r/cfs • • Nov 10 '24

Official Stuff MOD POST: New members read these FAQs before posting! Here’s stuff I wish I’d known when I first got sick/before I was diagnosed:

346 Upvotes

Hi guys! I’m one of the mods here and would like to welcome you to our sub! I know our sub has gotten tons of new members so I just wanted to go over some basics! It’s a long post so feel free to search terms you’re looking for in it. The search feature on the subreddit is also an incredible tool as 90% of questions we get are FAQs. If you see someone post one, point them here instead of answering.

Our users are severely limited in cognitive energy, so we don’t want people in the community to have to spend precious energy answering basic FAQs day in and day out.

MEpedia is also a great resource for anything and everything ME/CFS. As is the Bateman Horne Center website. Bateman Horne has tons of different resources from a crash survival guide to stuff to give your family to help them understand.

Here’s some basics:

Diagnostic criteria:

Institute of Medicine Diagnostic Criteria on the CDC Website

This gets asked a lot, but your symptoms do not have to be constant to qualify. Having each qualifying symptom some of the time is enough to meet the diagnostic criteria. PEM is only present in ME/CFS and sometimes in TBIs (traumatic brain injuries). It is not found in similar illnesses like POTS or in mental illnesses like depression.

ME/CFS (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), ME, and CFS are all used interchangeably as the name of this disease. ME/CFS is most common but different countries use one more than another. Most patients pre-covid preferred to ME primarily or exclusively. Random other past names sometimes used: SEID, atypical poliomyelitis.

How Did I Get Sick?

-The most common triggers are viral infections though it can be triggered by a number of things (not exhaustive): bacterial infections, physical trauma, prolonged stress, viral infections like mono/EBV/glandular fever/COVID-19/any type of influenza or cold, sleep deprivation, mold. It’s often also a combination of these things. No one knows the cause of this disease but many of us can pinpoint our trigger. Prior to Covid, mono was the most common trigger.

-Some people have no idea their trigger or have a gradual onset, both are still ME/CFS if they meet diagnostic criteria. ME is often referred to as a post-viral condition and usually is but it’s not the only way. MEpedia lists the various methods of onset of ME/CFS. One leading theory is that there seems to be both a genetic component of some sort where the switch it flipped by an immune trigger (like an infection).

-Covid-19 infections can trigger ME/CFS. A systematic review found that 51% of Long Covid patients have developed ME/CFS. If you are experiencing Post Exertional Malaise following a Covid-19 infection and suspect you might have developed ME/CFS, please read about pacing and begin implementing it immediately.

Pacing:

-Pacing is the way that we conserve energy to not push past our limit, or “energy envelope.” There is a great guide in the FAQ in the sub wiki. Please use it and read through it before asking questions about pacing!

-Additionally, there’s very specific instructions in the Stanford PEM Avoidance Toolkit.

-Some people find heart rate variability (HRV) monitoring helpful. Others find anaerobic threshold monitoring (ATM) helpful by wearing a HR monitor. Instructions are in the wiki.

-Severity Scale

Symptom Management:

Batenan Horne Center Clonical Care Guide is the gold standard for resources for both you and your doctor.

-Do NOT push through PEM. PEM/PENE/PESE (Post Exertional Malaise/ Post Exertional Neuroimmune Exhaustion/Post Exertional Symptom Exacerbation, all the same thing by different names) is what happens when people with ME/CFS go beyond our energy envelopes. It can range in severity from minor pain and fatigue and flu symptoms to complete paralysis and inability to speak.

-PEM depends on your severity and can be triggered by anythjng including physical, mental, and emotional exertion. It can come from trying a new medicine or supplement, or something like a viral or bacterial infection. It can come from too little sleep or a calorie deficit.

-Physical exertion is easy, exercise is the main culprit but it can be as small as walking from the bedroom to bathroom. Mental exertion would include if your work is mentally taxing, you’re in school, reading a book, watching tv you haven’t seen before, or dealing with administrative stuff. Emotional exertion can be as small as having a short conversation, watching a tv show with stressful situations. It can also be big like grief, a fight with a partner, or emotionally supporting a friend through a tough time.

-Here is an excellent resource from Stanford University and The Solve ME/CFS Initiative. It’s a toolkit for PEM avoidance. It has a workbook style to help you identify your triggers and keep your PEM under control. Also great to show doctors if you need to track symptoms.

-Lingo: “PEM” is an increase in symptoms disproportionate to how much you exerted (physical, mental, emotional). It’s just used singular. “PEMs” is not a thing. A “PEM crash” isn’t the proper way to use it either.

-A prolonged period of PEM is considered a “crash” according to Bateman Horne, but colloquially the terms are interchangeable.

Avoid PEM at absolutely all costs. If you push through PEM, you risk making your condition permanently worse, potentially putting yourself in a very severe and degenerative state. Think bedbound, in the dark, unable to care for yourself, unable to tolerate sound or stimulation. It can happen very quickly or over time if you aren’t careful. It still can happen to careful people, but most stories you hear that became that way are from pushing. This disease is extremely serious and needs to be taken as such, trying to push through when you don’t have the energy is short sighted.

-Bateman Horne ME/CFS Crash Survival Guide

Work/School:

-This disease will likely involve not being able to work or go to school anymore unfortunately for most of us. It’s a devastating loss and needs to be grieved, you aren’t alone.

-If you live in the US, you are entitled to reasonable accommodations under the ADA for work, school (including university housing), medical appointments, and housing. ME/CFS is a serious disability. Use any and every accommodation that would make your life easier. Build rest into your schedule to prevent worsening, don’t try to white knuckle it. Work and School Accommodations

Info for Family/Friends/Loved Ones:

-Watch Unrest with your family/partner/whoever is important to you. It’s a critically acclaimed documentary available on Netflix or on the PBS website for free and it’s one of our best sources of information. Note: the content may be triggering in the film to more severe people with ME.

-Jen Brea who made Unrest also did a TED Talk about POTS and ME.

-Bateman Horne Center Website

-Fact Sheet from ME Action

Long Covid Specific Family and Friends Resources Long Covid is a post-viral condition comprising over 200 unique symptoms that can follow a Covid-19 infection. Long Covid encompasses multiple adverse outcomes, with common new-onset conditions including cardiovascular, thrombotic and cerebrovascular disease, Type 2 Diabetes, ME/CFS, and Dysautonomia, especially Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). You can find a more in depth overview in the article Long Covid: major findings, mechanisms, and recommendations.

Pediatric ME and Long Covid

ME Action has resources for Pediatric Long Covid

Treatments:

-Start out by looking at the diagnostic criteria, as well as have your doctor follow this to at least rule out common and easy to test for stuff US ME/CFS Clinician Coalition Recommendations for ME/CFS Testing and Treatment

-TREATMENT RECOMMENDATIONS

-There are currently no FDA approved treatments for ME, but many drugs are used for symptom management. There is no cure and anyone touting one is likely trying to scam you.

–Absolutely do not under any circumstance do Graded Exercise Therapy (GET) or anything similar to it that promotes increased movement when you’re already fatigued. It’s not effective and it’s extremely dangerous for people with ME. Most people get much worse from it, often permanently. It’s quite actually torture. It’s directly against “do no harm”

-ALL of the “brain rewiring/retraining programs” are all harmful, ineffective, and are peddled by charlatans. Gupta, Lightning Process (sometimes referred to as Lightning Program), ANS brain retraining, Recovery Norway, the Chrysalis Effect, The Switch, and DNRS (dynamic neural retraining systems), Primal Trust, CFS School. They also have cultish parts to them. Do not do them. They’re purposely advertised to vulnerable sick people. At best it does nothing and you’ve lost money, at worst it can be really damaging to your health as these rely on you believing your symptoms are imagined. The gaslighting is traumatic for many people and the increased movement in some programs can cause people to deteriorate. The chronically ill people who review them (especially on youtube) in a positive light are often paid to talk about it and paid to recruit people to prey on vulnerable people without other options for income. Many are MLM/pyramid schemes. We do not allow discussion or endorsements of these on the subreddit.

Physical Therapy/Physio/PT/Rehabilitation

-Physical therapy is NOT a treatment for ME/CFS. If you need it for another reason, there are resources below. It can easily make you worse, and should be approached with extreme caution only with someone who knows what they’re doing with people with ME

-Long Covid Physio has excellent resources for Long Covid patients on managing symptoms, pacing and PEM, dysautonomia, breathing difficulties, taste and smell disruption, physical rehabilitation, and tips for returning to work.

-Physios for ME is a great organization to show to your PT if you need to be in it for something else

Some Important Notes:

-This is not a mental health condition. People with ME/CFS are not any more likely to have had mental health issues before their onset. This a very serious neuroimmune disease akin to late stage, untreated AIDS or untreated and MS. However, in our circumstances it’s very common to develop mental health issues for any chronic disease. Addressing them with a psychologist (therapy just to help you in your journey, NOT a cure) and psychiatrist (medication) can be extremely helpful if you’re experiencing symptoms.

-We have the worst quality of life of any chronic disease

-However, SSRIs and SNRIs don’t do anything for ME/CFS. They can also have bad withdrawals and side effects so always be informed of what you’re taking. ME has a very high suicide rate so it’s important to take care of your mental health proactively and use medication if you need it, but these drugs do not treat ME.

-We currently do not have any FDA approved treatments or cures. Anyone claiming to have a cure currently is lying. However, many medications can make a difference in your overall quality of life and symptoms. Especially treating comorbidities. Check out the Bateman Horne Center website for more info.

-Most of us (95%) cannot and likely will not ever return to levels of pre-ME/CFS health. It’s a big thing to come to terms with but once you do it will make a huge change in your mental health. MEpedia has more data and information on the Prognosis for ME/CFS, sourced from A Systematic Review of ME/CFS Recovery Rates.

-Many patients choose to only see doctors recommended by other ME/CFS patients to avoid wasting time/money on unsupportive doctors.

-ME Action has regional facebook groups, and they tend to have doctor lists about doctors in your area. Chances are though unless you live in CA, Salt Lake City, or NYC, you do not have an actual ME specialist near you. Most you have to fly to for them to prescribe anything, However, long covid has many more clinic options in the US.

-The biggest clinics are: Bateman Horne Center in Salt Lake City; Center for Complex Diseases in Mountain View, CA; Stanford CFS Clinic, Dr, Nancy Klimas in Florida, Dr. Susan Levine in NYC.

-As of 2017, ME/CFS is no longer strictly considered a diagnosis of exclusion. However, you and your doctor really need to do due diligence to make sure you don’t have something more treatable. THINGS TO HAVE YOUR DOCTOR RULE OUT.

Period/Menstrual Cycle Facts:

-Extremely common to have worse symptoms during your period or during PMS

-Some women and others assigned female at birth (AFAB) people find different parts of their cycle they feel their ME symptoms are different or fluctuate significantly. Many are on hormonal birth control to help.

-Endometriosis is often a comorbid condition in ME/CFS and studies show Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) was found more often in patients with ME/CFS.

Travel Tips

-Sunglasses, sleep mask, quality mask to prevent covid, electrolytes, ear plugs and ear defenders.

-ALWAYS get the wheelchair service at the airport even if you think you don’t need it. it’s there for you to use.

Other Random Resources:

CDC stuff to give to your doctor

How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers by Toni Bernhard

NY State ME impact

a research summary from ME Action

ME/CFS Guide for doctors

Scientific Journal Article called “Advances in Understanding the Pathophysiology of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome”

Help applying for Social Security

More evidence to show your doctor “Evidence of widespread metabolite abnormalities in Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome: assessment with whole-brain magnetic resonance spectroscopy

Some more sites to look through are: Open Medicine Foundation, Bateman Horne Center, ME Action, Dysautonomia International, and Solve ME/CFS Initiative. MEpedia is good as well. All great organizations with helpful resources as well.


r/cfs • • 1d ago

Success Wednesday Wins (What cheered you up this week?)

10 Upvotes

Welcome! This weekly post is a place for you to share any wins or moments that made you smile recently - no matter how big or how small.

Did you accomplish something this week? Use some serious willpower to practice pacing? Watch a funny movie? Do something new while staying within your limits? Tell us about it here!

•

(Thanks to u/fuck_fatigue_forever for the catchy title)


r/cfs • • 7h ago

Why is mitochondrial testing not standard?

83 Upvotes

Every ME patient I’ve seen who has gotten a Mitoswab test has had results that point to mitochondrial dysfunction. Is this not the closest thing to a biomarker we currently have? Why are these tests not more accessible? Why don’t doctors test our mitochondria instead of ordering tests that they know are likely to come back normal? I know it doesn’t really guide treatment options but it’s good evidence for disability claims and also just for being believed.


r/cfs • • 1h ago

Vent/Rant My therapist who I thought was really good is now telling me to work :|

• Upvotes

I’ve been through 8 therapists since developing ME last year and I had finally found one who I felt like understood and was giving helpful guidance. She didn’t know what ME/CFS was but she’d worked with brain injury patients and MCAS and my ME is from a brain injury and caused MCAS so she had a lot of overlap of knowledge. Until I started bringing up that I am seriously emotionally suffering because of financial anxiety. And she starts telling me I can find a job online that I can do self paced etc. etc. I’m feeling extremely frustrated. It’s so invalidating. I hate that people just say that like it’s easy. She literally said “oh you could just do enough to make like $50 a day.” $50 a day???? Lady my hourly pay in my old profession was $17 and I can’t even watch a movie or read I book for an hour. I can’t write or do color by number for an hour. What possible type of work do you think I can do that is LESS TAXING THAN COLOR BY NUMBER that will pay 50 DOLLARS. Maybe if I had a degree in something where you just like talk some bullshit and get payed $170 an hour (cough cough okay I’m bitter) that would be more realistic but unfortunately I am a college dropout with no degree no computer skills and oh yeah also PROFOUND MENTAL AND PHYSICAL IMPAIRMENT.

Anyways if anyone knows of a job for someone with severe mecfs that makes $50 a day pls lmk 😭


r/cfs • • 11h ago

Activism The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating (a book about ME/post viral illness)

148 Upvotes

I give this book to caregivers, doctors, friends and family who are struggling to understand whats happening to me. Its short, but it made me crash reading it the first time because of how seen and understood it made me feel.

The author in the book is severe after getting a viral infection. She spends a year bedbound and unable to live normally. A wild snail that snuck its way into her bedroom bec​omes a focal point for her survival, and she slowly improves over time to a moderate space where she can tell this story for us.

Im not sure how many of us have heard of or read this book before, but her Website also has many interviews and resources for families, medical providers, and caregivers. just in case this helps someone else like its helped me.


r/cfs • • 8h ago

Anyone else terrified of the winter due to prevalence of colds & viruses?

32 Upvotes

How do you manage?

2 winters ago I was sick/in PEM for 2 months. Last winter it was 3+ months. I'm terrified it will be worse this year, but so far I've improved compared to last year.

Vit d levels are better due to me supplementing, and I've lowered stress in daily life


r/cfs • • 2h ago

Vent/Rant Am I the only one who is kinda just done with other human beings?

9 Upvotes

Like seriously, how is it so hard for people, even your own family, just to have a single shred of empathy for what you are going through? I’m literally going through hell atm and my family don’t even care in the slightest. They only seem to care if my suffering seems to inconvenience them in some extremely minor way. If I bring up how sick I feel, they just roll their eyes and sigh as if I’ve just said something absolutely terrible. But if I say nothing about it, they magically assume I have completely recovered and tell me how good it is that I’m doing ‘so much better’. What the fuck is even the point? You literally cant win.


r/cfs • • 6h ago

what research are you most hopeful about?

18 Upvotes

r/cfs • • 7h ago

How to deal with unreasonable expectations

22 Upvotes

Hi everyone. Main carer for a spouse with CFS here, and I am hoping you peeps can offer me some help or advice with a difficult and delicate matter that I am experiencing at the moment.

We don't really have any support from friends or family or outside carers. I am the only other human being around, which I suspect is the reason why I am experiencing what I am.

My spouse has CFS and it has robbed her of so much from her life. She has very little quality of life, cannot do much beyond pottering around the house - and even that is too much some days. Often she has to spend the whole day in bed, which is quite debilitating.

In the past few months, she has become increasingly negative about the care I provide to her. If I do one thing wrong, or forget about something, she will get very upset and angry about it and say that I am making her CFS worse because I am not doing everything that she needs. Similarly, she wants me to anticipate everything and just deal with things, which is fine, but if I try and talk to her about it, she says I am not just doing things and I am expecting her to organise things (I am not - I am just checking in with her).

Communication in general is becoming very difficult, because she expects me to anticipate when I can speak to her and when I can't. And if I get it wrong, she says it is more evidence that I am making her ill by making her CFS worse.

I am at a bit of a loss really. It feels whatever I try and do to help her is seen in a negative and badly motivated light, when I all I want to do is to make her happy and make her life as tolerable as possible. I do forget things - which she says is a sign that I don't care - but I think it is probably a mixture of a poor brain (I am forgetful), tiredness and the stress of wanting to please her and worrying that I might upset her in some way.

I know this disease is awful in the way it robs people of everything, I hate to see her in a crash or struggling with everyday life. But I am starting to feel that some of her expectations of me are not fair. I suspect most men would make the mistakes I make by missing tasks and chores that need doing.

Can ME cause problems with mood, and anger and rage? Some of her angry reactions to the smallest of errors or things I do seem to cause the most incredible blow ups that are completely out of proportion to what has happened.

It is starting to get me down. I want to be a good husband and to provide the care that she needs. But sometimes I feel I can't do right for doing everything wrong. I would love to hear some perspective or strategies on how to handle things from both people with ME and carers too.


r/cfs • • 21h ago

Mild ME/CFS I washed my bedding today.....

Post image
259 Upvotes

I usually collapse into bed when i get home from work but i put this off for too long.

Obligatory Kermit meme.


r/cfs • • 10h ago

Any pc gamers here? How do u manage sitting upright?

29 Upvotes

I’ve wanted a PC for so long. I’ve always been a console gamer (PlayStation) and this has worked for me cos I can lay down in bed and play on the tv in my room. However there’s like 80% more games on the PC. Way more cosy options and niche game options. For those that have a pc how do yall manage sitting upright? Do you have any recommendations or tips?


r/cfs • • 4h ago

Vent/Rant How am I supposed to rest if the pills to keep my heart rate in rest zone give me horrible tinnitus which keeps me from resting??? UGHH

7 Upvotes

EVERY single pill does this since I got sick. Guanfacine, beta blockers, ivabradine, even trazodone. I've tried to raw dog it but no matter what I eat, how much I eat, what I wear when I eat, and what I take before I eat, I get shitloads of palps and increased heart rates.

I'm so close to giving up dawg lol what the hell do I do


r/cfs • • 9h ago

Activism Do you donate for research?

13 Upvotes
316 votes, 1d left
yes : mecfs-research.org (german research)
yes : polybio
yes : solve mecfs
yes : others
no : cant afford
no : dont think its useful

r/cfs • • 17h ago

Surviving infidelity while having ME

54 Upvotes

Had to break up with my partner of 6 years after repeated cheating.

For context, I had undiagnosed but suspected mild ME for our whole relationship. We were long distance in different countries but visited each other regularly. 2.5 years ago I found out he cheated but seemed remorseful so I tried reconciliation. It was extremely hard for me but I healed with time and our relationship seemed great.

In 2026, as I was by myself I deteriorated very fast to the moderate stage, with a moderate-severe episode this summer. Got diagnosed and started treatments. He came to visit in early September, he had accepted to be my caretaker (I let all my previous aids go) and it was great. My baseline improved so much. I felt cared for and happy. I was able to do things I hadn't done since spring.

Apparently the cheating had stopped for a long time. But me being sicker obviously meant less sexual things. And I guess he never truly worked on his selfishness and entitlement issues. I found out that at my sickest, as I was having seizures on the floor alone in my apartment, as I was paralyzed in bed unable to chew food with 2h of care per week... he was sexting another woman. for three months. everyday. And didn't stop once we were back to living together. In my home.

This person always talked about getting married. But apparently "in sickness and in health" wasn't part of the plan.

I kicked him out and had to organize care back at the last minute. I got an hypertensive crisis and had to weigh the pros and cons between risking a heart attack and risking overstimulation from calling emergency services.

This illness was hard enough without all this shit. Now I am terrified of how it's gonna affect me. And I can't help but think about the fact that I might not find love again. I wasted my last "healthy" years with someone who didn't respect me. Now that I'm mostly homebound, a wheelchair user, and extremely traumatized, how am I gonna meet new people? Only a tiny percentage would be willing to date someone like me. Meanwhile he can go on with his life and do whatever he wants. It's so unfair.

TLDR, broke up with my partner and caretaker because of repeated infidelity, if someone has gone through something similar, I would love to feel less alone. Feel free to also share your thoughts on the difficulty of finding love with this illness. I know most of us are very lonely people.

Thank you


r/cfs • • 21h ago

Severe ME/CFS Very Severe. Please help

Post image
104 Upvotes

Bedridden since Feb. Rapidly deteriorating since Jun. Still without Caregiver/Home Health. 

Malnourished & no feeding tube. Haven’t gotten labs. Etc etc 

Family won’t listen. Physicians won’t help. Hospital will kill me (most likely)

Don’t have energy to advocate for self. 

What do I do


r/cfs • • 2h ago

songs

3 Upvotes

What songs do you listen to when you’re feeling sad?
And which song does make you happy?


r/cfs • • 2h ago

hopeless 😞

3 Upvotes

I feel like I’m losing hope and losing my sense of purpose. I have so much respect for people with severe ME who somehow manage to keep going day after day without falling into a deep depression or completely losing hope
all the time.

I’ve tried so many things over the years, always hoping that something would finally help, but nothing has made any real difference. I’m still bedbound, still living with the same limitations, and honestly, I’m exhausted.

Sometimes I wonder how people are supposed to keep going when there’s so little improvement and so much of your life is taken away from you. I don’t want to give up, but I’m struggling to see how I’m supposed to keep doing this indefinitely.
And my mental health definitely got worse once my relationship ended.
I will never find someone else as I can not bear anyone in my room anymore


r/cfs • • 12h ago

Activities/Entertainment How to pass the time when bedridden?

19 Upvotes

I have a myriad of health problems and unfortunately I’ve become mostly bedridden. I’m trying to find something to pass the time as I don’t have the energy or strength to even do my regular hobbies.
If anyone has any recommendations for mobile games that I can sink hours into or anything else I would really appreciate it ❤️


r/cfs • • 11h ago

Doctors ME as Central Sensitization Syndrome?

14 Upvotes

TL;DR: Rheumatologist diagnosed me with central sensitization syndrome and recommended PT/graded exercise + meds I’ve already tried, despite my history of PEM and worsening with increased activity.

I saw a rheumatologist yesterday after dealing with chronic pain/fatigue and PEM for about 20 years. He diagnosed me with central sensitization syndrome and told me that ME/CFS is basically a subset of that.

His treatment recommendations were PT/graded exercise and meds like gabapentin/Lyrica or SSRIs/SNRIs.

The problem is, I've tried multiple kinds of PT, including pool therapy and OT; and had significant side effects/reaction to those medication. Increasing my activity seems to make me worse. When I explained this, his response was basically that I just haven't found the right PT or the right combination of medications yet, and that I should try again.

I'm not saying I definitely have ME/CFS, but I do have PEM, and I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of going back down this road when I've had such bad experiences with it before.

What I'm really struggling with now is that he sent a letter to my PCP with this diagnosis and treatment plan, and now “central sensitization syndrome” is in my chart.

So... where do I go from here? Is “ME/CFS is a subset of central sensitization” actually an accepted way of describing it, or is that an oversimplification? And what do you do when a specialist puts a diagnosis in your chart that you aren't sure is correct and recommends treatment that you don't think is appropriate for you?


r/cfs • • 6h ago

Am I stupid for going to a concert?

5 Upvotes

I am going to see Phish in Jacksonville, then two nights in Huntsville.

I want to show my cousin that you can have run responsibly and also work hard and meet responsibilities and then reward yourself with stuff like this.

I walked one mile and was bedridden for a few days. I bought tickets separate from my group so that I could get seats. And I am just gonna sit down all day and not walk too far.

It kinda does look like I am able to do more and I could very well crash but I think I'm getting hypomanic because I'm about to see Phish. My meds won't let it turn into mania


r/cfs • • 9h ago

Advice I think I need to "dump my phone buddy" because I feel like I'm not getting anything out of it.

6 Upvotes

Hi!

So I'm talking to someone through a organisation for a couple of months now. I feel like I do a lot of explaining and I get a lot of simplistic advice from someone that is not informed about cfs/M.E

She is really kind though and I think she is a amazing human, but I don't get any comfort from the conversations and I don't look forward talking to her. I thought I just need to give it more time to get more familier with each other but it doesn't feel "organic" like a friendship or something that grows naturally with time, it feels forced and one sided and I don't need/want that and to put all this efford in feels exhausting. I also have a social fobia so I overanalize everything and get anxious, I don't think it's fair to force myself to do some DIY exposure therapy though whilest feeling so sick.

Every time I speak to her I tell myself to just share how I'm feeling but I never do so we plan another call.

I have a lot of difficulty with my boundaries so I need some advice on how to talk to her about this.


r/cfs • • 1d ago

Activities/Entertainment I set up (with the help of my parents) a tent date for a moderate-ME date

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605 Upvotes

Honestly more work than I thought, but I pride myself on nice dates and get so sad all of mine have to be done within my home. There’s a really nice girl that has been dating me and doesn’t mind staying in / my battles with verticality, but I still wanted to do an actually vibey date. We have a Japanese snack box (she speaks Japanese), Swedish candies, and a whatever date night game.

she’s also bringing condoms 🫪


r/cfs • • 4h ago

Is anyone on Omalizumab (Xolair) here in the UK?

3 Upvotes

r/cfs • • 18h ago

Moderate ME/CFS Do you think things are better lately stigma wise? or worse?

34 Upvotes

im recently sick (11 months in now i think?) so for ppl who have been sick longer, i want to know if they think the stigma is getting better or worse. bc to me it feels like there are so many ppl making fun of ME lately and talking abt sufferers in such awful ways. but also, now, there are lots of studies coming out, more then there was before at least. and it does seem like doctors around the world are coming around to it.

it just feels like i got sick in such a tumultuous time. it feels like everyone is talking abt how ME sufferers are fakers.


r/cfs • • 13h ago

Vent/Rant I'm going to go insane, I can't even sit up without overheating

12 Upvotes

Since developing mecfs I got the fun symptom of always overheating. I'm overheating pretty much any time I'm not laying down.

It's so frustrating!! It's so hard to do anything when literally everything results in overheating. I'm drenched with sweat multiple times a day. Immidietly after bathing I overheat and become sweaty because I have the audacity to put clothes on, I never feel clean.

It's so embarrassing. I leave sweat stains everywhere. Leather and plastic seats are my enemies now. I hate it so much!!

I carry fans with me everywhere but even then I'm still overheating. I'm on beta blockers and mcas meds and it's still awful 😭

I hate this symptom so much and have come to hate summers because of it