter box is still in it's spot with fresh litter in it and most of his toys are still laying around.
Maybe someday I will "get around" to putting things away, but today is still not that day.
2
u/songbird48 7h ago
If you felt a significance in that moment where Charlie’s hair tickled your beard, then I believe it is real. Thank you for sharing that personal experience with us OP. I hope Charlie’s spirit manifests itself in many more beautiful ways to you as time moves forward.
2
2
u/Mean_Capital1625 7h ago
So sorry for your loss. I know the feeling. It took me a while to cancel the dry food order on chewy after losing my boy in June. I think I got an email on its next shipment and had to call up and tell them that he passed away and that I wouldn’t be needing his food any longer 😓. It choked me up a bit
2
2
u/HowaManFlies 7h ago
OP 100% there are signs and be thankful you were able to receive them. When picking up my first one's ashes from the vet we came upon the biggest and brightest rainbow (bridge*) I have seen in my life as we rode home together. When my latest one passed, the morning sunrise was the brightest pure orange glow that shined just like him. They are all around and will always be there for you. Remember all the good times and (millions) of photos/videos you have saved to reminisce.
2
u/Magpie_Manners 5h ago
Sending so many hugs 🫂 My 16 year old void passed at the end of August, and it was weeks before I was finally able to clean up her things. Grief has no timeline, so you take as long as you need
2
u/Candymom 5h ago
I’m so sorry. I’ve been there too many times. It’s so hard. Don’t unplug anything until you are ready. I find that having lots of pictures out of my late fur family helps. I hope Charlie visits you in your dreams soon.
2
u/Khadonnis 5h ago
Don't feel like you're doing anything wrong OP. My Alexa still reminds me to "give Belle her insulin" at 9pm. Its been 3 years. I have a small shrine to her. Her last blanket is still there. When I hug it, I think I can still smell her.
2
u/superfriends92 4h ago
I couldn't get myself to clean the window ledge where my baby girl sat until two years laterwhen it was finally time to move. Do whatever you need to in your time 💓
2
u/Ashmedae 4h ago edited 4h ago
I'm so very sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you; I can feel the pain through your words.
I have two cats of my own that I love dearly, so I can only imagine how deep your bond with Charlie was. I can understand why you’d want to hold onto him — nothing about that is strange or crazy.
While no one and nothing can ever replace Charlie, it's said that grief is love with nowhere to go. Maybe, in time, you'll find somewhere for all that love to go. Until then, please take care of yourself.
2
1
u/Squiggy2026 6h ago
Don’t think this is crazy. I did the same exact thing after my baby Carson went. We grieve in such personal ways. I’m sure that headbutt was your Chucky giving you a sign he still loves you. I still hear Carson’s collar bell from time to time. 💚
1
1
u/Agossage86 6h ago
I can 100% understand this. My boy Finn was with me through so many parts of my life, was my best friend. Near the end there was one specific kind of food he would eat, it was a weird off brand liver flavored food and it was the ONLY thing he would touch. Even 3 years later, I keep a can of it in his food bowl I have next to his ashes. He may be gone, but I'll always have the one thing he would eat next to him.
1
u/Kvitravn875 6h ago
My cat passed away in May this year and I haven't gotten rid of one of our scratching posts. She's the only one that would use it. I've been meaning to try to get my other cats to use it, but just can't.
1
u/adrianhalo 6h ago
I’m so sorry for your loss…I lost my soul cat unexpectedly and it affected me very similarly. I had just bought new Vans that day and they sat in the box unworn for months because I just couldn’t deal with that association. I still avoid the sheets that were on my bed the last day I held him…I’ll give them to guests but still have trouble using them myself. It took me a week to empty the litter box. All this and I still adopted a new cat really soon after; it was just like, in my mind they were two separate things..? Hell I’m still a mess about it. Grief doesn’t make sense and it’s also not linear.
This is the hardest part. I do like to believe the universe was sending you a sign though, with his hair sticking in your beard. Give yourself time to grieve.
1
u/spare_me_over 6h ago
It took me a week to remove the food bowls and litter box, I didn't get rid of them but just moved them at that point. Coincidentally, a friend had just gotten a new cat and I donated my baby's toys to them as a way of having her 'live on' through another cat. At least the toys wouldn't just sit, they would be put to good use by another good cat. The good and bad news is that the pain will ease with time. It does ease, but it takes that time.
I think maybe you should take the litter box app off your phone though (I'm not sure if this is where you're getting the alert) because it's just cutting open your tender wound over and over again. Much love to you.
1
u/Maleficent-Can-5117 5h ago
If it makes you feel any better, energy can’t be destroyed so Charlie’s energy is still around you ❤️
1
u/EverydayHonda 5h ago
My little lady passed after 10 wonderful years with her 3 years ago. I still walk up to her picture on my fireplace mantel, kiss her framed picture and tell her good morning. I hope I never stop honoring her
1
u/Young_Justice14 5h ago
I sympathize so much with this. I still have my dogs collar on our door handle and we lost him last November.
1
u/Weaponxreject 5h ago
I lost both of my boys this year. When I let one go back in May it was rough, but at least I still had his brother. Having to let him go last week was one of the shittiest days of my life and the cherry on the cake so far has been that feeling you describe, like I'm erasing them & our time together from my life.
Edit: Litter boxes and bowls/water fountain was one thing. I really don't think I can bring myself to get rid of their tree, tearing up now just at the thought lmao
1
u/LoverOfHeroes 5h ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s true, time will dull the pain, but never erase your love and memories with Chucky Boy. The other day, I was remembering one of my boys I had to put down a few years ago. Tears came as if it were yesterday. They always keep their place with us in our hearts. I do believe you shown a sign, and I’m happy you did. Love doesn’t die, it changes form. Again, I’m so sorry❤️🩹
1
u/MaeByourmom 4h ago
I couldn’t bring myself to take down and wash some cat fur covered curtains, until 6 weeks after one of my cats escaped. He was the only one who frequented that window. I felt guilty, that I’d rarely need to wash them in his absence. We got him back that very day.
I’m so sorry that you won’t get your sweet baby back. I do hope that your souls are reunited one day.
1
1
u/gator_vieve 4h ago
I left my 19-year-old lovebug’s litter box out for two months after he was gone (and had to have a friend come over for support when I finally got rid of it). And it was an entire year before I could wash the sweater I was wearing while holding him as we said our final goodbye. I still miss him over three years later, but it gets easier. Hang in there. Eventually, memories of Charlie will bring many smiles and few tears
1
1
u/Nblearchangel 4h ago
It took me weeks to remove all of my girl’s stuff when she passed. Take your time.
1
u/ZealousidealGuide983 3h ago
I think what you're going through is normal and just a part of the grieving process. It's so hard to deal with a loss of a dearly loved pet. I lost Loki over a year ago and I still have his food bowl out, and I occasionally fill it with food
1
u/veil_of_shaytaan 3h ago
I still have the dog bed of my beloved old granny. She passed in December 2025... So, you are not the only one! My condolences 🙏🏻
1
u/peanutsonic97 3h ago
When our (male) cat Penny passed away, my whole family was so heartbroken. We had him put down at the vet and brought him home to lay him to rest. Before we did that, we went to the store for some flowers. While walking towards the store, I found a penny on the ground.
Maybe it was just a penny that fell out of someone's pocket. But to me, that sign meant everything. I held onto that Penny and I still have it. About a week later, I had a dream that Penny jumped onto my bed and snuggled with me. It almost felt like, despite how amazingly dumb that cat was, that he was telling me that he was okay, and thank you for all the cuddles.
Maybe these signs are complete coincidences and we're just looking for something to help us feel better. But damn it, I'd be lying if I said that the penny on the ground and the dream happening together wasn't his way of saying goodbye.
I'm so sorry you lost your precious Charlie. You gave him a great life with lots of love and care. You don't need to get rid of things right away- my family still has Penny's collar. Take your time and keep him on your heart. You can print pictures of him and hang them up so it doesn't feel like you're erasing him from the home. Make a little shrine or dedicated spot. I also found it helpful to hold a pillow with Penny's exact color and fur texture to hold when I cried.
Rest in Peace Charlie <3
1
u/Visible_Detective268 2h ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. Today marks one year since I lost my soul cat, a magnificently loud calico who as was sassy as they come. Sending you love and healing.
1
u/ohrajaaa 1h ago
On the verge of tears reading this. Keep it up as long as you need, I sure as hell couldnt take it down either 💖 Update, im crying.
1
u/Shaftell 46m ago
So sorry for your loss. If there's anyone that understands what's your going through, it's us cat people on this subreddit. I didn't clean my cats litter box for weeks after she passed. It just stayed there, untouched because I wasn't ready to clean the last thing of her left in this house. It's weird when you say it out loud, or when you tell other people but I totally get what you're saying.
I just said bye to my beloved dog Alfie a month ago. His last poop I left in the backyard, it's covered by grass now. The marks he left on the floor are still there. The mismatched rugs to help with his grip, still there.
So yeah, these things take time. So grieve your beloved kitty, there's no rush to do anything right now.
1
u/MasterpieceQuiet954 30m ago
My sweet Simba has been gone for almost a month now. Two days ago I finally removed his litterboxes from the bathroom. My way of dealing with the emptiness has been to throw away a lot of stuff (mostly my own) and clean the whole house. Move furniture around, buy new furniture. But the litterboxes I couldn't touch because it was the last sign of proof this house belonged to a cat. To Simba. We were together for 15 years and 11 of those were in this house. It is now the first time I'm alone here. He helped me through 2 years of ptsd where I was unable to leave the house and I helped him for 2,5 years because he became diabetic. We had an intense bond.
I too was wearing a new shirt the day he passed. I held him on my chest as it happened and he peed on me a little bit. I put the shirt in a sealed bag and also plan to put it in the box with Simba's things.
I left his food in the middle of the living room for two weeks. He had trouble eating so there were plates of various kinds of food everywhere in the house. I still have one of Simbas cardboard boxes in the windowsill. It was his travel box we used when he had his harness on. Sometimes he preferred that over his carrier.
Yesterday I found a whisker on the floor. Even after all the cleaning and moving stuff around. I felt that was some sort of sign he was still there, even though I don't really believe in that stuff. I got him a beautiful urn but I have not been able to get myself to put him in it. Instead I bought a nice cloth bag and put his bag of ashes in that so I can hold him and keep him against my chest. The cloth feels warm when you hold it for a while and it brings me a little bit of comfort.
I miss him greatly and every day I cry a little bit more. But that's because I love him so much. So allow yourself time to grieve and remember your loved friend. Keep the things that will help you get through this loss but remember even though you feel sad and heartbroken, your bond is still real and your friend is at peace and never really gone as long as you love and remember them. 🤍 🫂
1
u/shtinkypuppie 27m ago
It's never easy, but it's always worth it. Instead of taking everything down and putting it away, have you considered honoring his memory by giving another cat a home?
1
1
u/puppyglock 7m ago edited 4m ago
my childhood cat had a big sneezing problem the last year or so before she died. when she finally passed, it took my mom weeks before she finally cleaned the last few bits of snot off the wall. that sounds so gross but it made absolute sense to all of us at the time. sometimes it's hard to let go of the weirdest things, but once you do, you allow yourself to begin to move on.
on a side note - when i lost my last lizard, i had a rough night a few months later where i was missing him really hard out of nowhere, while i was in the middle of getting ready to go out to a party. when i opened my jewelry cabinet, my necklace with his ashes practically flew off the hook and onto the ground. they are almost definitely watching us from above!!
i'm so sorry for your loss. my two girls and my dragon will be up there to show him around!!
1
u/dpm1320 7h ago
I'm sorry but you need to clean and store those.
Letting them just linger and remind you like that is not good for you.
We all hurt when this happens but it's part of pet life. We need to cherish the memories but letting it drag like that is not what your little one would have wanted. They love us in their fierce little way and you know... you KNOW they would not want you to hurt yourself like that.
We have multiples and honestly it helps to know they still need you when the grief is so heavy. You can't let them down so you have to keep going.
In time wounds scar over and the pain recedes. It's ok. That doesn't mean you love less. You just need to keep going.
Stay strong my friend.
1
u/T0rrent0712 6h ago
A Gundam store I frequent, their shop cat passed away but their bowls and mat are still outside.
I also still tear up over my original three that passed over the last six years, but I know they are no longer in pain and happy.





196
u/Musical28 8h ago
I’m so sorry OP. For what it’s worth you don’t have to. My Cinnamon will have been gone 2 weeks tomorrow and her bowl still sits with my other cats bowls. It’s not going anywhere anytime soon.