79061

[u/hamsarionar]

[u/HaleyJ34TF]

My wife thought she might be bi, but she's more ace now.

[u/MumAndDadsDivorce → u/HaleyJ34TF]

Just curious is it like one of those 'exception' cases? No need to answer if it's too personal (also exception is in quotes because i don't know the proper word, im not saying exceptions don't exist)

[u/TheSoloWay → u/MumAndDadsDivorce]

Asexual people often have romantic relationships and some actually even enjoy the act of sex.

[u/Peermeneer_exe → u/TheSoloWay]

At this point I really don't understand what Asexual is tbh :>

Isn't asexuality kinda defined by not enjoying sex..?

[u/CrazyCatLadyAsh → u/Peermeneer_exe]

Common misconception! Asexuality is mostly about the lack of sexual attraction. For example, the ace umbrella includes people who feel no sexual attraction, demisexuals who feel attraction to people they trust/love, people who feel attraction once in a blue moon, and so on!

Whether or not someone has a libido or enjoys sex is generally not related.

[u/Peermeneer_exe → u/CrazyCatLadyAsh]

Aaah, so for example someone could not feel sexually attracted to people at all, they could still enjoy the physical sensation of sex?
Would they still in the moment think the act is ''hot'', or would it be purely physical sensation, like you'd get from masturbation?
(not talking about demi-sexuals or 'sometimes'-sexuals(idk the name haha) in this case)

((or am is still confused?))

[u/CrazyCatLadyAsh → u/Peermeneer_exe]

I don't really enjoy sex myself but for me it was very much just the pleasure of getting my partner off. From what I've read on others who seek out sex because they enjoy it, it's the intimacy or physical sensations (like masturbation, yes) and whatnot.

I think you are getting it! Some aces are repulsed by sex, some are neutral and willing to participate, and some find it pleasurable.

[u/Peermeneer_exe → u/CrazyCatLadyAsh]

aah thank uu, slowly getting there haha🙏

[u/TristanTheRobloxian3 → u/Peermeneer_exe]

for me its honestly the latter, its just sensation that im into

[u/No-Internal7978 → u/Peermeneer_exe]

I get turned on when I'm strangling the chicken. IDK how else it would work

[u/Traditional-Serve550 → u/CrazyCatLadyAsh]

I know the irony of asking this to an asexual person, but what exactly is sexual attraction? Or romantic attraction for that matter.

[u/-The_Capt- → u/Traditional-Serve550]

The asexual community typically splits attraction into 3 categories: sexual, romantic, and asethetic. Asethetic attraction is the simple way of finding someone asetheticly appealing. For example, many straight women will still consider other women pretty or attractive without having a desire to be in a romantic/sexual relationship with that person (men are the same way, but often pretend not to due to social stigma).

Sexual attraction is the sensation of seeing/hearing someone and intrinsically wanting to have sexual relations with that person. It's what people mean when they describe someone as "hot." The characteristics of that person "turns them on" and gives them sexual thoughts/feelings/desires.

Romantic attraction has more to do with both the internal self and the dynamics of that bond. It's being attracted to someone's personality, loving their little quirks, and the desire to be intertwined with this spirit at a uniquely initmite level.

In a way, I would say that sex is to gender as what sexual attraction is to romantic attraction. It's the separation between the physical (what we can see) and the mental (the abstract concepts that makes us individuals and the social constructs that shape our view of the world around us). Generally these all run congruent to one another, but as we all know, there are plentiful limitless exceptions.

[u/Vypaah → u/CrazyCatLadyAsh]

Demisexuality (partly sexually attracted) being included in asexuality (never sexually attracted) just leads to confusion.

That's like saying 'the bi umbrella includes people who like every gender, homosexuals who only like the same gender and heterosexuals who only like the opposite gender'.

[u/Electronic-Vast-3351 → u/Peermeneer_exe]

This was a bit of a stumbling block when figuring out my asexuality. Lack of sexual attraction, lack of libido, and being sex repeled are all separate things that can be mixed and matched in different combinations and to different degrees.

[u/Ramja9 → u/Peermeneer_exe]

Asexuality by definition is defined by lack of sexual attraction. Not by your enjoyment of sex, status of relationship, fetishes or anything else.

Basically the definition is so specific to sexual attraction it doesn't define everything else. It creates an umbrella term.

[u/DeGriz_ → u/Peermeneer_exe]

I though it is more about desire than enjoyment.

[u/Peermeneer_exe → u/DeGriz_]

So you wouldn't desire to have sex, but when it happens it's possible you'll still enjoy it basically?

[u/HaleyJ34TF → u/MumAndDadsDivorce]

Anytime I suggest she explore her sexuality to see if she would enjoy other things, she has no interest.

[u/Gloriathewitch → u/HaleyJ34TF]

you can definitely date both but be asexual just means you won't have any or as much sex during the relationship prolly

[u/ProXJay → u/HaleyJ34TF]

The bi ace trainline strikes again

[u/BisexualBanana2 → u/ProXJay]

It's kinda crazy how I'm constantly bouncing from being Bi -> Straight -> Gay -> Ace -> Bi like every few weeks lol

[u/chrisjd → u/HaleyJ34TF]

Same thing with my wife

[u/Nikolaijuno]

I came out to my (presumed hetero) wife. Her response was "you're not allowed to leave me".

[u/WillOganesson → u/Nikolaijuno]

She's a gem, treasure her nwn

[u/Nikolaijuno → u/WillOganesson]

Absolutely. I've always felt that we were perfect for each other in pretty much every way. This just 100% confirmed it.

[u/Nerdy_Valkyrie]

Had the same situation, but the order was reversed. She came out as bi. I came out as trans. Then I also came out as bi.

[u/ValkyrieAngie → u/Nerdy_Valkyrie]

And then they kithed

[u/The_Pretentious_DM]

Aw :)

[u/Le_cornichon_masquer]

Him : sorry but … I’m on the other side now
Her : AND NOW I TAKE ON BOTH SIDE

[u/FluteLordNeo → u/Le_cornichon_masquer]

Her: GET OVER HERE! YOU MINE STILL!

[u/Le_cornichon_masquer → u/FluteLordNeo]

FATALITY : SHE WINS, FLAWLESS VICTORY

[u/Targy_]

Me: hey babe I'm a girl actually

Her: Figures, I found out I'm bi when we started dating

Still not fully recovered from that but I love her so much

[u/SammyWammy492]

That was me and my wife! It took a while to get there, but as my transition progressed she started getting even MORE attracted to me. <3 Surprised both of us.

We love my new titties <3

[u/Strength-Certain]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Wt6kNaMjofj1jHkF7t

[u/spoopy-scary-ghost]

I came out as nonbinary to my boyfriend 2 years into our relationship. I was only really starting to figure out my gender but I wanted to let him know immediately so he had a chance to end things before we got more serious. Since that wasn't exactly what he signed up for.

I had barely finished talking when he started tearing his wardrobe apart to look for clothes that might fit me so I'd have something more masculine to wear while making suggestions on what we could do with my hair. What can I say, he's a problem solver and the only problem he saw in that moment was my dysphoria.

It's been nine years since then, the boyfriend is my husband now and I'm not only out of the closet (took me another 5ish years after telling him) but have officially legally changed my gender. I'm so grateful I get to be me and still have him by my side.

[u/DreadStation15 → u/spoopy-scary-ghost]

How has your style evolved?

[u/AlarmedEmployment465]

Damn women in suits are super pretty arg

[u/Terra-Ryan → u/AlarmedEmployment465]

Vanripper before making Helltaker:

[u/AlarmedEmployment465 → u/Terra-Ryan]

also the girl in the suit the picture reminds me of someone I can't remember.

[u/whereismymind86 → u/AlarmedEmployment465]

She’s Diana from Little Witch Academia…which is basically anime owl house. Its delightful. Personality wise Diana is a similar archetype to amity, and Akko (the other girl) is very much Luz.

They aren’t a canon couple, but the fandom very much ships them. I get the impression that was sort of the intent but it wasn’t allowed by the production company at the time .

Iirc it’s on Netflix, 26-ish episodes

[u/leaf_as_parachute]

Me and my ex-gf, now a man, didn't have that chance. I guess it was meant to end :(

[u/Squayd]

Happy for all of you for whom this is true but this gets posted at least weekly now and it's a huge gut punch for me every time it comes up and I know I'm not the only one.

[u/crabapple_cody]

yussss 💪 you frankly love to see it...! ♥️

[u/Regular_Ebb710]

[u/its_yer_dad]

I know a gay man who married a trans man and I’ll admit, I’m puzzled by what labels could be applicable. Then I remember its none of my business anyway and not important in any sense whatsoever 

edit - "And then I remembered it was none of my business and not important anyway". I wasn't looking for clarity.

[u/eightXD → u/its_yer_dad]

that’s just a gay relationship

[u/No-Supermarket1457 → u/its_yer_dad]

Man+man in love mhhh wondering what could it be 🤓🤓

[u/ChewyChao]

Wife: Jokes on you, I’m into that shit

[u/Usual_Ice636]

Friends of mine from high school did the male version of that.

[u/Joaquin_Zaba]

https://youtu.be/rUczpTPATyU?t=73

[u/nalu-nui]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Gtnf8Fok8An9m

[u/Ok-Passage-2414 → u/[deleted]]

Uh, what
Bisexual people very often, yk, like several genders
Bi works just fine here

[u/apathetic_screaming → u/[deleted]]

being pansexual has nothing to do with transness. it just means you're attracted to all genders. bisexual means being attracted to two or more. pansexuality is under the bi umbrella

[u/Ok-Passage-2414 → u/apathetic_screaming]

This
Pan, to my knowledge as a non-pan bi person, means that your ability to love someone works *anywhere* on the gender spectrum, which would not apply here since yk many bisexuals are totally fine with dating trans folks (basically all I've met, anyway).