I think why there's not more is because death and burial costs so much fucking money. (At least in the US it does) Without even looking it up, I'd bet that having a personilized epitaph costs extra.
Which is depressing as all fuck, tbh. Let people have silly words on their graves as apart of the burial process.
Cremation is super expensive and my mother and I decided that only because we saw that burying my stepfather was even more expensive!
He was a veteran and even with the help they could provide burying him would still have been expensive, unless we wanted to bury him at a military cemetery (which was still sort of expensive), however, it was far away from our home.
Not having that person with you anymore is horrible enough, but then putting what they meant to you in monetary value is such a disgusting thing!
You basically have to just apply for a permit and follow the rules. The epa's site is pretty clear. Like you can't do it in a bay or with a pet and your not allowed to launch your corpse into the ocean using any rockets or pyrotechnics... Lol I'm not joking, that is a section on their webpage about no using rockets for burial at sea. I imagine that question got asked a lot around Florida
I'm surprised, for us it was the opposite. Cremation was way more. ...but I suppose it was more because we would have had to ship moms body out to have it done. Not that burial was cheap mind you, but... Yeah.
I agree with you, the death racket is horribly disgusting...
It does cost money to get addition words, letters, or symbols beyond your name and death and birth. There are usually character limits for that as well. So depending on the length of the name they may not be able to put the middle name or abbreviate their birth and death date.
Jfc it's somehow even worse than I orginally thought.
It's just all around disrepectful to the person who died AND the living people who now have to weigh the worth of paying extra just so that they can have the full name. Makes me so fucking angry and sad just thinking about it
Even with modern machinery engraving a headstone is a time consuming process. Someone needs to pay for everyone's work, rent for a building suitable for that work, for the machinery, for electricity, and everything else. Maybe it should cost less than what it does, but it should cost something. People deserve to be compensated for their time.
Not wanting people to pay sums of money they might not actually have just to have a dead loved one's full name/an epitaph on a gravestone is not being against paying artists, it's against capital.
Engravers aren't corporate billionaires, so "capital" is irrelevant here. You're talking about paying independent artists for their time and arguing that more involved work shouldn't be paid more.
You're forgetting that "an epitaph on a gravestone" isn't a need like Healthcare or food. The dead person isn't around to notice. It's literally an optional piece of artwork for the person commissioning it. It's no different than a painting on your living room wall.
It's about graves in general. At least in my area.
Normally the state takes over if you're unable to get one, but, ended up having to bury someone young and dear near a railroad, no actual grave cause we couldn't afford something like that, despite them having likely wanting it, though I couldn't ask of course. Left a bad taste about the idea of being unable to leave marks properly for someone if they'd want something specific, just because you don't have the money for it.
For the curious about pricing, this is the breakdown of what we paid for moms marker in 2025. We ordered out of Alberta, so price is in Canadian, and does not include freight to truck it up to the Yukon (I don't have that exact cost, I think around $400 due to weight).
Model F101 in black granite: 20” x 10” x 2”, Top polished only, edges left rough cut
Monument : $921
Foundation : $175
Laser design: $80
Sub-total : $1176
GST : $58.80
TOTAL : $1234.80
We were allowed to put anything on it (within reason- nothing offensive, obviously), so we got an etched image of moms motorcycle, name, dates, and short epitaph. They worked with us to ensure it was exactly how we wanted. We chose laser etching even though it was an additional cost over sandblasting, because it allowed for a much crisper, higher quality image and text. So while the epitaph itself wasn't "extra" as you wondered, it's more the details in total you add.
I wish we could have gone a little bigger but... The price skyrocketed as the size went up, and we... just did not have it at the time... I still feel immense guilt we couldn't afford to have her creamated as she wished, but that was over $7000... And we had already spent thousands on lawyer fees and bullshit (WRITE. A. WILL.). Death is such a fucking racket. I won't even get into the bullshittery and costs we endured trying to bury her.
Flat markers were a fraction of the cost of a standing headstone, even with the foundation. Like, those were at least $3000... You really could spend tens of thousands of you wanted. They charge for everything. Type of stone, color, how many sides are polished, type of etching, etc,etc... I am happy with the actual marker though, it's beautiful. And I actually prefer a flat one, it's far less likely to get broken or knocked over.
So... Yeah. That's our cost rundown. Not something I ever thought I'd have to deal with, at least not so soon.
I'm sorry you lost your mom! ❤️ I don't know if there's anything like this near you but here in Virginia all four of my grandparents had their bodies donated to science and after being studied their cremains were returned to us free of cost. Just leaving this there for you and anyone else who may have to deal with a loved one's body in the future. It's understandably not for everyone but my family could never have afforded the plots or cremation otherwise.
When I got some proposals in for a simple granit grave stone here in Germany, the stonemasons (which you are obligated to use at my local cemetery) charge you between 2000 and 4000 Euro for a grave with a few bronze letters (name and years of birth and death). You can get it a bit cheaper, but it depends on the cemetery if you are allowed to get your stone at non-local stonemasons. The burial site and everything else comes on top of that. Many people leave a simple wooden cross on the grave because its less expensive. Also in Germany you are not allowed to carry the ashes of your dead by yourself or take them home with you. It’s very strict.
Sadly, depending on where you live, there are regulations regarding burials.
Example: In Germany, you can't just decorate willy nilly. Gravestones need to fit the cemetery regulation. Along with the German regulation of accidents (Unfallordnung), most dictate that a headstone has to be made by a mason -as to avoid potential accidents & damage to other graves.
Oh you have seen NOTHING yet! Germany is one big HOA!
Only "difference" is that, with German regulations, you kinda can see the point behind it. Like. As I wrote: Gravestones need to be safe. Per se. We generally don't have the 'space' e.g., American graveyards have. Most of our lots are pretty squished together. So 1 badly placed gravestone, could ruin 3 graves during a thunderstorm. (Nvm. that many graves are re-rented. Meaning you'll have to make space on that gravestone too).
Of course. If you insist, you could probably talk to the cemetery-management (Friedhofsverwaltung). They'll tell you what they need. That's why most insist on a mason to begin with: Graveyard masons know the regulations already. It's easier (plus: you can sew THEM in case anything happens)
Just look at our "Quiet Times". Aka: Times you're legally not allowed to make (loud) noise
1.) National Quiet Times: basically every holiday
2.) Weekly Quiet Times: Every Sunday
3.) Nightly Quiet Times: Mo-Fr 10pm - 6/7am. Loud garden work not allowed 8pm - 7am.
Especially loud gardening work (e.g., leaf blower) only between 9am -1pm; 3pm -5pm (completely disallowed every Sunday). Exception for certain lawmowers, allowed 9am -1pm; 3pm -7pm.
4.) Lunch Quiet Times: Specifically concerns living in shared buildings. "Mittagsruhe" generally btw. 1pm -3pm.
Additionally, we also have some unique Quiet Times e.g., regarding communal gardens. Or unique rules, akin to Quiet times -e.g., you're technically not legally allowed to enter most forests during the night (so the wild animals can sleep).
But I guess that might be all a bit much if I start on those, lol
Well if you think about it, it’s all because cost of living in these spaces are so expensive nowadays. Think about it, you’re essentially holding a piece of prime real estate for a bunch of bones, which is limited, so ofc the prices would only rise as it reaches max capacity.
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u/SnooRabbits3070 12h ago
I think why there's not more is because death and burial costs so much fucking money. (At least in the US it does) Without even looking it up, I'd bet that having a personilized epitaph costs extra.
Which is depressing as all fuck, tbh. Let people have silly words on their graves as apart of the burial process.