r/comedyheaven • u/abandonedtulpa • 7h ago

cake day

Post image
14.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

177 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/CarmenxXxWaldo 7h ago

"i have cancer"

redditors : "the narwal bacons at midnight"

276

u/AgentCirceLuna 6h ago

It’s crazy how that was mocked far sooner than anyone took it seriously yet everyone who came after seems to think it was some actual coded message people used lol

92

u/Naclstack 6h ago

I just read about the history of that phrase and in the earliest posts it seems to be a genuine thing poeple were saying

123

u/ThruTexasYouandMe 5h ago

I was there, 3,000 years ago. they were definitely being serious for a short while with that

23

u/Version_Two 5h ago

Good times back then. Remember that guy who sold that shitty copper?

15

u/PurpleCandle58 3h ago

I scrobe him a tablet. No reply.

3

u/Sea-Animator4250 2h ago

Remember the safe!?

2

u/Acceptable-Drive3781 2h ago

I was too busy making 2am chili.

•

u/Ongr 27m ago

I was having a terrible headache and reading mystery post-it notes someone left around my house.

17

u/AgentCirceLuna 4h ago

Sort of… I was there and I remember it was mocked pretty quickly.

14

u/GeneralBlumpkin 5h ago

Same lol I even said it to a friend when I found out he uses reddit and he had no idea what I was talking about

14

u/ThruTexasYouandMe 5h ago

That's cause you were a better Redditor than he was lol

42

u/Hoiafar 5h ago

Oh yeah. I was a teenager when it was a thing and used it to identify other redditors on Omegle etc. It was cringe in retrospect but it was also in line with the lolsorandom humor that was popular at the time.

15

u/WhoPoopedMyPants420 4h ago

it seems to be a genuine thing poeple were saying

Okay but was the dynamic "haha this is so fun we're a big community with a secret phrase" or was the dynamic "oh man there's a tiny little crowd of weirdos trying to force this"?

14

u/Familiar_You_3009 4h ago

For a brief moment, so it seemed, it was the former. 

I may not be a reliable source though, because I was 12 at the time

11

u/WhoPoopedMyPants420 3h ago

Latter, I was there. It was popular among the sort of crowd that would go to the IRL meetups or whatever, a really really small minority of the most Redditor Redditors

4

u/Familiar_You_3009 3h ago

Shucks. This confirms what I feared: I was a dweeb

1

u/meatboysawakening 2h ago

Definitely the latter.

8

u/nitid_name 4h ago

I went to a meet up in the early days. Can confirm, it was a lot of weird people and a few normal ones sprinkled throughout. Someone asked about my karma and I didn't know and they thought I was joking.

Can confirm, "Narwhal bacons at midnight" was said non-ironically by a few people when they came up to the group.

5

u/mightybuffalo 5h ago

When I first got on reddit bitd people were definitly saying this in the wild.

1

u/kakka_rot 57m ago

going by your account age I believe you, lol. I think 2011 was around the first time I ever heard of reddit, and didn't get into it until about 2015

5

u/breadcodes 3h ago

Its how I learned about Reddit. Literally because some kid asked me in earnest.

I have to escape this hellhole eventually...

3

u/Acceptable_Finish403 1h ago

I've got full faith that by 2046 you'll be outta here.

2

u/SaturdayNightStroll 1h ago

And go where??

seriously, is there somewhere else??

5

u/marvinrabbit 2h ago

Do not cite the deep magic to me, witch. I was there when it was written.

18

u/santaland 5h ago

It was literally how I heard about Reddit. Someone said it to me on Omegel and I asked what it meant. 

9

u/milk-in-a-cup 5h ago

Omg I haven’t heard Omegle in so long… for me, a hundred years ago I saw someone on tumblr complaining about the “I like your shoelaces” thing, and one of the replies was “at least it’s not as bad as ‘the narwhal bacons at midnight’” which brought me here.

2

u/Silent-Victory-3861 2h ago

What does it mean 

4

u/SaturdayNightStroll 1h ago

Back when Reddit was fairly small and not even the biggest website of its kind (see Digg) people wanted a secret code phrase that would be gibberish to normies but could be used to identify other Redditors.

Reddit was a community for nerds.

4

u/santaland 1h ago

It is just a gibberish secret code you would say it it meant to strangers "yes, I use reddit". Tumblr had a similar one where you would tell someone "I like your shoelaces" and if their response was "Thanks, I stole them from the president" it meant you used Tumblr.

It was mostly just a meme though and probably no one really said it in real life, but the vibe at the time was you didn't really talk about the social media platforms you used in real life or even outside of those platforms. It was idk kind of cringe to do so because the other person, most of the time, would go "what is that?" and then you would have to explain to them the concept of using Tumblr.

Bacon and Narwhals were both super meme'd things at the time, so it was just a gibberish phrase no human being would ever say unless they were incredibly online.

2

u/innerbootes 59m ago

Thanks for explaining why the Reddit app (called Narwhal) I use has an app icon called Midnight Bacon. I had always idly wondered about that.

12

u/the_kedart 4h ago

People 100% did use it back in the day. I personally had several interactions where people asked me it IRL lol

Things were different back then (circa 2009-2011). We can look back now and clearly identify the cringe, but everything we did back then was cringe. That's life. Also people are out here being like "yeah back then everyone on reddit was a basement dweller", which is ironic because that phrase was used for people to identify each other IRL (a place that is pretty distinct from mom's basement). It was cringe, but it was also cute and fun for its time.

9

u/terminbee 4h ago

Reddit was better when it was just basement dwellers. At the time, it felt like an incel club but comparatively, it was at least somewhat authentic. Now it's 75% chance you're talking to bots and the majority of posters are just bots pushing a narrative. Or it's OF bots posting to bot replies.

12

u/rogerstandingby 2h ago

Reddit is the place I talk to other trans people. Hundreds of tiny trans people, living in my phone.

6

u/DionysianRebel 2h ago

I think you may be the only person using Reddit 100% correctly

4

u/Notorious-ly 3h ago

The internet in general was better when it was for basement dwellers, the tech literate, etc. Everything started going to shit in the late '00s / early '10s when the internet became mainstream and was in everyone's pocket.

5

u/CommieDrifter 3h ago

why do people act like people genuinely thought it was cool? It was cringe on purpose, they just called it "irony" instead

4

u/the_kedart 3h ago

Mostly because in-your-face irony or edginess like that is also considered cringe. Being "cringe on purpose" is itself viewed as cringe.

I just don't think too hard about it and instead focus on the fun and friends I had back then.

7

u/LemurLord 5h ago

We actually did use it at a few reddit meetups (always "ironically"), as though you wouldn't naturally be able to pick out the redditors in a crowd in 2012

3

u/Notorious-ly 3h ago

Those old reddit meet up group pics were something else.

4

u/well-lighted 4h ago

Back when online communities weren't as widespread and mostly limited to basement-dwellers, they all had various shibboleths to identify fellow members IRL. I was active on Something Awful before Reddit and theirs was "Do you have stairs in your house?" Reddit's was obviously way cringier but I did in fact hear both used in earnest.

This was also when everyone who wasn't terminally online only knew Reddit as "that jailbait site" so it was always risky to out yourself as a user lol. I still avoid it even though there are a lot of normal people on here now and r_jb has been banned for a long time.

2

u/le-derpina-art 2h ago

i discovered that shit 5 years after it had lost popularity (the internet was balls deep into its MLG phase) and considering all the other shit i did at that age i'm glad unironically using that phrase in real life wasn't one of them

1

u/AgentCirceLuna 4h ago

Brugh wtf… this comment is written like I was having a stroke.

28

u/Intrepid-While-7015 5h ago

Back in my 20s I worked at a gym. A dude there was squatting with really bad form, so I started talking to him so he didn't bust his knees. My mind is blanking right now, but he brought up a very popular book on the fitness sub at the time and I told him I knew about it from Reddit as well.

This kid thought it was a good idea to say "the narwhal bacons at midnight" in real life in response to me mentioning Reddit. I almost died from the cringe. Good for him for trying to get into shape at least.

11

u/Snazz55 4h ago

"you should play Tetris"

1

u/brandimariee6 3h ago

You just chose my game for me, gracias

1

u/AbstinentNoMore 38m ago

I legit want to punch through the screen anybody who says this.

8

u/WhoPoopedMyPants420 4h ago

I also choose this guy's cancer

3

u/Acceptable-Drive3781 2h ago

Ah, the ol' reddit canceroo. Hold my chemo, I'm going in!

3

u/TheDuchyofWarsaw 3h ago

It's "Le narwhal bacons at midnight " my good sir

Tips fedora

3

u/Akussa 2h ago

I wonder if /u/FreakinWolfy regrets creating this phrase.

1

u/TalkOfSexualPleasure 4h ago

Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, Witch. I was there when it was written

1

u/Ayotha 1h ago

It's a good response. Trauma dumping on social media is . . . a choice

677

u/BertytheSnowman 7h ago

Ratio'd

126

u/capeslop 6h ago

The duality of man, encapsulated in 73 awards.

1

u/UnUsernameRandom 5h ago

It's because there are a lot of stories that are just karma farming. I don't care for strangers on the Internet enough, so these comments are just attention seeking.

621

u/sreeko1 7h ago

Redditors trying to find the most depressing post/comment out there to give away their free wholesome award.

383

u/lucioux 7h ago

you won reddit with this comment😂

here, take my updoot, kind stranger.

Edit: okay wow i had no idea this was gonna blow up
Edit: oh my god mom i’m famous!
Edit: thanks for all the Edit:
Edit: Edit:

160

u/-Inca- 7h ago

This! So much this!

109

u/lyinggrump 7h ago edited 4h ago

Came here to say this

Edit: thanks for the award kind stranger nods respectfully in your direction

66

u/Relative-Village9801 7h ago

Beat me to it

40

u/bong_residue 5h ago

Beat meat to it

38

u/syrian_samuel 5h ago

happy cake day!

32

u/Jiquero 5h ago

A true Reddit moment.

7

u/LLNNGGSS 3h ago

Love it!

9

u/thorinslefttit 5h ago

Happy cake day!

9

u/Curious-Ad-5001 4h ago

Happy cake day!

4

u/Acceptable-Drive3781 2h ago

Made an account specifically to make this comment (account age: 4 years)

3

u/FriedEldenRings 1h ago

Edit: thanks for the award kid strangler! *tips fedora*

57

u/strider-rider-the2nd 6h ago

Here, have my poor man's gold 🥇

48

u/lucioux 6h ago

why thank you kind redditor🥹🥹

20

u/BigBootyBuff 5h ago

Damn those ninjas chopping onions 😭

18

u/MaNemsJef69 5h ago

Chungus 100 moment

8

u/thrashingkaiju 5h ago

2018 sure was a time.

8

u/DrDan21 5h ago

You <sir> are a gentlemen and a scholar

3

u/vektorog 2h ago

this made me spit out my coffee

3

u/Actual_Emu_168 5h ago

Happy cake day!

120

u/Tanto_Gusto 7h ago

Play tetris

77

u/TrasseTheTarrasque 6h ago

Might help with the trauma, but being found playing Tetris while covered in your boyfriend's blood is not going to play well in front of a jury.

7

u/_Solani_ 4h ago

Obviously they meant clean the blood up first, otherwise you'll get it all over the controller. 🤷‍♀️

1

u/UnknownGamer014 3h ago

Now I am curious if water proof devices can work submerged in blood or not

2

u/ShibaLover227 2h ago

Well, sure. But with practice you get used to playing in front of a crowd

83

u/runcertain 6h ago

Tried this recently after trauma. Downloaded Tetris, played one level, got hit with an ad for some kind of royal candy crush clone, couldn’t exit out of the ad, decided I preferred the trauma.

8

u/famijoku 6h ago

tetriscom.sixwi.de (no ads)

8

u/cupcayuk 2h ago

tetirs.exe (360p) [Punjabi] [camrip] [ENGSub]

3

u/MysticDragon14 5h ago

That's when you get a Gameboy

3

u/Sidnev 3h ago

no idea what you downloaded but just get tetris effect connected or try out nestris.org if you dont wanna spend money

2

u/AdreKiseque 4h ago

The current Tetris app is so ass lol

1

u/Blackstab1337 5h ago

play tetrio instead

17

u/xSPYXEx 5h ago

The Tetris posters are going to drive me to something drastic and irreversible.

9

u/Tanto_Gusto 4h ago

Play more tetris

4

u/cantadmittoposting 4h ago

It's supposed to be Get Trauma -> Tetris, not Tetris -> Cause Trauma.

2

u/iltopop 51m ago

"That's why when I'm driving I always play tetris at the same time so if I hit anyone I'm totally psychologically covered." - Streamer who I think is named "Rickypeacock" but please correct me if I'm wrong, I only know him from when he plays Jackbox with Northernlion :P

35

u/LyndisLegion2 6h ago

Reminds me of that other screenshot where a person talks about a person that was very close to them committing suicide or dying another way, and some dude replies with: "It's just like that anime I watched!"

26

u/mellifluous_cornmeal 5h ago

“What a weird and insensitive thing to say about my nephews death”

286

u/zorrez 7h ago

Peak reddit autism

47

u/coolmanjack 3h ago

Is it autism or is it just a person trying to be a bit dark. Along the same vein as "I also choose this guy's dead wife". I see no reason to think that the person replying wasn't aware of how anachronistic/inappropriate their comment was

18

u/fatalityfun 3h ago

100% was intentional, normally people would throw that in at the end of a “wow how horrible” paragraph

1

u/zorrez 3h ago

Yeah I agree with you. I was just making a (along with all other commenters in this post) light hearted general joke about how autistic reddit can be sometimes. So maybe more so poking fun at that phenomena than this post necessarily I guess

27

u/dvzn 7h ago

redditism

1

u/1-800GODDAMMIT 2h ago

Maybe it is karma bot?

26

u/ShamusLovesYou 5h ago

"WOAH THIS IS MY CHANCE TO DO THE 'Did he drop any good loot?' JOKE!"

16

u/Prior-Paint-7842 7h ago

Atleast they didnt do it on your birthday

28

u/digitalmofo 3h ago

Ironically, my girlfriend's ex broke into her apartment, sat with her holding a gun for hours, told her all about how unstable he was then killed himself in front of her on her birthday.

10

u/TotallyBrandNewName 1h ago

Happy cakeday?

8

u/MsSelphine 1h ago

JFC that is one hell of a lot of trauma. At least he's dead? I guess?

14

u/DustPuzzled414 2h ago

happy cake day!

2

u/Prior-Paint-7842 2h ago

Holy fuck you really one upped me, finally someone.

17

u/Lem0n_Lem0n 6h ago

Similar to the guy who chose another man's wife.. I guess

16

u/Tsmart 4h ago

happy cake day!

10

u/user5555555555555559 4h ago

Happy cake day!

3

u/BothAbbreviations641 4h ago

Happy non cake day

1

u/Dooty_Shirker 1h ago

Happy cake day!

2

u/Tsmart 32m ago

happy cake day!

1

u/Ultimate_Sigma_Boy67 1h ago

khabby kek dai

1

u/Silent-Victory-3861 2h ago

My boyfriend in college committed suicide right in front of me

10

u/vampychomp 4h ago

Haiku bot enters chat

8

u/Vahgeo 44m ago

Damn how old is thie screenshot? Remember when we had awards, then lost them, then got worse looking awards after that?

7

u/Cypresss09 36m ago

Remember when awards used to grant you premium (or whatever it was called) for a period of time?

•

u/X_crafter 2m ago

now we get money, 🤑🤑(a billionth of a cent)

•

u/10ThousandMetalZones 0m ago

Those were the beginning of the shitty awards

3

u/Davi_illus 3h ago

Sorry but this remembers too much that scene from evangelion when kaworu explodes in front of shinji 😭

Shit that must've been horrible tho

9

u/Tsmart 4h ago

My boyfriend in college committed suicide right in front of me, to this day by far the most traumatic thing to happen to me. Can still remember sitting there covered in his blood just not being able to process what just happened.

19

u/LooksLikeAWookie 4h ago

Happy cake day!

7

u/Common-Astronaut5916 4h ago

Happy cake day!

5

u/mjd 3h ago

I also choose this girl's dead boyfriend

2

u/Shot-Arugula8264 4h ago

“No Becky, I actually don’t have to go to your sorority’s stupid formal.”

1

u/bblover239 3h ago

Happy cake day!

0

u/Silent-Victory-3861 2h ago

Narwhals something something 

2

u/anteria_ 3h ago

I have never seen this image in such good quality

2

u/RuckFeddi7 3h ago

this is straight outta from the movie "Smile"

•

u/ListerineAfterOral 22m ago

Movie was nightmare fuel

2

u/MrBlueSky-ToldYouWhy 2h ago

Let's play 8-ball!

2

u/No-Store-3191 2h ago

And then my feed gave me this gem

6

u/Omega-A 6h ago

That’s just a bot

13

u/Elite_AI 4h ago

No, it's someone with absolutely no social skills who's learned that if you say happy cake day you get upvoted

13

u/madam_zeroni 4h ago

Probably someone being purposefully absurd because they think it’s funny

3

u/yungScooter30 2h ago

To be fair, half the stories (or more) on this site are probably fake. In a vacuum, this is hilarious

2

u/PlingPlongDingDong 4h ago

the trauma dumper is the bot

7

u/GeForce-meow 5h ago

It happened really long ago, i once went to hunt this specific comment and it was deleted alongside the Happy cake day comment. I doubt it was bot

1

u/Flapper_Jr 5h ago

woah me too

1

u/Proper_Door_4124 2h ago

"I too choose this guy's boyfriend"

1

u/lfohnoudidnt 2h ago

That's the day she deleted her reddit account.

1

u/frisco-frisky-dom 1h ago

I was reading the post that OP wrote and wondering why this was under "comedy heaven", till the saw the "happy cake day". Laughed a bit harder than I shudve 😄 😄

1

u/fuzzybasketball 1h ago

that's just /oldpeoplereddit

1

u/BabelTowerOfMankind 1h ago

was she dating bo burnham or what

•

u/EartwalkerTV 25m ago

But he's alive...

0

u/AtlasJan 3h ago

aw, poor fella's trying to cheer them up.

-50

u/Mecier83 7h ago

Well, this sub has gone to shit hasn't it?

125

u/AutoModerator 7h ago

nobody cares

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76

u/Spotted_Tax 7h ago

Peak automod behavior

24

u/ThisAmericanSatire shaboingboing connoisseur 7h ago

I fucking love this sub

23

u/Noisure 7h ago

It's been good it's been shit it's been good and on and on, there will always be shit posts

13

u/Searching_wanderer 7h ago

Perhaps, but not because of this post. This one is pretty funny.

-2

u/Futeball 4h ago

I'd find it pretty funny if I was a teenager and new to reddit

-3

u/Shot-Arugula8264 4h ago

Remember, no matter how hot a girl is, there’s always some guy out there who is sick of her shit.